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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not provide sparkling water

117 replies

crumbs12 · 18/04/2016 09:56

....for my MIL when she comes round?

She chooses not to drink ordinary tap water but prefers to drink the bottled stuff. I don't have a problem with this but when she comes round to our house she brings herself a bottle of sparkling water to have with lunch. AIBU to think this is a bit rude? We drink normal tap water and I would expect guests to follow suit when they eat with us at our house. Or should I be buying bottled water especially for the dragon, sorry, MIL?

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 18/04/2016 10:49

"but many people over a certain age aren't as used to drinking plain/tap water as the younger generation"

Eh? What do you think we drank before we were all conned into destroying the planet with bottled water?

gleegeek · 18/04/2016 10:49

YABU! We have a jar of instant coffee for MIL (no-one in our house drinks instant) and a bottle of Bells whiskey for my Dad(we drink single malt but he prefers the blended...) I like my guests to feel comfortable in my homeSmile

mishmash1979 · 18/04/2016 10:51

My dad doesn't like tap water and he only drinks San pelligrino; when he comes round for lunch I always make sure I have a small bottle in the fridge. He is a guest after all and one day I will be old and fussy and hope my kids make allowances for me too!!!

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 18/04/2016 10:52

Some people will find anything to get upset about! She's probably not as much of a dragon as you imagine her to be OP.

My parents have Marmite, chai tea bags and porridge in their house purely for my benefit when I come to stay. I bet your own friends and family have bought foods they know you will appreciate.

InternalMonologue · 18/04/2016 10:55

OF course YABU. It's basic manners to provide things you know your guests will enjoy if you know they're coming round. No one in my house drinks Irn Bru, but I keep a few tins of it in the fridge for if my dad ever pops in. I love my dad, and want him to be comfortable in my home.

What's the real issue?

Pogmella · 18/04/2016 10:56

Oh and when we get the wrong brand O whatever my MIL is all 'Oh no how embarrassing for you its not right.. ' whereas when she's got stuff for me specially and got it wrong (brie when I was pregnant with pfb) we've been very grateful and told her we'll enjoy it later. So maybe its not what she does its the way that she does it?!

VagueIdeas · 18/04/2016 10:56

You're being completely unreasonable.

She wants sparkling water and she brings it. That's rude? Far ruder to demand that you buy it for her, surely?

TheCrumpettyTree · 18/04/2016 10:57

I assume there's a massive back story here.

yorkshapudding · 18/04/2016 11:01

I have a very difficult relationship with my MIL but even I wouldn't begrudge her a bottle of fizzy water!

I wouldn't be offended if she bought her own but if I knew if was the only think she liked to drink I would try to make sure I had some in for her, it's only about 50p or something.

So does this mean that when guests come to your house you don't offer them a choice of drink at all? You just expect that they will drink tap water because that's all you drink yourselves? That does sound a bit odd and not very hospitable to be honest.

Notso · 18/04/2016 11:04

YABU, really U. I mostly drink tap water but would never expect guests to 'follow suit'. Nobody in our house takes sugar in hot drinks but we have it in for guests who do.
Are you this hostile to everyone or just your MIL?

AnotherPrickInTheWall · 18/04/2016 11:06

YABU and I think also very rude and thoughtless in not providing sparkling water for your guest.
It costs pennies ; hardly going to break the bank is it?

HostaFireandIce · 18/04/2016 11:06

YABU. She doesn't like want to drink tap water, but you won't provide the perfectly inexpensive drink that she prefers, which is unreasonable in itself. Then, to top that, you object to the fact that she brings her own drink with her because you refuse to provide it. Bizarre.

RidersOnTheStorm · 18/04/2016 11:07

YABU and mean.

Badders123 · 18/04/2016 11:08

Yabu
She brings her own preferred beverage with her.
What's the issue?
Other than you sound quite nasty?

blindsider · 18/04/2016 11:09

YABU - if she cares enough to bring her own then frankly you should want to make her feel comfortable it isn't actually putting you to any inconvenience at all.

I would expect guests to follow suit when they eat with us at our house

Would you extend this to vegetarians etc. ?

StayAChild · 18/04/2016 11:10

Eh? What do you think we drank before we were all conned into destroying the planet with bottled water?*

I honestly can't remember ever seeing my parents drinking a plain glass of water or encouraging us to. It was always flavoured with squash or tea. Good job we're better educated about hydration now.

StayAChild · 18/04/2016 11:12

Oops, bold fail.
That was to BertrandRussell

Original poster
crumbs12 · 18/04/2016 11:16

Well it looks as if I should get some fizzy water in! Fair enough. I suppose it is the fact that it is my MIL, as I would do it for others. As someone commented, it's a power thing with her, she silently judges everything we do particularly when it comes to food. She quietly turns her nose up to much of what we make (and before anyone asks, it's not even stuff that we know she doesn't eat!)

OP posts:
Jessbow · 18/04/2016 11:23

Sounds like you are about equal, turning you nose up at HER choices. At least she does it quietly.

Waltermittythesequel · 18/04/2016 11:24

Well, you're not exactly coming across as gracious and mannerly either, OP.

I can only imagine the thread she would start about you...

BertrandRussell · 18/04/2016 11:26

"It was always flavoured with squash or tea. Good job we're better educated about hydration now."

Oh, God, sorry. But I have to say it. Squash and tea are just as good as water. We have been conned by the bottled water industry to think they aren't.

Not so good for teeth and too much caffeine's a bad idea. But as far as hydration goes- fine.

Buglife · 18/04/2016 11:29

My tap water tastes like shit so I wouldn't mind if people dont want to drink it. When I have guests I buy in things my guests like. She knows you have never ever bought in some sparkling water for her so she has decided to bring her own, what is rude about that? I'd say it was a sign of your past rudeness in knowing that's what she likes to drink and refusing to get any for her. It seems like you are making some kind of stand when clearly most people wouldn't think twice about buying it in.

Birdsgottafly · 18/04/2016 11:31

I buy Coffee, Sugar, milk and non Vegeterian/Vegan foods/Wine/Drinks when I have guests, that's what you do for guests, or family that visit regularly.

We often bring stuff to other people's house based on likes and diet choices.

You've got a very strand attitude.

LovelyFriend · 18/04/2016 11:32

I have a friend whom comes around VERY occasionally and they only like to drink instant coffee. I don't drink instant coffee. So I buy some and keep it in the cupboard for them when they visit.

Another friend doesn't drink tea or coffee - she likes peppermint tea so I get some in for her so she can have a drink at my place.

This is an incredibly small deal.

Re the MIL and her snooty attitude towards your food, I would just cook food I & my family liked and was happy to serve to others and leave her to it - that issue falls firmly under the heading "you can't please everyone so please yourself".

SaucyJack · 18/04/2016 11:34

TBH OP- it sounds as though it's a 50/50 thing from where I'm sat.

She may well be a snob- but you sound very hair shirt and uptight with your "tap water or go thirsty" attitude. Are you on a tight budget?

There isn't a war on.....

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