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AIBU?

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MIL has accused me of cheating on DH!

102 replies

DillyDingDillyDong · 22/04/2016 16:00

I've been losing weight and trying to get my confidence up a bit with a new hair do, new clothes, make up, nails eyebrows etc. I have felt really frumpy since DS (1) was born so thought I'd try and give myself a boost.

It's really worked and I am starting to enjoy the occasional meet up with friends which I wouldn't do before. I used to make excuses as I felt like a fat mum! DH has noticed a change in me and even though he says that he loved me the was I was I know he likes the more confident me better. I'm more like the person I was when we first started going out.

I've joined the gym and got a personal trainer, let's call him Paul. Paul called me the other day when MIL was here and I went in the other room to answer. I made plans to see him at the gym the next day for a session. I came back in and MIL had clearly been trying to listen in. She asked who it was and I just said it was someone from the gym.

This weekend a friend of mine has booked last minute flights home and has arranged a last minute get together. DH was invited too but he has plans so I said I'd stay with DS and see the friend Sunday morning instead. DH decided to call MIL to see if she could have DS for a couple of hours on Saturday while we're both out. DH came back in and said in a really serious voice "I think we need to talk."

I started to worry and he said he'd spoken to MIL and she thinks I might be hiding something and if I am I should tell him now. I was a bit taken aback and couldn't think what he meant. He must have saw my worried face because he burst out laughing and apologised but said that MIL has just told him I had lied to her about speaking to a man named Paul and arranging to meet up with him while DH was in work. She said he should get evidence of me meeting this friend as she thinks there is something going on. He obviously to,d her she was being ridiculous and she said that its the only way to explain the sudden change in appearance and all these afternoons/nights out. (I've had maybe four over the last two months)

He said that he trusts me and he knows I'm not cheating on him and that he was annoyed that she had came to this conclusion without talking to either of us first, but also said that it isn't any of her business what I get up to anyway. She said she was just worried about him and DS and doesn't want to have to pick up the pieces when I leave.

DH was angry at first, but obviously couldn't resist winding me up, and now finds the whole thing so ridiculous it's funny. I am sat here fuming that she came to that conclusion and has accused me of cheating!

Would it be unreasonable for me to call her and give her a piece of my mind?

OP posts:
MrsLupo · 22/04/2016 16:57

Call me old fashioned but personally I think a male personal trainer for a married woman is inappropriate.

Hmm
kaitlinktm · 22/04/2016 16:59

As to this ...

To be honest, thinking from a mother's perspective, wouldn't we all do the same if we had a notion (however deranged/deluded it is) that our daughter in law is getting calls from other men, wouldn't we all mention it to our sons

No I wouldn't.

GoblinLittleOwl · 22/04/2016 16:59

I do wonder why you didn't say 'Oh, that was my trainer from the gym, I've got another session tomorrow and it is really paying off, don't you think?'
That said, I don't think what she did was well-intentioned, and I would be inclined to have a little talk about did she really think I was seeing someone else, when I was feeling calm and very grown-up.

DartmoorDoughnut · 22/04/2016 16:59

Fair dos Dilly your ILs are the gift that keeps on giving! Your DH is still a class act though Grin I love the idea of the two of you winding her up about this though

AnnieNoMouse · 22/04/2016 16:59

Centigrade you're old-fashioned.

Alfieisnoisy · 22/04/2016 17:01

centigrade you ARE old fashioned. Hope that helps.

If I attend a gym then I couldn't care less what sex a personal trainer is.

carabos · 22/04/2016 17:02

X-post with annie. I'm married and my PT is not only a man, but young enough to be my son AND gorgeous. I can't imagine why I haven't run away with him already Hmm.

CodyKing · 22/04/2016 17:05

Call me old fashioned but personally I think a male personal trainer for a married woman is inappropriate

Yes because all married woman can't keeps their knickers on!!

What utter rubbish!

AlleyCatandRastaMouse · 22/04/2016 17:07

Call me old fashioned but personally I think a male personal trainer for a married woman is inappropriate

Did personal trainers even exist in days of yore when you were in fashion Cent Grin

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 22/04/2016 17:12

Centigrade you're old-fashioned.

I smiled a bit at this and it did remind me of days when kids were really young and at nursery and sometimes on a friday we would finish early and go for a pint before picking the boys up as it was our only child free opportunity to feel normal (no parents / friends locally to babysit). He went to work on the monday and someone told him there was some gossip going around that he had been seen with a woman in the pub after work on friday which was shocking as he was married and had little kids. DH took great delight informing everyone that he was with his wife! he was actually really cross at both the assumption that having little kids meant his wife would be at home and not out or at work and that he would be having an affair.
similar thing happened when I lost loads of weight and he was seen with a 'different' woman Grin

Nanny0gg · 22/04/2016 17:14

Call me old fashioned but personally I think a male personal trainer for a married woman is inappropriate.

Suppose it was all right when I had one as I was in my fifties at the time.

Confused

How ridiculous.
Do you also put makeup on and change your dress before your husband comes home from work?

Hrhmevc · 22/04/2016 17:15

if this is the first time that happen I will have a heart to heart with husband first about this. I do think he handle this whole thing very well. If this happens often then tell MIL to shut up and mind her nose to her own business. Sorry I for one have a trouble maker MIL and has no more patience to trouble maker and drama queen MIL. I pray that everything works out well for you and your husband.

getyourfingeroutyournose · 22/04/2016 17:16

I haven't read all the comments but could you ask Paul to leave a really raunchy message about how he wants "what happened last night to happen again" etc and then end the message "see you next time MR DILLY" and make sure you play it in front of your mil. Or even if he leaves it for both of you. Sounds like there is plenty of fun to be had and your DH sounds like he loves a good wind up.

In all honesty, I'd be offended she felt that way and she does need to trust you. Also, you haven't married her, you married someone who is related to her. She should have no control over that relationship.

shovetheholly · 22/04/2016 17:16

You and your DH sound like a lovely, very strong and secure couple! Flowers

I think after a glass of wine and a hug, you'll see the funny side! Your MIL is bonkers!

curren · 22/04/2016 17:20

Call me old fashioned but personally I think a male personal trainer for a married woman is inappropriate.

Why? It's an honest question. Why is inappropriate?

roarfeckingroar · 22/04/2016 17:21

Not only do I have a male PT but I also have a male masseur who puts his hands all over me

sparechange · 22/04/2016 17:21

Call me old fashioned but personally I think a male personal trainer for a married woman is inappropriate.

Shock What on EARTH do you think personal training entails?

Topseyt · 22/04/2016 17:30

Call me old fashioned but personally I think a male personal trainer for a married woman is inappropriate.

What a load of utter bollocks. Confused I suppose though that you also think a female personal trainer for a married man is inappropriate. Or perhaps that personal trainers are inappropriate full stop.

OP, I would be furious at the interference. I probably wouldn't be able to stop myself from phoning her and ripping into her although I fully accept that it may be a hot headed way of handling it.

ADishBestEatenCold · 22/04/2016 17:32

"I'm also sure that Paul would join in with a bit of the fun too, I could get him to call the landline and leave a message for MIL to hear"

You would get a member of staff from the gym to step outside of his professional relationship with you and join in with the joke, the joke being that you were going to convince your Mil that you are having an affair with him???

That's not what Kelandry suggested (as far as I can see). She suggested it was your DH who was in on the 'wind up', with you making secret, suggestive (but 'accidentally' overhear-able by Mil) phone calls to your DH (who is on the other end of the line pretending to be 'a lover'). She suggested your DH give you a love bite, for you to pretend to try to hide from your Mil.

She didn't suggest you involve a third party ... a professional member of staff from the gym ... and, frankly, I don't think it would be in any way appropriate for you to ask him to!

squoosh · 22/04/2016 17:32

Call me old fashioned but personally I think a male personal trainer for a married woman is inappropriate.

Oi, old fashioned!

eurochick · 22/04/2016 17:33

How personal do you think a personal trainer gets ?

Fwiw, I have rarely felt less sexy than when being put through my paces, sweating, wobbling, etc, by my old personal trainer.

squoosh · 22/04/2016 17:33

Not only do I have a male PT but I also have a male masseur who puts his hands all over me

You filthy strumpet. You are hell bound.

Whatamuckingfuddle · 22/04/2016 17:38

And as for these male gynaecologists seeing married women Angry or is that ok? I don't quite understand the rules Confused

squoosh · 22/04/2016 17:41

Male gynaecologists are okay, but only as long as they wear a blind fold. The blind fold does make things slightly more hazardous for the patient but you can't put a price on modesty can you?

DillyDingDillyDong · 22/04/2016 17:48

I didn't go in to details about the phonecall because a) it was absolutely none of her business and b) DS had just woken up from his nap so I was only passing through the room.

How ridiculous that a married woman can't have a male PT! Biscuit

OP posts:
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