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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you cry in front of the kids?

40 replies

PricklyHodgeheg · 13/04/2016 17:37

I'm PMTing, I've had a really shitty afternoon, followed by DP being a complete bellend by text (he's still at work). Now at home in tears and the kids are watching TV (because they just won't stop fighting).

I hate the DC to see me like this but I can't seem to get it together so I'm hiding upstairs. DD is 5 so she'll be asking questions if she sees me upset :-(

Do you ever cry in front of the kids?

OP posts:
newnameoldstart · 13/04/2016 17:40

I don't think I have! although I don't tend to cry much anyway. I don't think it's bad for children to see us dealing with emotions to a certain extent though.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/04/2016 17:41

I cry in front of DD. Sad film, GPs leaving to go home, kind of things.

I think it might be more of an issue that your partner is a bellend TBH.

tabulahrasa · 13/04/2016 17:42

Yes, I mean not on purpose or anything, but I cry at TV programmes nevermind real stuff, so it's a bit hard to avoid it sometimes and we've had things like bereavements or pets dying where I don't think it's a bad thing that they know I'm upset as well.

YoJesse · 13/04/2016 17:43

Yes, but I try to do it less and less as he grows up. Now 3. Tears for me usually come with frustration which can be a constant state with a toddler Grin

Maturecheddarcheese · 13/04/2016 17:44

I have, yes. It's just emotions, nothing to be ashamed of. I well up at sad TV all the time. DD just rolls her eyes at me. Are we supposed to pretend we aren't human?

MummyBex1985 · 13/04/2016 17:44

Only when my DM died, because I wanted them to understand and that grief is a normal reaction.

Other than that, no.

TweeterandtheMonkeyman · 13/04/2016 17:45

Yes I do sometimes -it's part of life isn't it? I would always explain WHY I am crying and try and pull myself to together asap. Recent examples I can think of include dropping something heavy on my toe, losing my phone, and reading Black Beauty to DD (I admit I am a wuss! Grin )

WhoKnowsWhereTheT1meGoes · 13/04/2016 17:46

Not really, but I very rarely cry at all, if I did I wouldn't mind the DCs seeing it provided I felt comfortable explaining why. It is ok to let them see you cry, that way they know it's normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Hope you feel better soon.

fieldfare · 13/04/2016 17:47

Yes I do and always have.
Showing emotion and also being empathetic about someone else's emotions is important, I'm happy to explain to my daughter that I'm sad/happy/in pain etc.

Thisisnotausername · 13/04/2016 17:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhMrBadger · 13/04/2016 17:47

Yes I do. I think it's important for my DCs to express emotions and not be afraid of doing so. I grew up in quite an emotionally cold home and felt uneasy around people expressing emotion.

MakingJudySmile · 13/04/2016 17:48

Twice. At funerals they were at with me. I'm not much of a crier.

MrsLupo · 13/04/2016 17:49

Absolutely! If you feel bad enough that you want/need to cry, then letting them see you do it is just like any other kind of coping strategy that you model for your kids. I'm not talking about uncontrolled hysteria, but if you're sad, upset, frustrated, etc, well, these are all emotions that are well within their range of experience and I'm sure they will understand only too well how you feel. Children's simple responses to tears can often be especially touching, too, and may make you feel better quicker than anything else!

superwormissuperstrong · 13/04/2016 17:51

Yes I do - i grew up in a house without tears or generally any emotions - it wasn't healthy...

ScarletForYa · 13/04/2016 17:51

Once, dd started crying about my Mam being dead. It caught me by surprise and I ended up crying.

There was nothing I could do it happened so fast. I pulled myself together quickly though.

I very rarely cry so I didn't realise it was going to happen.

Dd is nearly four so hadn't seen me crying before that. She did notice and was definitely slightly uneasy at the sight of it.

squeezed · 13/04/2016 17:53

Be kind to yourself, you're not a machine. I'm pregnant and I cry at the drop of the hat, even more than usual. I try to explain it to DD in a child appropriate way, be it happy or sad tears. We're a sensitive bunch in our little family so we make sure we talk about our emotions rather than the repression of the previous generations of our families.

curren · 13/04/2016 17:55

Depends on what is. No full on melt downs. But a film or a relative dying etc yes they have seen my cry.

I think it's fine for kids to see someone cry about something sad. Having a raging sobbing fit, not so much.

LineyReborn · 13/04/2016 17:57

Yes, I do. When they were young I would simply explain I was sad, and now they're older I tell them what I'm crying about.

I think bellend text messages should be outlawed. They cause so much misery.

FlyRussianUnicorn · 13/04/2016 18:05

Im mid 20s and have only seen my Mum cry properly once- at my grandfathers funeral a few weeks ago. Shes never really agreed with expressing emotion though so thats probably something to do with it.

PricklyHodgeheg · 13/04/2016 18:12

Thanks for your replies. We are good at talking about our emotions but I don't usually cry so was worried about worrying the DC. Very good point though that DC seeing me cry should be normal and OK.

DP has since called to apologise so feeling a bit better now x

OP posts:
Hopelass · 13/04/2016 18:16

I haven't been able to avoid it, now coming to the end of the first trimester of second pregnancy. Poor 2.5yo DS has seen me sobbing! Mainly at tv progs. He comes along and says "poor mummy, big tears" wipes my face and gives me a kiss Smile

getiton · 13/04/2016 18:21

No, I don't like anyone seeing me crying. And I don't cry much anyway, about once a decade really, I'm not an emotional person at all.

Gizlotsmum · 13/04/2016 18:32

Yes, through films, frustration, sadness and happiness. All part of perfectly normal emotions as far as I am concerned... They will give me cuddles and make me feel better as I would them

ShowOfHands · 13/04/2016 18:42

I don't cry but would do it in front of them if I felt the urge. I am honest about feeling sad or cross or frustrated. It's important they see me express emotions.

I do mumble and sniff through books sometimes. Goodnight Mr Tom was hard to read to DD.

Every time Bella does a kind thing, I sniffle.

DonutSpeakToMe · 13/04/2016 18:46

My parents never cried, as a result I cry every 5 minutes it seems!