to think this is a bit out of order?

[Bloodystupidusernamer00lz]

Dp has a son with his Exgf.

He sees DSS every other weekend and the last time DSS came over he was talking about how his mum had told him 'Daddy's money pays for our holidays'.

Dp pays maintainance and obviously is happy to pay this money for DSS etc but AIbu to think that its a bit out of order for DSS' mum to be telling her son that she is spending it on holidays?

I mean, I know you can't dictate what someone spends their maintainance on, nor should you be able to, but why did she have to talk to him (DSS) about it at all? He is 7, its not like he knows or cares what his maintainance money is spent on! It felt like some kind of a point was attempting to be made by her (not sure what?) because she knew that it would be repeated by DSS to Dp.

My advice would be to stop being grateful for the crumbs your X throws your way and fight for you and your children's entitlements.

He should be be doing half the work and paying his share. That should be a normal expectation. Why should you expect any less?

I think you should just admit yabu instead of trying to find reasons to convince people Yanbu.

You are contradicting yourself and coming across as bitter.

You can try to do something about your own situation by applying for money from your ex, being jealous of your dps ex won't help you one little bit, in fact it will make things worse for you in the long run if you think everything your dss says is a carefully planned plot to annoy you.

I appreciate that it isn't directly to do with me but it kind of is

Er - not it isn't - at all. And the sooner you get used to that, the sooner you will save yourself a whole lot of angst.

In the nicest possible way, smile and ignore. Children say random things.

Elderly I really doubt the £20 a month I might get would make much of a difference! But I see what you mean.

My Ex hasn't seen them at all for 6 months, chose to move hundreds of miles away and doesn't drive so absolutely will not do half the work of a parent, let alone paying for them and I can't force him to be there for them. That's his choice and he is the one really missing out. Obviously the dcs are missing out on a relationship with him too but that's his fault, I've tried and tried but he just isn't bothered.

I can admit that IABU, I really didn't see it as being a nice thing because of the way it was said but I can see from these responses that may be the way it was intended or that something was lost in the translation. I also didn't think about that Dinosaur, so yes it could have been overheard.

I think its just because I have a fuller knowledge of the relationship between Dp and his Ex so obviously my view is coloured by that. I don't believe that everything DSS says designed to annoy Dp but she does have a habit of rubbing certain things in Dp's face/guilt tripping Dp and sometimes DSS is used to do that.

What's wrong with saving £5 a week for your DC?

If my STBXOH had done this for the last three years, he wouldn't be ranting about the unfairness of not being able to afford a Cytech qualification for his son this year and blaming everyone else.

Or buy the DC premium bonds every year.

I mean buy premium bonds with the £5 a week child support, not your own money.

I think you need to save up blocks of a hundred quid and then buy them.

I had a time when my child support was withheld and I went to the then CSA who were very helpful, to be fair to them.