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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To refuse to watch friends ds play football

38 replies

SingingOutOfTune · 20/04/2016 23:39

AIBU to find absurd when a friend gets upset for me not being interested in going to watch her DS play football Sundays morning? She keeps inviting me even when I already mentioned that I don't even watch my own children play for more than 15minutes ?

OP posts:

CartwheelsAndGymRopes · 21/04/2016 06:45

YY silvercatowner - you beat me to it!

Yeahsure · 21/04/2016 06:49

I don't know why this has descended into a 'you're a bad mother if you don't watch your own kids play sport'. We know nothing about OP's life or parenting fgs! I had years of watching my kids do sport until I had enough then I completely stopped going - my dc are not traumatised!

OP is this your partner or a sibling as a previous pp asked? If not why in God's name would anyone expect you to watch their dc play football. Of course you're not being unreasonable.

I'd say literally nothing the next time it's brought up. Ignore, change the subject.

CoraPirbright · 21/04/2016 06:53

Is her child your godson? That is the only reason I could think of that she might be miffed that you never go. Otherwise . Why on earth would you go?! Watching my own children is bloody tedious (I go to watch as they are still quite young & I think they like the support) so there's no chance I would go to watch someone else's kid! She's a loon!

GinaBambino · 21/04/2016 06:54

U used to watch my eldest nephew play footie most weekends for about 7 years. Now I'm due a boy I've told DP I did my time going to footie so he can do this one which is fine by him! Plus means I can get in some studying or housework and it's good daddy and son time.
Op is not a 'bad parent' for not wanting to watch DS play, it's not everyone's cup of tea and normally that hour or so means parents can get other things done without a child following them round

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 21/04/2016 06:57

Yeahsure I don'tthink it has, has it? That was a lone voice although several posts referred back to it and disagreed.

MyLocal · 21/04/2016 07:18

YANBU, I detest football, I detest standing in the cold and when OH worked away I would sit in the car with a DD and read. I did however watch his martial arts classes twice a week for nine years!,,

I had a friend when mine were young who did well at football and she would also invite us all to watch him play at every opportunity .... Errr no thanks love, I would just reply that they knew i don't do football.

Uggh 90 minutes in the cold listening to soccer mums shouting "get in there Jordan" makes my blood run cold.

Yeahsure · 21/04/2016 07:22

Schwab yes maybe I am exaggerating

Also as an aside, all the stories you hear about kids football is true in my long experience. Abusive parents, abusive managers, screaming, shouting, fights. And that's in a naice area!!

Aeroflotgirl · 21/04/2016 07:22

Just say no, weekends are family times, strange woman.

flanjabelle · 21/04/2016 07:24

Is she a single mum? Not saying that all single.mum's would do this by a long mile, I'm just wondering if she is wishing she had someone to share these things with? It must be pretty miserable standing there alone every week.

However, yanbu at all, and she is expecting way too much.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 21/04/2016 08:03

Yeahsure kids football is very civilised here. The odd parent gets a bit too into it, but in quite a sweet (if loud) way - no swearing, no abuse, no fights in 6 years of having kids involved.

I absolutely love what being part of kids football team has done for one of my kids in particular, I am absolutely delighted he lives it so much and is part of a team - not only his little U9 (soon U 11 gulp) Team but the fact all the kids from the club have each other's backs. I am really happy the club is there and have so much respect for the volunteers who give up so much time to train the kids etc.

I'm just not interested in actually watching football - back in my late teens I dumped a boyfriend I otherwise rather liked because he spent too much time watching football and always wanted me to watch it too :o It's dull but I'm still glad my kid plays :o

Original poster

SingingOutOfTune · 21/04/2016 08:49

Thanks for all answers.
Good to know that I am not alone thinking that She is expecting a bit too much of me. By the way she is not single. I'd understand that. Xx

OP posts:

BackforGood · 21/04/2016 20:23

Not my experience at all Yeahsure.

I don't get the "having someone to share it with" line of thnking. If your dc plays a sport, then (if you are a person that wants to chat) the natural people to chat to are the other parents who are already there.

purplevase · 22/04/2016 08:28

I've got a feeling this discussion won't end well as I remember another discussion on here a few months ago where people who didn't watch their kids playing football were categorically told they were BAD PARENTS. Even if they eg took them swimming or cycling because they preferred that. If you don't like standing around in the cold and wet you are a BAD MUM. When my son played football I did go, but lots of the mums didn't, and I was quite pleased when I had an excuse not to go for some reason and his dad took him on his own. Also ds had training too and I always took him to that as dh was at work, so it was fine for him to go to the actual matches.

I was so pleased when my son stopped playing football and we could do parkrun instead. Yes we still get cold and wet sometimes but at least we're not standing around.

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