To turn down a place at a hugely oversubscribed school?

[WillowB]

Apologies but more of a WWYD
Will try & keep it as brief as possible & I do appreciate this is a bit of a first world problem but I'm losing sleep over it so here goes...

DD is 4 starts school in Sept. (Have another DS 6 months) live in a fairly nice 4 bed house on a big newish housing estate which has an excellent primary 5 mins from our house all good so far. However the local primary is tiny and only takes 30 children each year and as a result there are hundreds of first choice applications for a few places. We live fairly close to the school and have been lucky enough to secure a place for DD in sept.

The local secondary is dire. In and out of special measures and pretty rough. I really don't like the prospect of sending DCs there so realistically we will have to move before the end of primary school into the catchment of a decent secondary. I hate the thought of this as I live our house & we can't afford anything as nice in 'better' areas but needs must.
With this in mind I'm pondering turning down the place at our local school and going for our second choice school in a nearby village. This is where we would move to eventually. On paper this school isn't as good in terms of results although I loved the feel & ethos when I looked round.

Just torn over whether I'm being crazy to turn down a place that at such a popular school for one that isn't quite as good but I would feel mean uprooting the DCs in 4 or 5 years if we waited to until Y4/Y5 to move DD when I could have sent them there from the off. (DS would have started school or be about to start by this point too)

Anyone been in a similar situation? Would love to hear what you did. I'm so useless with decisions! Thank you if you managed to read all of that!

How far away is the village and how soon would you be thinking of moving?
It's of course fine to turn down the place if you think the other school is the better choice. The fact that it's oversubscribed is irrelevant if it's not the right place for your family. Some other family will be overjoyed to take the place I'm sure!
I would set much store by 'results' either. If you liked the feel of the place then it's probably a good fit.

It's a catchment area where we live not feeder schools.
Taking on board the advice about moving children in year 4/5/6 do they make friends again easily at this age?

We turned down our first choice, oversubscribed primary to send our eldest to a primary that, at the time, required improvement (it's Ofsted 'good' now, for all that's worth). I don't regret it for a second. He's hugely happy there.

I wouldn't make any plans at the moment based on the secondary school in several years time. One change of HT, or even a few retirements and a change in senior management team and a school can completely change. Good schools can become crap and crap schools can become good.

I'd pick the primary school that is the best choice (location, results, ethos) right now and deal with secondary school in several years time.

The village is about 2 miles away. 15 minute drive max. I did like the other school. It had more of a 'family' feel. I guess my heart is swaying towards it but my head says I'm crazy not to take the place at the 'best' school. All of my friends are a bit flabbergasted 😳

You said in your OP you "loved the feel & ethos when I looked round" the second school.

So if they were equidistant from your house, wouldn't you have chosen that one anyway? Regardless of which is popular, go with one you feel happiest with.

I would take results with a pinch of salt at primary level too. Some schools are all about SATS, whereas others focus on turning out confident, well-rounded pupils. I know which I'd choose.

Yes your right I think I would. I guess I'm being swayed by the popularity of the first school.

In all honesty, do you understand how the admissions process works?

I would accept the place...

We live in a not so good secondary school area and quite a few families moved house before y6 to the catchment of better schools but they didn't take their children out of school, they just have to drive to school now rather than walk. Walking for 6 years then driving for 1 is surely easier than driving for 7 years.

I agree that planning for secondary for Reception aged kids is unwise - you won't know what the schools will be like by then.

I do think I would pick the school where the atmosphere feels right, and you like the head.

Have you had a visit in a school day to both, and asked the head to show you around? It can be telling to the nth degree.

I think you are really overthinking this.

Accept a place in the primary school you think is right for your daughter now (this may not be the "best"/ oversubscribed/ OFSTED outstanding school).

You are not going to be moving for quite some time (if at all, life plans can change). You can move her to a different primary or secondary when (if) you move house.

I moved my son during Primary (we re-located 250 miles away) and he was absolutely fine, kids are very resilient and up for an adventure! There are always a few leavers/ joiners every year and they always settle in really well. If it's a decent school, the school will help the settling in process e.g by "buddying" new kids up with others.

Accept the place. It's where you live now and it's sensible.

There are no guarantees re moving in your time frame; it is all conjecture and hope. And you might not be able to find a house in your preferred village when you want to move. I see this happen All.The.Time around here.

If you do in fact end up moving at some point in the future, changing schools isn't the big deal people make it out to be. It really isn't. Deal with it then.

Keep the local school place unless you are underwhelmed by the school and teachers!

I switched DD from local state infants to indie Junior for year 3. The infants school has always been oversubscribed (and was lovely) so we have loads of former classmates (and parents who became great friends) on our doorstep AND we have another new set of school friends at the other Junior. This is soo useful at weekends/holidays when potential playmates/babysitters are just a couple of minutes' walk away.

Obviously DD was a bit anxious to move, aged 7, but I almost wonder if it helps to be the "new girl"/"new parents". People bend over backwards to add DC to party invites and we drank a lot of coffee (and wine) that first term!

I guess we started thinking about seniors at year 2, only becasue we didn't fancy the local junior, but we will be reviewing whether the senior school is the "right fit" properly in year 5.

Obviously, if you hate your neighbours with a passion, then ignore everything I've written above.

I think you're overthinking the uprooting thing.

Massively oversubscribed primary feeding a "dire" secondary. I bet a good few of her classmates' families will do exactly what you're planning to do. There will be a well trodden path and a group of kids doing that every year, I bet.

peppa I'm aware of how the system works, I'm a reception teacher
I said up thread the second school is undersubscribed & I would ensure that a place was available there before relinquishing my existing place.
I accept that maybe I'm thinking way ahead re secondary schools but in our area the schools have been pretty consistent (either good or bad) over a long time.

Op there is something I dont understand (unsure if I missed it or how)

However you are considering moving your dd to a school a drive away because you may (or may not) eventually move to the town there.. In 4-5 years or so.

Is it a feeder school to the secondary you want?

As if not why not simply go with your current local school and in 4-5 years do the school run for a year or two the opposite way to what you are considering now?

I know you have a younger ds to consider too however you can make that choice (current school or village school) when it is time for him to go to school.

I have done a school run of 2.5 miles for 8 years it is doable I wont say it is not. However I also have to say that now almost a year out of having to do that journey I enjoy not doing it all the time.

would you really need to move your child in Yr 5/6 anyway? If you move to the village, and are nearer to a good secondary school, great - you can apply there for Year 7, and you can keep commuting back to the current primary school for the remaining years of primary. It's obviously close enough that you were thinking of doing the commute the other way round at the moment, so why not just do it for the last years of primary? It's probably fewer years of commute that way (although possibly not for your second child, though they might be at the village school by then anyway). Better to do the long commute when the child is in the older years rather than the younger, as they'll be more independent, friendships more established, fewer whole class parties and activities, less need for other people nearby to help take children to school if the other's ill, etc etc.. Good reasons to go to a very nearby school when they're little.

And children will make loads of new friends in secondary anyway, so it doesn't really matter that the child isn't in the school that most of the children will be coming from, especially if you get involved in some village social activities etc if possible to meet others who will be going to that secondary. The only possible problem might be if the secondary has specific named feeder schools.

but if you really don't like the nearby school, then that's another matter. I think being local counts for quite a lot though.

Yes it's a feeder school for the secondary we want so my thinking was she would be with peers. You're right through the drive is totally doable. What I suppose I don't particularly want is to be at some point dropping the children at two separate schools when DS starts in 4 yrs time.

Take the place!

A lot can happen in 6 yrs. And the local secondary can be turned around.

You can always move her later.

Sorry cross post crotchet. Backwards commute is probably easier as its on DHs way to work do that's something to think about

Willow if you're a reception teacher then presumably you know which school feels right for your kids, and how fast they can change - so what is your gut telling you to do? Not what everyone else is, just what you instinctively feel would be right for your child?

OP I don't think you're overthinking the secondary school issue, schools locally here too are consistent and imo, very little changes in 7 years. Yes a different head may be appointed but results are affected by the demographics which are unlikely to change in such a short space of time.

I agree that lots of your DD peers will probably do what you're considering and move between now and Yr 7 to get a place at the good secondary. Accept the place, and then move nearer to the good school at the end of Yr 5.

I've had enough and told DD she only needs to do her revision homework if she wants to. We are however revising together topics she feels less confident with.

We are on teacher number 5 since Christmas and the homework currently being set is horrendous and inconsistent. School policy states there will be a maximum of 1 hour of homework per week for Y6 which has worked well until the latest teacher arrived.

Week 1 - 3 SATS papers, read a whole chapter book and complete a written task, write out all multiplication and division facts up to 12x12 (five times), spellings and write a full biography with 5 days to complete everything. (Sent apology that DD was unable to complete the biography in time)

Week 2 - 2 SATS papers, topic based task, read a whole chapter book and complete a written task, write out all multiplication and division facts up to 12x12 (five times), spellings and 5 days to complete. Previous homework returned unmarked.

Weeks 3 & 4 no homework set, all previous work returned unmarked after returning it to school each week.

Week 5 no homework set on usual day but 26 SATS revision sheets sent home on last day of term, all to be completed on first day back after the holidays. We were on holiday for all but 2 days so only a little was completed. Once again this has been sent home unmarked and no homework is to be set this week.

I have heard that several parents have been given short shrift by the teacher for complaining and the head is refusing to talk to parents about it. I have told DD that if she tries I will be happy and in the grand scheme of things they don't really matter.

Oops sorry wrong thread!

sleep I feel that our local school is very results focused. Hence they are the best in the city. It has great facilities as its relatively new. By contrast the other school is Victorian but in contrast they seem to do a lot more of the of non academic stuff: sports, visits, charity events & are a really big part of the local community.

namechanged you hit the nail on the head regarding the demographic