To refuse to watch friends ds play football

[SingingOutOfTune]

AIBU to find absurd when a friend gets upset for me not being interested in going to watch her DS play football Sundays morning? She keeps inviting me even when I already mentioned that I don't even watch my own children play for more than 15minutes ?

[purplevase]

I've got a feeling this discussion won't end well as I remember another discussion on here a few months ago where people who didn't watch their kids playing football were categorically told they were BAD PARENTS. Even if they eg took them swimming or cycling because they preferred that. If you don't like standing around in the cold and wet you are a BAD MUM. When my son played football I did go, but lots of the mums didn't, and I was quite pleased when I had an excuse not to go for some reason and his dad took him on his own. Also ds had training too and I always took him to that as dh was at work, so it was fine for him to go to the actual matches.

I was so pleased when my son stopped playing football and we could do parkrun instead. Yes we still get cold and wet sometimes but at least we're not standing around.

[BackforGood]

Not my experience at all Yeahsure.

I don't get the "having someone to share it with" line of thnking. If your dc plays a sport, then (if you are a person that wants to chat) the natural people to chat to are the other parents who are already there.

[SingingOutOfTune]

Thanks for all answers.
Good to know that I am not alone thinking that She is expecting a bit too much of me. By the way she is not single. I'd understand that. Xx

[Schwabischeweihnachtskanne]

Yeahsure kids football is very civilised here. The odd parent gets a bit too into it, but in quite a sweet (if loud) way - no swearing, no abuse, no fights in 6 years of having kids involved.

I absolutely love what being part of kids football team has done for one of my kids in particular, I am absolutely delighted he lives it so much and is part of a team - not only his little U9 (soon U 11 gulp) Team but the fact all the kids from the club have each other's backs. I am really happy the club is there and have so much respect for the volunteers who give up so much time to train the kids etc.

I'm just not interested in actually watching football - back in my late teens I dumped a boyfriend I otherwise rather liked because he spent too much time watching football and always wanted me to watch it too :o It's dull but I'm still glad my kid plays :o

[flanjabelle]

Is she a single mum? Not saying that all single.mum's would do this by a long mile, I'm just wondering if she is wishing she had someone to share these things with? It must be pretty miserable standing there alone every week.

However, yanbu at all, and she is expecting way too much.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Just say no, weekends are family times, strange woman.

[Yeahsure]

Schwab yes maybe I am exaggerating

Also as an aside, all the stories you hear about kids football is true in my long experience. Abusive parents, abusive managers, screaming, shouting, fights. And that's in a naice area!!

[MyLocal]

YANBU, I detest football, I detest standing in the cold and when OH worked away I would sit in the car with a DD and read. I did however watch his martial arts classes twice a week for nine years!,,

I had a friend when mine were young who did well at football and she would also invite us all to watch him play at every opportunity .... Errr no thanks love, I would just reply that they knew i don't do football.

Uggh 90 minutes in the cold listening to soccer mums shouting "get in there Jordan" makes my blood run cold.

[Schwabischeweihnachtskanne]

Yeahsure I don'tthink it has, has it? That was a lone voice although several posts referred back to it and disagreed.

[GinaBambino]

U used to watch my eldest nephew play footie most weekends for about 7 years. Now I'm due a boy I've told DP I did my time going to footie so he can do this one which is fine by him! Plus means I can get in some studying or housework and it's good daddy and son time.
Op is not a 'bad parent' for not wanting to watch DS play, it's not everyone's cup of tea and normally that hour or so means parents can get other things done without a child following them round

[CoraPirbright]

Is her child your godson? That is the only reason I could think of that she might be miffed that you never go. Otherwise . Why on earth would you go?! Watching my own children is bloody tedious (I go to watch as they are still quite young & I think they like the support) so there's no chance I would go to watch someone else's kid! She's a loon!

[Yeahsure]

I don't know why this has descended into a 'you're a bad mother if you don't watch your own kids play sport'. We know nothing about OP's life or parenting fgs! I had years of watching my kids do sport until I had enough then I completely stopped going - my dc are not traumatised!

OP is this your partner or a sibling as a previous pp asked? If not why in God's name would anyone expect you to watch their dc play football. Of course you're not being unreasonable.

I'd say literally nothing the next time it's brought up. Ignore, change the subject.

[CartwheelsAndGymRopes]

YY silvercatowner - you beat me to it!

[Kelandry]

Agree with pp who said she wants a buddy to chat to, or just a body to stand with her so she doesn't look like a billy no mates. Does she have issues with confidence?

[Schwabischeweihnachtskanne]

Wow!

I had two doing football at one point with both often playing in different places at the same time. We had a complicated car pool going... Now only one plays but he is quite obsessed - training 3 week evenings and usually a match at the weekend. He likes me to watch and I do if I'm on car pool driving duty as it usually isn't worth going elsewhere, and having seen a 10 year old goal keeper knocked out cold a couple of years ago I don't like him to have nobody there... but if a friend is doing the car pool I don't go (I work two weekends a month anyway and if I am home and not the driver I have other kids too!)

Does your friend's entire world revolve around her DS by any chance? Some people do seem to get the wonderfulness of their offspring a bit out of perspective... Some people are like that with other things too (expecting a high level of engagement with their own fanatical hobby or even pets).

[Silvercatowner]

Why don't you watch your own child for more than 15 mins?

Perhaps OPs kids aren't precious flowers who need mummy to watch their every move to feel validated?

[curren]

Is this friend your partner?

I get that she probably isn't. I just can't get my head round why anyone would even expect a friend to do this.

My kids compete At sport. I haven't even thought of inviting my friends to come and watch. I go (it's indoors), even I get bored.

[Clandestino]

Your friend is a loon.

[Janecc]

So you work and she wants you to give up 25% of your free time to watch her kid on a wet, windy pitch?!! Because you don't need to spend time with your family, clean, rest, do the washing etc. So sure yabu not to have stapled her mouth shut. ;))

[TippyTappyLappyToppy]

She's a loon. Its bad enough having to watch your own kids play tedious sports - why on earth would you give up precious weekend time to watch someone else's?

Is it that she's single and all the other kids are there with both parents or their dads? Does she feel like she needs a plus one?

[2rebecca]

I'm not a stand and watch kids do sport either. We are quite a sporty family but none of us much in to standing watching it. I have watched hockey games cycle races etc but often watch part of them unless important. The kids don't care and as they got older preferred not to be watched any way. They have no interest in watching us

[TheSolitaryWanderer]

Are you a teacher? Sometimes people expect batshit things of teachers, even when you aren't in school.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

How can she possibly imagine, even if her wildest batshit crazy dream was having its bat wildest batshit crazy dream, that. You'd want to go and watch her child play football on a Sunday Morning or all days.
You've got no qualms not watching your own child play football, well. You're certainly not going to have any qualms not watching her DS.

[VimFuego101]

What Charlesroi said.

[SingingOutOfTune]

Why fatmomma99? They know I love and admire them. We talk after the game about their wonderful goals I even understand the offside rule 😊 I don't think they need my eyes on them to know that are valued.