WIBU: stare-down with youth so they would get up and let elderly couple sit

[floral1]

Hi,
Ok I know this isn't exactly AIBU, more of a past one really.

Anyway, this morning I was on the 9am bus as usual but today it was really full and so a lot of people were standing. 2 stops on, an elderly couple get on the bus. The woman managed to hold a hand-bar thing but the man was, quite literally, struggling to stand and nearly falling over. I looked around at the nearest seats and on one side there was a woman with a pram with a baby- fair enough. Other side, a pair of youngsters who I've seen on the bus for a few months. I know they get off a few stops ahead (I'm presuming they are college students as there is a college very closeby to the stop).
So I practically stared at them till one of them caught my eye and then indicated to the other to get up. I then asked the elderly couple if they wanted to sit down- the man smiled and said thank you, nudged the woman and both sat down.

I then looked at the yongsters and said thank you. BUT WIBU to have asked them to have gotten up via a stare-down? I didn't want to say it to them (which would have been loud) as to not embarrass them but I was always told to let the elderly sit ut of respect.

P.S. I was also standing, close to the doors of the bus

I'm now wondering if I was being silly or not ... so dear MN, be the judges!

Op said the kids were regulars on the bus and get off a couple stops ahead, does it matter if they got up so the old man didn't break his hip even if they did have hidden disabilities (which i'm guessing they didn't)

Would you have done this "stare down" if they had been adults? Older than you?

To everyone mentionign about talkign to the youth- It was a packed bus, loud and to have talked to them would have meant shouting quite loudly and embarrassing them which I was trying to avoid doing

Nah! YABU at all! I have done similar recently and the 'yoofs' haven't batted an eyelid. Just got up, smiled at me and carried on their conversation.

They ain't horrid, in the main, just not used to being all that proactive, sometimes. A quick prod/catching of eye (and I prefer not verbal as they can then choose to ignore or take the credit for being nice) and they often respond very pleasantly.

RudeElf- yes I would have done so if I couldn't talk to them as the situation was hear.

When I said thank you, they had swapped places with the elderly couple and were within talking range as opposed to before

A simple "Excuse me are either of you able to stand for these elderly folk?" would have done. One is allowed to speak to the "youths" as if they're regular people and a polite enquiry covers hidden disabilities.

That. If you were able to glare them into submission, you'd have been able to actually talk to them.

The way I have dealt with this in the past was to say to the elderly person 'Do you need a seat?", or asked the bus in general "Can anyone give up their seat?"

It doesn't put people's backs up.

YWBU my nephew has Aspergers and very reluctantly uses public transport for college. He has someone travel with him and everything being 'just right' is crucial. Someone suggesting he give his seat up would probably upset him to the extent he'd have to get off the bus and probably go home

Don't assume just cos their young there's nothing else going on

Narp- thank you, I hadn't considered that at all! I will definitely take that on-board :)

I also agree that people generally respond with respect if you are respectful.

I'm really not sure what you want from this thread, other than people to agree with you?

Worra- I'm not asking for people to agree with me. As you can see there are different opinions. I was asking about what I did and to learn from it. There are suggestions here that I did not consider and know that I do, I will use them should such a situation arise again

yabu
just ask politely
I HATE passive agressive staring or tut-tut-ing

I probably wouldn't have stared them out, but a cheery general 'Anyone able to offer this gentleman a seat?' usually prompts about five people to leap up.

To be fair, Sometimes I'm in my own world and don't notice straightaway if someone needs a seat.

Wouldn't it have been easier to have just asked somebody who was sat closer to you?

Wierdsister- they were the closest people to me. The other was the woman with a pram

Well, you sound pretty certain that YWNBU, OP.

Iwantmymumshewouldbeproud- that's not what I was intending at all and I do apologise if that's how it comes across. I was wanting opinions so I know better for next time.
Also I'm not saying at all that the youth of today are necessarily bad- i work with many and tbh 99% of the youth I know are not at all in line with the 'stereotype' of youth that's been created

Dere- could you please explain how I seemed certain I WNU? Im i the middle and thats why I put it out otherwise why bother?

You shouldn't have glared, that's ruder than not offering a seat. Agree about hidden disabilities. Also, elderly people can ask if they need a seat, if I need one I will ask for one. They might have felt really embarrassed by someone glaring at another passenger on their behalf iyswim

OMG how dare you care about elderly folk and try to help them out.