To think this is an unfair punishment?

[FaithLoveandHope]

DSD has swimming lessons every weekend partly because it's something she enjoys and means she gets to spend time with other DC her age and partly because swimming is a useful life skill. They cost a fair amount of money and it's DP who takes her, never her mum due to when they fall. However every time DSD has a bit of a strop her mum tells her she can't go swimming. This morning DSD was tired and grumpy and got banned from swimming again. It winds DP up no end but when he's literally told on the doorstep he can't say anything and just has to accept it as he won't have DSD playing them off against each other. AIBU / is DP BU to think this is unfair and there are so many other punishments she could use - or you know, she could try talking to her tired child. Thing is DSD was tired and grumpy this morning but as soon as DP had a proper chat with her she was okay. I could completely understand if she'd done something quite serious but not when it's just simple childlike tiredness. She's only 4.

How often do you and DP have to get DSD up and ready for school, Faith?

I do think the mother is using the wrong punishment here - it's not only unfair, it is not working. So lose/lose.

But getting grouchy children off to school can challenge even the best of us, and if you don't have to do that on a regular basis, I think perhaps you should be less sure of your opinions of how it could and should be achieved.

Sanity I'm not sure where I said I'm sure of my opinions of how to get her to school? Of course it is challenging and you deal with it however you can. My reference to school was more that obviously the grumpiness that Saturday morning wasn't just a one off and is more than likely a knock on effect from being tired from school.

Regarding the 4 yr old not being happy to leave in time for school, this is what you said OP ," there's an underlying issue which the mum will not listen to or do anything about" then a sad emoticon. Do you have cc of your own ,OP?

You're really reading too much into this amarmai Yes you were in agreement the punishment was unreasonable but the rest of your posts have been very critical and trying to pick fault with everything I do / think (or perceived to think).

Yup Faith, don't worry though, it's obvious that that's what she is doing.