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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you sell your house to a registered sex offender?

160 replies

TiffanyBonj · 25/04/2016 11:36

We've got a big move coming up and thought we had the house all sorted out, we've just been informed by our agency that the possible buyer has disclosed that she is currently registered on the sex offender's list.

I was Shock . She's married with two really young kids, and seemed like a decent person, we don't know what to do now.

Are we allowed to ask her for more information? I don't know anything about the sex offender's registry, are people on their for the rest of their lives? Do you think they can change? Her being on the registry is the only reason we would turn down their offer, their's no way I would ever want to put children at risk, but is that unreasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
TiffanyBonj · 25/04/2016 11:55

KayTee I didn't know it was for all sexual offences, that actually makes me feel a lot better, I was really worried she had done something really awful and I would be letting her near possible victims.

OP posts:
Stratter5 · 25/04/2016 11:56

No I wouldn't.

celeste83 · 25/04/2016 11:56

How would you feel if your neighbour sold their house to a sex offender? I'd try and find out the severity of the crime and then make a decision.

Thefitfatty · 25/04/2016 11:56

Well according to this: www.theguardian.com/society/2006/jan/18/childrensservices.politics1

She has to inform that police when she moves address and they can stop her if they consider her a risk, especially if there are young children in the area. However, given she's allowed to live with her kids I'd assume she's not a risk to children.

Will you be her landlord or are you selling the house directly to her?

Itsmine · 25/04/2016 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

witsender · 25/04/2016 11:56

How would you be putting a child at risk? She may not have had anything to do with children, can't be that much of a risk if her kids are still there and you don't even have kids living next door. She is going to live somewhere.

VimFuego101 · 25/04/2016 11:57

Could you make a request under Sarah's law? The only issue with that is I believe that the requester has to have a legitimate reason for asking - so the request might need to be from one of your neighbours as they will be the ones living near her and possibly having their kids be in contact with her.

yorkshapudding · 25/04/2016 11:58

If she is a risk to children then she will continue to be a risk to children wherever she is living. However, if she has been allowed to retain custody of her own DC's then clearly Social Care and the Police/probation services have determined that she is not.

Original poster
TiffanyBonj · 25/04/2016 11:58

Okay, so I am being unreasonable Grin . I'm actually really glad, because I was sure I was going to get a lot of people telling me to not sell and if I did I would be a horrible person etc. She seemed really nice, and I wish the agency just hadn't told me, it's caused me a lot of stress.

OP posts:
Paulat2112 · 25/04/2016 11:59

How do you know it would put kids at risk though. As pp said it could have been an adult. Could be anything from having sex outdoors up a country lane to flashing on a night out.

FlyingElbows · 25/04/2016 11:59

I would be a bit worried about whether someone has broken a data protection law here. It's worth remembering that sex offender does not necessarily mean paedophile. Your agents have put you in a really difficult position now. If I was you I couldn't decide without further information but I'm not sure how you would get that or even if you can. It's a long shot and may not be applicable where you live but can you make an application to your local police for information about sex offenders? I know it can be done in some areas but I suspect you'd need a stronger reason than a house sale. Might be worth asking your solicitor if they can point you in the right direction?

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 25/04/2016 12:01

they have to live somewhere I guess, but if your conscience troubles you - can you assess the risk in any way

if you live in a field in the middle of nowhere- SELL!!!!

Itsmine · 25/04/2016 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whatevva · 25/04/2016 12:04

What does your solicitor say? Do they know why such a thing would have been declared?

I would be more worried about something like fraud.

Although, thinking about it and the person at the bottom of my garden, abusive behaviour and asbos and minor infringements of benefits and driving disqualifications - the extra money would not be worth the potential idiocy of a person like this or pay for the extra costs.... but she isn't nice either.

Original poster
TiffanyBonj · 25/04/2016 12:05

VimFuego I don't think I should tell anyone, I don't want to make her life difficult for no reason and some people will surely react like I did and just freak out.

Witsender, I didn't realise it was for all sexual offences, just assumed it was sexual offences against children

Thefitfatty that's brilliant, surely if the police think it's okay than she can't be that dangerous, I won't be renting, I'll be selling directly to her.

OP posts:
VimFuego101 · 25/04/2016 12:08

Sorry, I didn't mean you should tell your neighbour and ask them to put in a request! I was just thinking out loud about whether you could make the application yourself to ask for more info.

FatPaul · 25/04/2016 12:09

I'm another one who is a bit Shock that the agency has told the OP.

glueandstick · 25/04/2016 12:10

She's not in prison and can move house. She is married and has kids living with her.

I'd sell, say nothing and let her get on with her life. You don't know what it was for and seeing as she seems to be living a 'normal' life I would say let the past be the past. She should be able to put it behind her and carry on living.

It is not your place to play judge jury and executioner.

BadDoGooder · 25/04/2016 12:10

Second eveyone else saying just because she's on the register, it doesn't mean it was something truly awful.
There are loads of stories out there of people being arrested and going on the sex offenders register for peeing while drunk in public, or flashing.
Maybe she drunkenly groped someone or something. (not excusing it, jst saying on a scale from paedophile to pissing in an alley way, theres a myriad of reasons why)
I personally think putting someone on a register for flashing their boobs or having a pee is a massive step too far, there seems to be no nuance in the way they classify these things)
The fact that she has her children says to me it can't have been that terrible, or to do with children.

Plus I'm with FlyingElbows, I think there might be a data protection issue here too.

Thefitfatty · 25/04/2016 12:11

just assumed it was sexual offences against children

It's actually for anything from rape to voyeurism, and not just against children. How long she's on it will be dependent on the jail time she served.

Maybe she and her DH are into dogging?

carabos · 25/04/2016 12:11

I get that she would have to inform the police of a change of address, but don't understand why the information needs to be given to the estate agent and you Hmm. Presumably she's offered more than other potential buyers because people keep refusing to sell to her because she's a sex offender.

Bit tough if all she's done is get caught with her knickers down in a public place Confused and the rumour mill turns that into "a danger to children". Even if that were the case, it's worth remembering that it wouldn't be you who was endangering children as you're not a paedophile.

Original poster
TiffanyBonj · 25/04/2016 12:12

VimFuego, sorry, that was my fault for not understanding, I think I'll try and discreetly find out, but if I can't, I think I'll just sell.

Whatevva, Fraud? why would it be fraud?!

Haven't spoken to my solicitor yet, I'll be seeing him tomorrow but surely he'll just say sell as they've given the best offer.

OP posts:
yourmum1234 · 25/04/2016 12:12

i say you move in with her Smile

glueandstick · 25/04/2016 12:14

I didn't even know the name of the buyers for my last place. I didn't care who or what they were. I just paid the solicitor to do the paperwork and handed over the keys.

Paperbacked · 25/04/2016 12:15

I'm primarily puzzled about why she told the estate agents, and why they passed it on to you!