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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To mither about teenage DS going for walks ...

52 replies

UsedtobeFeckless · 10/04/2016 21:20

We live in the middle of nowhere. He says he's going to blow off some steam and disappears. He's 17 ... Is this normal? He doesn't smell of smoke, he's not meeting anyone, he seems quite himself when he comes back ... Thoughts?

OP posts:
BeStrongAndCourageous · 10/04/2016 22:15

Ooh, I used to spend hours walking on windswept beaches at that age, feeling all dramatic and intellectual Grin

BeStrongAndCourageous · 10/04/2016 22:16

I was also a teenage Goth, btw.

SmokingGun · 10/04/2016 22:21

If he's just come back from a school trip, he might have just wanted some time to himself. I genuinely enjoy my own company, after being forced to spend several days with a group of other kids I would want to do the same. Especially if you are like my DM was and want to chat about the trip, etc as soon as he walks through the door(that's not a critisim by the way, I can appreciate you may be happy to see him).

Molio · 10/04/2016 22:22

I'd say it was completely normal. My three boys all take off like that, either on foot (usually with the dog) or on a bike. Also, after the school trip doesn't surprise me at all - those coaches are hideously headache inducing. I definitely need air after one of those trips.

bettyberry · 10/04/2016 22:24

Normal. I used to do it all the time. Long walks from 14 onwards along the south devon coast path. I'd be gone a good few hours or more.

though one male friend confessed when he was very very drunk that he'd often go for a walk around the family farm so he could get some alone time which basically meant he found a spot to have a play away from his extended family. Blush

anyway. Its pretty normal. I'd do it now if I didn't have a kid. I get the urge to just go out and walk. I love running in the woods too. Its like therapy.

ClopySow · 10/04/2016 22:26

I thought something similar bestrong

All dramatic and interesting and different. Spending time with the universe because nobody understands you.

SaucyJack · 10/04/2016 22:27

He's a Goth?

He's probably set up a little stone altar to some minor God in a clearing in the woods.

Nuffin to worry about.... unless he manages to accidentally summon Pazuzu. Then you're in shit. Ectoplasm is a bugger to get out of the carpets.

AugustRose · 10/04/2016 22:38

DS is 19 and does this all the time, he has done since he was about 15, we also live in the middle of nowhere.

redwhiteandblueberry · 10/04/2016 22:39

i used to do this a lot as a teenager. Especially if I had just been in a crowded social environment then was back in my home again (with parents.) I just wanted to be alone, and the only way to do that and to control how long i could be alone for was by taking myself out in all weathers for walks.

goddessoftheharvest · 10/04/2016 22:42

Normal. I still do it now, though when I can't, I actually get quite grumpy

The odd sneaky fag was involved when I was a teen, but it never came to much

I'd be relieved at a teenage boy going for rural rambles. Better than having to constantly prise them off an xbox!

goddessoftheharvest · 10/04/2016 22:43

Also,maybe he's badger watching Grin teenage me did that too. With my fag and my Walkman

brittabot · 10/04/2016 22:55

Teenage me and my friend used to do lots of walks which consisted of going round the corner and sharing a cigarette.I'm sure my parents knew but we were just happy to be away from prying eyes! Maybe that's the situation here?

UsedtobeFeckless · 10/04/2016 23:38

Don't think there's fags involved - I can smell 'em a mile off since I gave up ... I suspect BeStrong might be right and he's swanning around in the gloom in his long coat and Fields -of-the-Nephelheim hat being all broody and magnificent for the benefit of the local badgers, who are probably lined up with their walkmans - Goth Watch? Grin

Thanks chaps - I feel better now Smile ( I will keep an eye out for Pazuzu, though, it's bad enough with the cats and their half eaten shrews ... )

OP posts:
infife · 10/04/2016 23:40

I grew up in the country and used to go for walks every day in good weather. On my own, often after dark. I just liked it. I still do. Lots of people do?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 10/04/2016 23:56

Ds does the same except he runs.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 10/04/2016 23:57

I walk everyday too.

saoirse31 · 11/04/2016 01:15

D's 16 goes for walks, perfectly normal!

groovergirl · 11/04/2016 03:38

Sounds like your DS is a mentally healthy individual. Who knows, he might work up to cross country running or geocaching.

Walking helped me deal with grief after my DM died. I love walking so much, I found a way to get paid to do it. I do paper rounds four times a week. These paper rounds funded my kitchen renovation and are now bankrolling my return to uni.

TippyTappyLappyToppy · 11/04/2016 03:46

He could just enjoy walking, some head space and being alone. One of my teens used to do this although he did have the decency to take the dog with him. They'd be gone for two hours sometimes and we really live in the middle of nowhere.

On the other hand it's possible that he's meeting a drug dealer. Just because you can't smell anything on him doesn't mean he hasn't bought it for later.

We used to have drug dealers meet regularly in a lay by near our house and it's the quietest most rural area imaginable.

Spandexpants007 · 11/04/2016 03:50

My eldest does this but is usually talking on the phone to his granny

OddSocksHighHeels · 11/04/2016 03:52

Oh I always used to love being out and wandering (still do!) - something about the combination of being outdoors and being away from people that might talk to you. It's good for mental peace I think. Nothing to panic about Smile

I did it once at 12/13 and my mum asked where I'd been as I'd said I wanted to go and buy chewing gum or something and was gone for an hour. She was convinced it was drugs and said no teen just wants to walk Grin I just felt cooped up! I'm sure there's nothing to worry about here either.

Junosmum · 11/04/2016 05:00

I used to do it at his age. Lived in the country side, middle of nowhere. Loved a long solitary walk when no horse was available. Leave him be. I now live in a city and miss that. Walking the pavements of suburbia just isn't the same.

TheSolitaryWanderer · 11/04/2016 07:26

Both of mine do this all the time and have done since their mid teens. They are now early 20s. DD could walk up to 5 miles. It;s always been fine, they like the alone time, the exercise and the calm. Doesn't matter to them if it's country or city, it's the walking and the solitude. No drugs, not even alcohol, and they're both very anti-smoking.
Just remind him to take his phone, if he needs reminding.

Molio · 11/04/2016 08:39

Also, if DC want to smoke, they'll smoke. Same with drugs. Almost certainly there's nothing you can do about it anyway. It doesn't mean they'll be lifelong smokers or addicted to drugs so it may be best not to worry.

My fourth boy didn't tend to take off like the others - each to their own.

UsedtobeFeckless · 11/04/2016 09:06

That does sort of fit, actually ... He'd just got off a coach after a delayed plane flight following a week away with the school. He likes people - he has lots of friends - but he definitely likes his own company too. I was hovering to hear all about it as well! Grin

Thanks for all the replies - I'm reassured - I was rather with Oddsocks mum but I'm happy to be wrong!

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