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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"The Mummies on the Bus go chatter, chatter chatter" Really?

948 replies

BespokeStereophonicVinyl · 20/04/2016 13:45

So, I attend a regular nursery rhyme session at my local library and 'The Wheels on the Bus' now seems to comprise the above delight, together with the equally offensive "The Daddies on the bus go shush, shush, shush"

I'm really bristling at this example of everyday sexism. Yes, I am a mother, but I am also educated to Post Grad level and have a bunch of fairly heavyweight professional qualifications too. Prior to having DD, I held a senior position in a very male dominated field and really resent the implication that when a woman (who may or may not have children) speaks, it should be assumed that it is mere 'chatter'. I'm also really unhappy with the idea that a big manly man has to step in to shut up all these hysterically chattering women, otherwise where would the world be, eh? Hmm

AIBU to take this up with the library/council? I just don't want DD to face the same constant battle that I did, to be taken seriously in life just because she's a woman. I think we owe it to the next generation to challenge this trivialisation of women's opinions.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Lieveke77 · 22/04/2016 14:47

At my son's nursery: The mummy's say ' I love you' and the daddy's say 'Make no noise' I'm good with that Grin

cbigs · 22/04/2016 14:51

It'smine I completely agree. If that's why you want to do for whatever reason as a woman let me do it without me having to hear it's being forced on me by blah blah blah . If I'm happy doing it leave me to it etc .

BertrandRussell · 22/04/2016 14:52

I don't think anyone has said anything about why it's obviously important to remove racist overtones from children's songs but it's stupid to try to remove sexism..

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 22/04/2016 14:54

I don't think anyone has said anything about why it's obviously important to remove racist overtones from children's songs but it's stupid to try to remove sexism..

In this case the sexism has been added !

cbigs · 22/04/2016 14:59

I think the thing is it's just not sexist to me.... It really isn't... Confused

BertrandRussell · 22/04/2016 15:07

Have you ever heard of men "chattering"? Not "having a chat"- chattering. Birds, animals, children and women chatter. Men talk,mor have conversations or exchange information. Occasionally they have a chat. Never chatter.

falange · 22/04/2016 15:16

Ofgs lighten up. It doesn't matter. Or do I just think that because I'm an uneducated oik? Are we allowed opinions?

NeedACleverNN · 22/04/2016 15:18

bertrend why do you keep bringing up the same statement over and over again.

YES I have heard men and chatter in the same sentence.

Chatter is another word for talk! It is not sexist

Welliwooster · 22/04/2016 15:22

Jasonandy - I was also thinking of clap hands claps hands til daddy comes home (cos daddy's got pennies and mummy's got none)

I Sing this to my DD everyday as she loves clapping hands. It's just our history and I'll happily explain that many years ago mummy's didn't always go to work, but things are different today!

BertrandRussell · 22/04/2016 15:24

I keep bringing it up because it's the key point. And I certainly don't think I have ever heard about men "chattering". And it's pretty unusual to hear about men "gossiping" either. The trivial words always apply to women, men's words are more robust and serious.

MistressMerryWeather · 22/04/2016 15:25

Could it be a regional thing?

I'm from Belfast and have never heard women or men talking being referred to chattering, only groups of children.

Plenty here have said they have heard it associated with men and I can't see any reason to not believe them.

UmbongoUnchained · 22/04/2016 15:26

I've never heard the word chattering at all in real life. Only chatting, which is equally applied to both men and women.

NeedACleverNN · 22/04/2016 15:26

I don't know the clap song

We sing

Clap your hands, clap your hands, clap your hands like me
Clap your hands, clap your hands, clap your hands like me
Clap your hands, clap your hands, clap your hands like me
Clap them just like me

Then it's touch your shoulders and shake your head and back to clap your hands, only the last line becomes clap them quietly

BertrandRussell · 22/04/2016 15:27

"A group of men sat round the fire, chattering away"

Does that sound like a sentence you would commonly hear?

MistressMerryWeather · 22/04/2016 15:30

I don't think many people commonly hear that sentence about women either. :o

Maybe on a campsite?

mummytime · 22/04/2016 15:35

Well in the quacking Ducks song - the version I used to sing, only the 5th Duck came back (as a good obedient Duck should); and I believe the implication was all the other Ducklings met a grizzly ending.

Gossip doesn't have to be sexist - it initially referred to a godfather or godmother, and I think had a similar derivation to the word gospel.

Chatter is a great word because it is so onomatopoeic. "Chatter chatter chatter" sounds like people talking away on a bus, and probably ignoring everything else: like the babies crying.

The toddler group I went to insisted on a second verse to baa baa black sheep, which had a white sheep and a girl; obviously not realising that black wool was often more valuable than white.

Now I get far more upset about the very very common meme that girls can't do Maths. That one is harmful, that men or women chatter doesn't seem that bad.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/04/2016 15:59

I've never heard chatter in normal convosation either, it doesn't even sound right in the conext given above:

A group of men sat round the fire, chattering away

You don't normally hear this, not because it's men but because chattering doesn't fit.

A group of men sat round the fire, chatting away

Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/04/2016 16:00

"So cold my teeth are chattering"

cbigs · 22/04/2016 16:00

Why are chattering and gossiping seen as bad? And most of my female friends do gossip and arse talk about crap ( as well as talk about serious shit. ) on this particular bus journey they're banging on about sleb twaddle or whatever. So what?? Like another poster said daddy pig is always bumbling about like an absolute clown . So what? It's just hard work reading into everything.

BertrandRussell · 22/04/2016 16:01

But you say you've heard men and chattering is the same sentence?

Incidentally I bet if you put girls or women or ladies in mine nobody would think twice about it.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/04/2016 16:03

But you say you've heard men and chattering is the same sentence?

No i said i've never heard it at all.

I bet if you put girls or women or ladies in mine nobody would think twice about it.

"A bunch of women were chattering round a campfire"

It's still incorrect english that i doubt is really used anywhere.

3kidsandacat · 22/04/2016 16:03

OMG, i bet you want them to sing Baa Baa rainbow sheep and Jill and Mary went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. You managed to get your self a decent education so well done, now go and get a life.

BertrandRussell · 22/04/2016 16:04

" Like another poster said daddy pig is always bumbling about like an absolute clown . So what?" But that's wrong too if he is always portrayed as incompetent ant
Mummy pig as competent. Disclaimer- never seen it.

NeedACleverNN · 22/04/2016 16:10

Yes chattering doesn't make sense
But dh will regularly come home and say I was chatting away to Simon or I had a chat with Paul about...

It IS used for both sexes

PuppyMonkey · 22/04/2016 16:15

I don't like chatting or chattering on buses, I like to be left on my own to stare gormlessly out the window and have nobody come and try and converse with me in any way.

The mummies on the bus are antisocial antisocial antisocial