"The Mummies on the Bus go chatter, chatter chatter" Really?

[BespokeStereophonicVinyl]

So, I attend a regular nursery rhyme session at my local library and 'The Wheels on the Bus' now seems to comprise the above delight, together with the equally offensive "The Daddies on the bus go shush, shush, shush"

I'm really bristling at this example of everyday sexism. Yes, I am a mother, but I am also educated to Post Grad level and have a bunch of fairly heavyweight professional qualifications too. Prior to having DD, I held a senior position in a very male dominated field and really resent the implication that when a woman (who may or may not have children) speaks, it should be assumed that it is mere 'chatter'. I'm also really unhappy with the idea that a big manly man has to step in to shut up all these hysterically chattering women, otherwise where would the world be, eh?

AIBU to take this up with the library/council? I just don't want DD to face the same constant battle that I did, to be taken seriously in life just because she's a woman. I think we owe it to the next generation to challenge this trivialisation of women's opinions.

The father concerned did not get into the baby massage class, did complain, got the same kind of shit that men pointing out sexism get on MN (up to including the infamous 'it isn't sexism if its directed at men'. So, rather than deny DD the experience I took time off work and went. There was no 'woman' talk, there wasn't even any BF although god knows why a father couldn't see that happening.

Anyway its death by a thousand cuts...and wheels on the bus is one of those cuts. And it can be fixed so easily with a very minimal dressing (saying parents instead of mums or dads) that I can't quite believe anyone would object to changing it.

You hate buses ? That's vehicleist

This whole thread deserves a

627 posts picking apart and analysing a nursery rhyme.

Crikey. First world problem or what?

"got the same kind of shit that men pointing out sexism get on MN"

Sorry?

I used to run a pre-school music group and always used to sing that it was the children on the bus that chatter, or that bounce up and down: if we mentioned other people within the song, they were at the children's suggestions and so what was described would vary, so those lyrics aren't always used. Not that it would have bothered me if they were really - it just never occurred to me!

betrand there are usually people queueing up to tell men that whatever discrimination they have experienced is so negligible in the face of the suffering of women that they should just suck it up and count themselves lucky into the bargain.

A recent example was the 'is ladies night homophobic thread'. The OP was wrong, it was sexism not homophobia...but there were any number of people saying it wasn't even sexist to offer women lower prices than men...because male privilege....and that men should just suck up discrimination against them.

cbigs gender roles say that women are feminine and nurturing and all that comes with "traditional femininity". Clearly some women are feminine in some aspects. But women are punished when they do not conformed to these ideals - you see that all the time in the media, and you see that in the lack of women in top roles. And jobs that are traditionally "feminine" are not paid well. These are all the downsides of gender roles. In fact it literally makes you ill.

It's great that you are happy with what society expects of you. Plenty of us are not. It is not to do with whether you think you are a woman or not. It's how you are treated because you are a woman.

which is what DH got told when he said it was unfair to bar him from baby massage for the crime of owning a Y chromosome.

That was a really odd thread wasn't it Ice? lots of mentions of tampons IIRC. then it got deleted.

cbigs why is it your 'societal gender role' which correlates to you nattering and chattering more than DP. I identify as completely female but can't stand chatter but will happily enter discussion and debate or go build something like a a treehouse or a cake. What has any of that got to do with your gender r,e or is that how you define yourself. If so PLEASE don't use same definition for others.

Also recently on MN:

Any number of threads with a SAHM saying she is sick of her DH spending money on gifts for himself rather than sharing the excess cash around the family..

MN verdict: DH unreasonable, LTB

Thread in which WOHM says shes going to hide the expensive present she bought herself from her DH who is becoming SAHD.

MN verdict: DH unreasonable - DH should stop being lazy and get out there and provide for his family, where is the DH's self respect? Of course you should treat yourself hun, you earned the money!

spark yes - Id forgotten the tampons! The main thesis seemed to be that anyone who'd never had to buy a tampon should just put up with being discriminated against no matter what form that discrimination took. It was quite something.

Absolutely an irritating example of everyday sexism, OP! And anyone saying "find something real to complain about" I'd like to know what is more real than the subconscious conditioning into [oppressive, homogenous] rigid gender roles and Norms.

No, wheels on the bus probably doesn't turn our younglings into misogynist MRA types all on its own, but it is an example of overlooked sexism that is seemingly so ingrained in society that we don't usually question that the mothers are chatty and the fathers are, frankly, overbearing and rude.
But every little helps!

(NB: our version always sang that bit about the grannies, there were no mummies or daddies on the bus I grew up with, but we did name lots of different parts of the actual bus)

I would be quite happy to never hear The Wheels on the Bus ever again after this thread TBH whatever the words.

Icebeing over the years I've noticed things like that time and time again. It's sad.

Greys snap. People point out the drip, drip effect but aren't listened to. Then all the nay-sayers suddenly notice the bucket when it's full and cry out 'where the hell did that come from".
The 'drips' matter.

I didn't read the ladies night homophobia one, so I can't comment.

As for the bag buying lady- I seem to remember that there were plenty of people saying she was being unreasonable- and the man concerned was not so much a SAHD as unemployed!

#The mummies on the bus put prams in the wheeeeeelchair space, the wheelchair space, the wheeeeelchair space. The mummies on the bus put prams in the wheelchair space and expect the disabled to wait#

We were singing those words at nursery 33 years ago ffs, it's hardly something new!

I sing the mummies on the bus go kisses kisses kisses - not grammatically correct but my DS loves being smothered in kisses between words.
At my baby group they sing grannies go knit knit knit, and daddies say don't do that so if it is stereotyping I think it's across the board. Unless you sing about doing nothing on the bus/staring out the window/looking at phone I don't know if there will be a way of singing about mummies and daddies without offending someone.

Yep 'the people on the bus do nothing at all, all day long' is the only way forward for all this

No that won't work
What about people who identify as a cat?

Ds tells me that "the peoples" on the bus go chat chat chat, the daddies are "fast aleep" and the mummies go "don't do that" with a lot of finger wagging. It is unclear who the mummies are talking to!