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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell a friend to sit somewhere else

86 replies

Stickerrocks · 17/04/2016 19:06

We've had a family season ticket for our football club for the last few years. We've taken DC's friend for the odd birthday treat & their family has tended to come along as well and go to a few other matches. Now it's season ticket renewal time & the other family are muttering about getting one for themselves.

AIBU to ask them not to get the free seats immediately next to us if they decide to go ahead? Although I'm friends with the mum & our DC are friends, we don't socialise together as families. We tend to take other family & friends with us regularly, which having them next to us would hinder. Most importantly, we love going to matches as a family, spending time with each other and chatting about stuff, and having them alongside us would cramp that. If I'm NBU, how can I say to go ahead and get a season ticket if you want to, just not next to us?

OP posts:

PegsPigs · 17/04/2016 19:55

At our Premier League club you can renew in your own seats up until a date then existing holders can move into any spare till a certain date then all seats become a free for all. No cost to swap but you may get worse ones.

MarthaMonkeynuts · 17/04/2016 19:56

Sometimes, it's better the devil you know. Someone else could take the next seats and be total arseholes!

CrotchetQuaverMinim · 17/04/2016 19:56

How would the seats next to you be available for new season-ticket-holders?

And if any seats are fair game, then why can't you buy new ones? Do you get some kind of discount for having had them for a long time? Why can't you just become 'new customers' like they are, and choose where you want to be? If it's because there is a waiting list, then it might be ages before they get to the top of it anyway.

CrotchetQuaverMinim · 17/04/2016 19:59

but I do understand why you want to swap. I can think of lots of circumstances where you want to be with friends on occasion, but not every time, and it would change the dynamic if you were, and change the dynamic of being able to invite others, too. I just don't think there's a good way of saying so, other than swapping your seats!

bloodyteenagers · 17/04/2016 20:02

You do realise that at some point someone could quite easily book the seats? If not them someone else.

expatinscotland · 17/04/2016 20:02

FGS. I've read it all now. Yes, ask them, they need to know what kind of person you are, this will spare them from you.

TheJiminyConjecture · 17/04/2016 20:04

What I don't understand is that if your family have seat 21,22,23 and 24 (for example) and there's no season ticket holder in 25 or 26 so you can bring friends and be all together, what's stopping a random couple buying season tickets for 25 &26? You might lose 'your' free seats anyway

TheNotoriousPMT · 17/04/2016 20:06

I just don't want to spend every weekend with them.

It's just a couple of hours. Put your children in between you as a buffer. (If they even choose those seats... Don't question it if they end up miles away and claim that "these were the only seats they could get, what a shame")

Original poster

Stickerrocks · 17/04/2016 20:11

Yes, we do get a hefty discount for staying put & we have complete strangers sitting next to us whenever we haven't booked extra seats first. Crochet has it spot on. I'm sure they're thinking exactly the same thing, but it's one of those awful dilemmas where nobody can make the first move for fear of offending anyone else. Anyway, as there's no nice way of blurting it out, I won't say a word.

OP posts:

DrivingMissLazy1 · 17/04/2016 20:13

It's an extreme reaction for the sake of 90 minutes every other week

FavaBeans · 17/04/2016 20:24

Would they know the numbers? Wouldn't they have to try and get them? You can't ask them not to but I do think it is rude if they do decide to do it off their own back.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 17/04/2016 20:29

Hahahaha!!! My favourite thread in a long time! I can't even be slightly annoyed at the question because it's bonkers!

bakeoffcake · 17/04/2016 20:36

Do the friends know you very well OP?

if so, I expect they won't want to sit next to you anyway

SaucyJack · 17/04/2016 20:38

I get it.

You're in that awful No Man's Land of knowing them too well to get away with ignoring them, but not knowing them well enough to have anything to say. The obligation to make small talk makes me want to slit my throat.

Quite honestly, I think your best solution is to start watching cricket matches instead.

Wafture · 17/04/2016 20:41

I clicked into the thread thinking how hurtful, but now I think the OP has a point.
If it were me, I might make up a white lie that Dhs brother has said he's going to get a family season ticket too and he's going to try for the seats next to yours. So, you are excited to have your in laws and these friends joining and it will be great because you'll see each other at the hospitality tent at half time.
Then BIL (or whoever is close but they don't personally know) can change his mind but you only mention it in August.

Original poster

Stickerrocks · 17/04/2016 20:45

Spot on Saucy. I shall get a bluffers guide to work out how the scoring works straight away!

OP posts:

BoomBoomsCousin · 17/04/2016 20:53

Can you afford to get a seat or two extra of the ones next to you for a year so that there won't be room for them and they'll get put somewhere else?

Then you'll automatically have extra tickets for guests as well as pushing them off elsewhere...

HostaFireandIce · 17/04/2016 20:54

If they're only 'muttering' about getting one, can't you just be a bit non-committal if they mention it, or say you haven't decided whether to renew yours this year, and hope that they get the hint?

3luckystars · 17/04/2016 20:56

You could buy the seats next to you too. It's a costly solution though.

I would ring the club an enquire about changing your own seats, it might not be as big a deal as you think. Ring tomorrow.

I do understand where you coming from and dont think what you are feeling is bad at all. Good luck.

Nydj · 17/04/2016 21:00

Could you mention how you covet seats just over there because of the better atmosphere/ view etc but would lose your discount but if you were applying for seats for the first time, that is definitely what you would do.

eddielizzard · 17/04/2016 21:03

well i think it'll look just as bad if you change your seats. you've had the same seats for the last few years i assume? so if you move they'll know it's because of them.

you're screwed basically.

start as you mean to go on and say a polite hello at the beginning, small pleasantries about game / weather and then studiously ignore for the rest of the night.

absolutely do invite other friends. it will be awkward at first but it'll settle down.

chances are they're thinking: we really want season tickets but what if stickerrocks wants us to sit next to her??? will she be offended if we buy seats elsewhere? for all you know there may be a fair amount of hand wringing on their side too. they've probably been desperate to buy tickets for years but didn't want to step on your toes.

leelu66 · 17/04/2016 21:03

Just say this if they rock up

Original poster

Stickerrocks · 17/04/2016 21:06

You're screwed basically Yep. I shall give myself my own !

OP posts:

holte · 17/04/2016 21:09

If it was me I'd say something - it would totally boil my pi** if someone I knew came and sat next to me at football for a season unless it was someone I really really liked. I have a few random people who come to some games and it totally changes the vibe - not necessarily in a bad way as such but its different to the normal routine so I get where you're coming from. When I was a kid and went with my Dad it used to get on my nerves sometimes if different people came.

I would say you regularly ask a shifting number of friends to use the seats near you and its a tradition you don't want to change. Football is all about tradition and a real fan would get that.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 17/04/2016 21:24

You could try suggesting they get seats much a little further along so that you can keep the seats between you, so you coukd both invite other friends to sit with you all.

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