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Original poster

Organising own baby shower?

61 replies

Dozyoldtwonk · 12/04/2016 22:24

I've just received an invitation, not at all unlike a wedding invite with its shiny gold envelope & expensive eye roll paper, for a BABY SHOWER. So far, so normal maybe. But the mum-to-be has arranged it all herself, booked a venue, sent the invites (90, no less Hmm) & so on. Am I missing something here, or is this just fucking weird?

I'm not going, BTW, and have told her so just now. I have no problem with baby showers per se & have been to a fair few but I think this one takes the biscuit & screams too grabby. Or am I just being a whingebag killjoy DH thinks so

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 12/04/2016 23:43

Actually forget that.

I'd be scared shitless that I would be invited to the conceptions Shock Grin

whatsmyusername · 13/04/2016 00:12

😂 yes good point!

Sharesinpampers · 13/04/2016 00:31

My friends don't do baby showers so I'm perhaps out the loop on this one but if there's no gift list could it be she just fancies a big party before baby arrives?

Not quite as easy organising a party or enjoying fun with lots of friends when you're sleep deprived and all you really want to do is go to the loo without an audience Wink

Waypasttethersend · 13/04/2016 00:37

No sorry if you had a baby shower you don't get to be judgy about her organising her own, there is no difference. A lot of guests maybe but equally tacky and cringeworthy.

Penguinepenguins · 13/04/2016 00:43

😂😂 wora😂😂

notamummy10 · 13/04/2016 00:55

I like baby showers, I think it's nice that people can get together to celebrate the upcoming arrival.

I have read an article that states the mums/dads/parents-to-be don't usually organise the baby showers as it can look like they are asking people for gifts. But each to their own Smile

SenecaFalls · 13/04/2016 00:56

is this lady perhaps American and therefore that's why she has taken it a bit more seriously?

In the US, you don't host your own baby shower. In fact, where I live in the Southern US, it's even considered bad form for a family member to host it.

HerRoyalNotness · 13/04/2016 01:08

I've only been to 2, those of close friends ( in nth America) and I just found them very uncomfortable. They sat there and were embarrassed to have to open all the gifts in front of everyone so we could all ooh and aahh.

After having a baby that didn't come home from the hospital I'll never attend another.

If much rather invite people to wet baby's head after they're safely home where they should be.

armyofthree · 13/04/2016 02:01

It makes me sad that people think having a party to celebrate upcoming arrival is cringeworthy! Do you think that about hen dos as well?
Although it is a largely American tradition, other cultures also celebrate the impending birth of a baby and make a fuss of the mother-to-be e.g Indians.
I had two surprise baby showers arranged by different groups of friends and enjoyed them throughly. One was all friends/colleagues where we laughed through most of it -all the silly games had us in stitches. People got little bits and contributed to a hamper -presents like disposable pants and maternity pads (which don't cost a lot) were funny and useful.
The second was organised with family and close friends and made me feel so loved as my parents were there along with everyone else I'm close to. Lots of food, cake and photos with the bump reminded me of how much love there was for my baby even before he arrived. People wrote advice for the baby and made personalised vests with slogans and drawings in fabric pens that I will keep for a long time. Helped to ease nerves and showed me how much support I have. Smile

MadamDeathstare · 13/04/2016 03:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EponasWildDaughter · 13/04/2016 07:51

There is a very subtle difference between a party thrown simply to celebrate something and a party thrown to celebrate but with the main point being the guests bringing a present.

Baby showers - by their very name - showering with gifts - falls into the latter. Some folk see it as a bit naff.

meditrina · 13/04/2016 08:02

"It makes me sad that people think having a party to celebrate upcoming arrival is cringeworthy! Do you think that about hen dos as well?"

A party is not cringeworthy, but this thread is specifically about a shower (hosted by the honouree) not an ordinary party.

No, I don't think that of hen dos are cringeworthy, but I would think a bridal shower hosted by the bride is just as 'gimme stuff' as this.

OP isn't describing an invitation to a party, it is one to a shower That is a specific type of event where the whole purpose is to shower the honouree with gifts and that is why you should never host your own.

If the woman just wanted a party/celebration, that's what she should have invited people to.

LetThereBeCupcakes · 13/04/2016 08:11

Was there a poem? There really should have been a poem.

I would have hated the idea of a baby shower for me. But would love to go to one! I'm a bit weird..

Fratelli · 13/04/2016 08:17

I really don't like baby showers. I just feel like they are tempting fate. If something awful happened it would be even more awful if you had baby clothes etc everywhere. Presents once baby is born safely is much better imo. Baby showers are more for the mum anyway I suppose.

Cakescakescakes · 13/04/2016 08:22

I've only been to one which i ended up helping to organise. It was nice to see all our friends, we had DIY afternoon tea, and when we texted to invite people we said no presents but if people wanted to bring something could they only bring a small practical present for the baby worth a fiver or less. Worked really well as the mum to be ended up with loads of useful stuff like nappies, wipes, nappy bags, etc and it wasn't grabby at all.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 13/04/2016 08:51

It does sound grabby and excessive. They were never a 'thing' when I had my two, and being one of nature's worriers I always feel they are tempting Fate. I waited until dd had safely had her baby before charging straight off to the shops for lovely little baby things, although I did offer to buy anything she needed beforehand.

Personally I feel they are an American import we could do without, but I can see they may be a godsend to anyone short of money, provided they have plenty of friends who aren't.
You don't actually need very much for a very new baby. Time enough after the birth IMO for friends and family to chip in for what's wanted or needed.

Vampishtortoise · 13/04/2016 10:06

I'm 19 weeks pregnant and due in September. My concept of a baby shower is totally off, I was planning on having ano afternoon at mine with cakes mid August in the garden to celebrate finishing work and seeing my girl friends before the baby arrives. No games, definitely no presents expected. Just a lazy hopefully sunny afternoon with close friends and family. Wasn't even going to do invites, just a text around the week before. Considered doing it the (very small) church hall near my grandma's as this would be something she would like and could attend if not my garden but now I'm worried people might think I'm being grabby for presents

TooGood2BeFalse · 13/04/2016 10:12

I get SO uncomfortable opening presents in front of people..when I was little I used to run out of the room to open it and then come back to hug and say thank you because I was so worried my face wouldn't look pleased or grateful enough!! So baby shower would be a special kind of he'll for me, never had one.

But people are all different etc. It's up to her how she celebrates her impending arrival, as long as you are'nt being pressured into doing anything you don't want to, forget about it.

TooGood2BeFalse · 13/04/2016 10:12

Typos.Sorry.

specialsubject · 13/04/2016 10:17

Presents after the baby has arrived, not before. Because there are no guarantees. Tragically it has happened to someone on this thread, and it has happened in my extended family too.

EponasWildDaughter · 13/04/2016 10:23

vamp - in your case i would strictly avoid the words ''baby shower'', and just ask your mates round for a coffee in the sunshine (if we get any) just as you would if you weren't pregnant.

toogood - me too! I hated opening presents in front of everyone. I was an only child and got lots of presents from relatives who would gather together and all sit grinning at me while i was placed in the middle of the room to open them. Aaarrggh. I would have loved to have gone to another room to do it Grin

SugarMiceInTheRain · 13/04/2016 10:25

Bonkers! I'm a bit Hmm about baby showers as a tradition, though my colleagues very kindly arranged one without me knowing shortly before I went on ML with DC3 (ie I thought I was going to a staff meeting and when I turned up it was a baby shower, which was really sweet of them) The whole expectation of gifts etc strikes me as grabby. But they're a relatively recent thing and I'd only heard of the odd person doing them when I had DC 1 and 2.

AtAt · 13/04/2016 10:28

My dsis asked if I wanted a shower for dc2. I've said no, as I had one for dc1 (a surprise one) I have said I'm happy to go for afternoon tea with a group of close friends as a last hurrah before I'm tied to a newborn Smile but to make it clear I don't want gifts etc, as I just want to relax with my friends. They also kindly gave at my surprise shower, and I don't want them to feel they have to buy anything else.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 13/04/2016 10:34

I like the idea of having a bit of cake, I like the idea of friends helping out a mum to be with some practical gifts, having a baby is expensive but that's not what these 'showers' are about ime. I can't get outraged about being invited to a party yab a tiny bit u.

glasg0wmum · 13/04/2016 10:39

Quite proud that I've never been to a baby shower. I think they are very tacky and grabby and just yuk.

And OP - your "friend" is completely unreasonable.