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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not provide sparkling water

117 replies

crumbs12 · 18/04/2016 09:56

....for my MIL when she comes round?

She chooses not to drink ordinary tap water but prefers to drink the bottled stuff. I don't have a problem with this but when she comes round to our house she brings herself a bottle of sparkling water to have with lunch. AIBU to think this is a bit rude? We drink normal tap water and I would expect guests to follow suit when they eat with us at our house. Or should I be buying bottled water especially for the dragon, sorry, MIL?

OP posts:

DropYourSword · 18/04/2016 10:33

You say I don't have a problem with this but then go on to complain that you do have an issue with it.

When she comes round to our house she brings herself a bottle of sparkling water to have with lunch. What's wrong with that. It's what she prefers. She's not even expecting YOU to provide it.

AIBU to think this is a bit rude? We drink normal tap water and I would expect guests to follow suit when they eat with us at our house. Yes, you are, massively

Should I be buying bottled water especially for the dragon, sorry, MIL? Has she ever brought this up as an expectation?

Obviously we have no idea about any back story. But calling her a dragon for this makes you sound bloody awful. I hope this is actually a wind up, because you sound downright nasty based on this.

bakeoffcake · 18/04/2016 10:33

Yabvu, rude and contrary.

You know she doesn't like tap water yet moan about her bringing her own water.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 18/04/2016 10:34

Neither DH or I use sweeteners, but DFIL does. We keep some in the cupboard for him. YABVU and a bit of a cow tbh... She brings her own; she's not even expecting you to have any...

StayAChild · 18/04/2016 10:34

I don't know how old your MIL is, but many people over a certain age aren't as used to drinking plain/tap water as the younger generation. My MIL wouldn't dream of having a glass of tap water, or any water come to think of it.

Maybe the bottle of sparkling water makes lunch at yours more of a special occasion? I don't think she's rude if she's providing her own.
As pp's have said, all supermarkets sell large bottles for next to nothing - 20p for 2 litres at Sainsbury's.

sizeofalentil · 18/04/2016 10:34

I don't think your MIL can win here - you don't want to buy her some fizzy water and you get annoyed when she buys her own.

I'd get in paint stripper for my guests to drink if that was their tipple of choice. Catering to your guests (reasonable) needs is all part of being a good host.

JohnCheese · 18/04/2016 10:36

YABtotallyU

Sounds like she hasn't made a fuss about this and just brngs her own.
Like others have said, you would cater for other family/friends' taste, why not 17p on a bottle of water. It's nothing. Save your ire for something worth it.

Why does this irk you so much?

Waltermittythesequel · 18/04/2016 10:37

Don't be so ridiculous.

She drinks it. You don't/won't buy it. She brings it with her.

RortyCrankle · 18/04/2016 10:38

YABU and I don't blame her not drinking crappy tap water. I don't drink tea or coffee and often take a bottle of water with me when visiting a friend. What a big fuss over absolutely nothing.

cingolimama · 18/04/2016 10:41

Many people drink mineral water not in preference to tap water, but instead of alcohol, or coffee/tea. I know that when I'm cutting down on wine, it helps to have a slightly jolly drink with bubbles, rather than just plain tap water, with meals.

This is pretty unanimous OP. Stop being so petty and get some mineral water in for her next visit. I loathe vodka, but it was my MIL's favourite tipple. I always made sure I got her brand in, and even after twenty years of this, she always acted surprised and thankful. These small gestures go a long way.

diddl · 18/04/2016 10:41

You obviously do have a problem!

She brings her own!

How does that impact on you at all?

She knows that you don't have it, she prefers it so provides her own.

What a non issue!

SavoyCabbage · 18/04/2016 10:42

I keep a jar of my mum's favourite coffee in my cupboard for when she comes to see us. It wouldn't cross my mind not to really. It's just what you do.

My MIL brings her own tea bags when she stays as she lives abroad and you can't get her tea here.

scarednoob · 18/04/2016 10:42

YABU and a poor host

LuisSuarezTeeth · 18/04/2016 10:42

Water way to carry on

whois · 18/04/2016 10:43

So MIL likes sparking water, and knows you don't have any so brings her own. And you think SHE is rude? FFS don't be such a bitch.

OneWaySystemBlues · 18/04/2016 10:44

Why is it rude?! She doesn't want to put you to the trouble of buying it for her so she's bringing it herself! I would rather my guests be happy and enjoy themselves at my house. I'd hate for someone to feel like they have to eat or drink something they don't like for risk of offending me. How is it rude?!!!

MrsEricBana · 18/04/2016 10:45

I don't drink much alcohol. If we go to lunch somewhere we will take wine/hostess gift or whatever and it would not cross my mind that I was being rude if I also took a bottle of soft drink of my choice if I knew there wouldn't be any there (but if I didn't and there wasn't I would just drink what was on offer). Having said that I do find it odd if someone comes for tea/coffee then brings there own brand of tea as if the options I have aren't good enough (especially the person who came recently with a small tupperware box of powdered tea that I was instructed to brew in one pot then strain over into another pot for her to pour from. Erm what? )

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 18/04/2016 10:45

You can NOT be serious! She can bloody Well drink whatever she likes if she's laying for it. How is that rude. This is the most ridiculous thread iv ever read on here YABU.

LaContessaDiPlump · 18/04/2016 10:45

Do you not buy sparkling water for making Yorkshire puddings with?

I think Inertia needs to clarify this statement!

MrsEricBana · 18/04/2016 10:45

And yes I do think you should be a poxy bottle of sparkling water for her!

firesidechat · 18/04/2016 10:46

If this was a friend would you have the same problem?

I don't like tap water much as some areas of the country can have a terrible taste. I drink sparkling bottled water or filtered water. My daughter doesn't drink sparkling so when she comes to stay we make sure this is something else she does like in the house. My son in law doesn't like Earl Grey tea, which is the only tea we drink, so we always have some ordinary tea in the cupboard. It's part of being a good host.

YABU.

MrsEricBana · 18/04/2016 10:46

(sorry, don't get to use "poxy" much )

Pogmella · 18/04/2016 10:47

I get where you're coming from. My MIL only drinks still bottled water- and they live in an area where mineral water is produced so it certainly seems to me like an affectation. We also live in a different area with great water, but she still always brings bottled to the house, it feels like she doesn't want to be our guest?! She also has a constantly changing diet so always brings her own tea- it means we can't stock up as its aways a different type (we bought a load of fennel tea for her to arrive and announce she now only drank rooibos for example). Conversely when we go to theirs I'm urged to try all the foods they have (v.kindly) got in to accommodate my diet.

I just ignore it now, but it does feel like a power thing- she loves hosting but not visiting? Anyway, YAB (understandably) U

Agent160 · 18/04/2016 10:47

I usually have a glass of wine with my Sunday lunch. My MIL doesn't drink alcohol, is she being rude? As she is a guest, should she follow suit and be expected to drink wine too?!

YABU (massively). At Christmas I was pregnant, I wanted something 'different' or a 'treat' drink with my Christmas dinner/big family meals etc but couldn't drink. I wouldn't expect others to provide something special, so I took what I wanted. I think that's pretty standard.

MrsEricBana · 18/04/2016 10:48

Ah yes, the old Earl Grey conundrum. Can't stand the stuff myself but do keep it in for others.

scarednoob · 18/04/2016 10:48

Sparkling water in Yorkshire pudding is the new salt in chocolate:

goodfood.uktv.co.uk/recipe/yorkshire-pudding-5/

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