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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would this bother you? Mil and baby

55 replies

Squashysbrother · 14/04/2016 12:19

My 10 month old says a few words, mama, baba, gaga. He's yet to say dada. He doesn't have a clue what he's saying he's just making sounds. I talk to him and encourage him to make all sounds.

Every single time we see mil and he says mama, mil says "dada", and keeps repeating and repeating "say dada, dada". In a tone of voice like "no, not mama, dada".

OP posts:
HeteronormativeHaybales · 14/04/2016 12:21

Rise above and ignore.

RainbowJack · 14/04/2016 12:24

Not really. She's trying to get him to say a new word.

Just ignore it.

scarednoob · 14/04/2016 12:25

The PP is correct.

However I would still feel like saying, "aaah, mama is his favourite" or something equally childish! I wouldn't do it. But I would fantasise about it.

scarednoob · 14/04/2016 12:26

There is nothing wrong with "say dada". It's the "not mama" that would annoy me!

BettyBi0 · 14/04/2016 12:27

Just grin and ignore it.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 14/04/2016 12:28

I have a 10 mo in the same stage and that would piss me right off. He doesn't know what he's saying so it doesn't mean he prefers mama or dada or whatever.

However it's the tone of voice/undercurrent she's using that would annoy me. I say 'mama, not dada!' to my baby cos he says dada but not mama 😄

Squashysbrother · 14/04/2016 12:29

It's not the say dada, it's that it's when ds is saying "mamama", she jumps in with "no dadada, dada".

It's probably childish of me to even notice, it's just I'm noticing lots of little things.

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 14/04/2016 12:30

There is nothing wrong with "say dada". It's the "not mama" that would annoy me!

But the OPs MIL hasnt actually said this, the OP is saying its her tone of voice that "implies" this...

Squashysbrother · 14/04/2016 12:32

She definitely is saying/meaning "dada not mama". It's difficult to explain a tone of voice on here, but literally every time he says mama she pipes up with the "dada, daaada".

OP posts:
DonkeyOaty · 14/04/2016 12:36

Kick her up the Arse

Not really

You need your husband on board to tackle her

MyFriendGoo52 · 14/04/2016 12:36

Oh grow up.

Seriously can't believe people get rankled over stuff like this, she's encouraging him to say a new word, not pointing him in the direction of the nearest haribo dealer ffs

RatherBeRiding · 14/04/2016 12:39

Yes it would piss me off. I would have to say something in a very cheery "just joking" kind of voice "Oh don't you like him saying Mama MIL?" Grin

pigsDOfly · 14/04/2016 12:40

I think it would be worse if every time he said mama she jumped in with grandma, say grandma.

oldjacksscrote · 14/04/2016 12:45

My MIL did this a lot, and constantly calls my dc daddy's boys, she even bought a pack of I Love My Daddy baby vests for ME for my birthday!

Don't rise to it, I did and we are now at war, it's not pleasant.

TimeToMuskUp · 14/04/2016 12:47

MIL taught DS2 to call me "not daddy" when he was little. It stuck for a while, too. Now he calls me by my Christian name whenever she's around. I think if he'd been the first child I'd have strangled her, but I'm confident enough in my relationships with the DCs that her fuckwittery doesn't have an impact on me except as something to laugh at.

I don't think she even realises she's being unkind; she genuinely sees DS2 as more 'hers'. She's always going "oh he gets that from me, he's definitely me" if he lunges across the room or shout-sings some ridiculous Coldplay lyrics. He gets his idiocy from her, for sure.

BalloonSlayer · 14/04/2016 12:48

You could play the innocent and say "Don't you want her calling you Nanna then, MIL?" as if you think she is saying an N rather than an M

plantsitter · 14/04/2016 12:49

Depends if you don't like her otherwise, as always. Can't you just laugh at her and say 'don't stop him saying mama!'?

If not, sounds like you're going to have to 'float over it' as my grandmother who found buddhism late in life used to say.

Fratelli · 14/04/2016 12:51

It's not hurting or harming anyone. She probably doesn't mean it badly. Besides you've probably got wayyyy more things to be thinking about I expect!

VagueIdeas · 14/04/2016 12:52

Haha. This WOULD rankle with me a bit. Why is she so bothered that her son isn't "represented" in her grandchild's babblings?

Sure, it's a bit petty to be annoyed, but it's petty to be trying to encourage "dada" and discourage "mama".

I understand though, because my MIL can't resist a piece of tacky crap or clothing that says "I LOVE MY DADDY" Grin

BertrandRussell · 14/04/2016 12:53

Honestly. This really is ridiculous!!!!

My dd was always saying to her baby brother "don't say mamma, say sissy!"

I realize now I should have put her in her place quick-sharp............

summerdreams · 14/04/2016 12:53

Would definitely piss me off.

BoomBoomsCousin · 14/04/2016 12:54

If she was irritating me in other ways then this would probably bug me too. But of itself it is an insignificant detail and getting hung up on it is a bit foolish. The exhaustion of looking after young children can make you foolish, but it's best to at least try not to give in to it.

VagueIdeas · 14/04/2016 12:54

MIL taught DS2 to call me "not daddy" when he was little. It stuck for a while, too. Now he calls me by my Christian name whenever she's around

Whoa! Shock

So he calls you Mum, but when MIL is around he uses your name? I actually think that's sad, that MIL has forced that name change in him.

Nicky333 · 14/04/2016 12:56

At this age, it's not words, it's babbling. The 'm' sound is easier to say than the 'd' sound due to the way it's formed in the mouth.

I'd be a bit annoyed though, as your MIL clearly sees it as words and she's possibly trying to undermine you.

LaConnerie · 14/04/2016 12:56

Depends on the backstory with MIL... and I assume from your post there is one Grin

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