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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel upset

26 replies

kappadelta · 12/04/2016 22:16

DH rang his dad earlier and came off the call really upset.FIL is in his seventies still very active but not great with technology.
He answered the phone and said oh no it's (husbands name) before putting the phone to his ear and greeting DH.
DH ended up in tears to me and I felt terrible for him.
I told him to call his dad back and tell him that what he had heard had upset DH but he refused which is fine as its his side of the family.

OP posts:
Creampastry · 12/04/2016 22:18

Isn't it a but OTT for your husband to be in tears with his DF saying oh no it's dh.... Not nice but in tears... Is there more of a backstory to this?

ConfuciousSayWhat · 12/04/2016 22:20

Is your son a needy individual who keeps ringing his dad? I go 'oh no its...' if I see my fil is ringing dh (tbh dh does aswell!) because he's so needy!

LindyHemming · 12/04/2016 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConfuciousSayWhat · 12/04/2016 22:20

Dh not son!

TheDuchessOfArbroathsHat · 12/04/2016 22:20

Who did he say it to? Was it possible the other person had said 'Oh, that'll be on the phone' and his answer was 'Oh, no, it's '?

Anyway - a complete breakdown is a bit OTT until he knows the circumstances.

ScarletForYa · 12/04/2016 22:22

I don't think it's OTT at all. His Dad was caught being really two faced about him. The poor guy. I'd be really hurt too.

Original poster
kappadelta · 12/04/2016 22:22

Not really a back story as such but FIL does seem to favour SIL and her child.
Things like this used to bother me when I was younger but I can't be bothered with it now.
I just don't like to see DH upset.

OP posts:
TheDuchessOfArbroathsHat · 12/04/2016 22:24

We don't know for sure that his Dad was being two faced about him do we? Confused

Only1scoop · 12/04/2016 22:26

It's a bit OTT crying. Is he usually this sensitive?

I caught a similar thing once with my DM....moaning about me on an answerphone message when she thought she'd hung up. I told her exactly what I'd heard.

raininginspringtime · 12/04/2016 22:26

Honestly it would upset me, yes. It was my stepmothers party trick mind you. I think I'd say something if I were you - or get DH to.

yougetme · 12/04/2016 22:26

Could it be joke of the "Oh no not HIM again" type ?

Without knowing if this is normal for the family or an abusive backstory its quite impossible to guess really . Being in tears after speaking to a parent isnt usual.

ScarletForYa · 12/04/2016 22:28

The Dad said 'oh no, it's ' before he realised he could be heard. Then proceeded to greet the son as normal.

That's two faced surely?

SmarterThanTheAverageBear16 · 12/04/2016 22:28

Unless your dh is under ten years old it's a way Ott reaction? Tears, fgs? Maybe that's why fil doesn't want to speak to him?

Bellyrub1980 · 12/04/2016 22:29

I agree that the words "0h no it's ....." could be taken in a few different ways.

To be honest, I've heard my Dad say this about my brother when he calls m. But I know for a fact that he absolutely adores him and their conversations. It's usually just that is saying it in a jokey way "oh bleeding 'eck look who it is now!" but actually quite happy iyswim?

Original poster
kappadelta · 12/04/2016 22:30

Scarlet - yes that's right.
Duchess - I don't think I said DH had a complete breakdown.
FIL is not really a jokey person he's very serious and straight laced.

OP posts:
PenelopePitstops · 12/04/2016 22:30

Wow your dh is sensitive

Original poster
kappadelta · 12/04/2016 22:32

Yes DH did come across as sensitive. I'm not sure why to be honest but to be fair I didn't have a problem with him being upset about it.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 12/04/2016 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

originalusernamefail · 12/04/2016 22:33

How was it said? Could FIL have been talking to someone else? I.e

MIL : Is that so and so on the phone, tell them hello!
FIL. : Oh no, it's DS

Original poster
kappadelta · 12/04/2016 22:34

FIL lives alone and DH said there wasn't anyone else there today.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 12/04/2016 22:37

Euph
Grin

AtSea1979 · 12/04/2016 22:37

I agree that maybe the FIL said something along lines of "oh that'll be Bob...oh no it's DH" to himself on his own or someone else. Why did your DH assume it was negative? There must be a huge backstory for tears and that assumption surely?

MyKingdomForBrie · 12/04/2016 22:41

Not sure why everyone is so scathing that he was upset. If I'd heard my mum say that about me I'd cry - some things trigger an emotional response, so what.

thecatfromjapan · 12/04/2016 22:50

I overheard my mother running me down to a friend one night - sending up my parenting; clothes; things I'd said - I was sad and angry. It was horrible. I left the next morning. And I had a bit of a private cry.

It's horrible if it's not a one off but part of a whole pattern of just not liking you very much.

He'll get over it. At some point he'll just think of his dad as a bit strange, and he'll aim to do better in his own parenting(which I am sure he will).

SmarterThanTheAverageBear16 · 12/04/2016 23:10

If there was noone there who was he talking to as he picked up the phone?