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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go travelling with 5yo

85 replies

Namechanger2468 · 10/04/2016 09:15

It would mean dd missing 2 terms of school. We (DH, DD and I) are moving house soon so we'd do it in between moving areas, so between different schools. I'd do schooling daily and do know what I'm doing there. Academically she'd be OK, though she would only have two of us to share ideas with, but the travel might compensate for that.

Anyone have experience of this? We go on lots of holidays so am not bothered about the travel side of it, it's more taking DD out of school and being away for an extended period and that effect on her.

OP posts:
Jw35 · 10/04/2016 13:23

Go go go! Have a fab time!

mmgirish · 10/04/2016 13:45

I would. I live in SE Asia and take my kids to interesting places all the time. They love temples, museums, tuktuks, boats and meeting new people.

AppleSetsSail · 10/04/2016 13:48

I wouldn't hesitate to do it. 5 year olds shouldn't be in formal full-time education anyway. She'll have a ball.

Witchend · 10/04/2016 14:06

I could have done it with dd2.
Dd1 liked the routine of school and hated to be out of the loop there even at that age.
Ds, even at 8yo, a week away is enough and then he wants to come home where he feels more secure in everything. Going from place to place would have really stressed him out.

But I don't think any of them would have got that much out such a big trip at that age. They were just as pleased to up the road to the park as yo an amazing day out. Particularly as what we as adults tend to think of as amazing sights, they are a bit "well the Eiffel Tower had a really fun toilet because it had a revolving door at the entrance..."

Also you need to check the situation with the schools. I suspect you won't be able to go on the waiting lists until you're back. If you're renting the house out (and is it likely you'll get such a short-term lease-depends on area often) you almost certainly can't use that address to go on the waiting list. And if you can, and a place comes up, round here it's often pretty much tell today start tomorrow, so you'll lose the place anyway, so you'll be in no better position if they put you on the list now as of you go on when you're back.

miacara02 · 10/04/2016 14:16

We just came back from travelling (Aus, Malaysia, Indonesia) with our 4 and 6 year old. They had the best time and an experience that will last a life time, they saw and experienced so many thing that not many will ever have the chance to. I'd definitely say do it, I'm so glad we did.

ImperialBlether · 10/04/2016 14:17

I wouldn't do it with a child that age. I don't think they'd get much from it, tbh. I think if you went on a couple of good holidays a year, your child would get far more from that and remember them, too.

SuburbanRhonda · 10/04/2016 14:33

maicara

Does the 4 year old really remember that much? My DD remembers very little about her life at that age, just before we went to live abroad. We often discuss it and there are snippets she remembers very clearly but not any experiences or how they made her feel at the time.

SuburbanRhonda · 10/04/2016 14:34

Sorry, just saw you only just got back. It would be interesting to know how much your 4 year old remembers in five years.

SuburbanRhonda · 10/04/2016 14:36

I'm still interested in why you've chosen to go now, OP. Especially as there are more people on here expressing reservations.

Original poster
Namechanger2468 · 10/04/2016 14:43

Well, as I said, we go away a lot. DD enjoys it, she's great with flights and likes meeting people. Enjoys trying new foods as long as they're not too spicy and we're moving so it just seems to make sense to do it now or possibly never.
I've been travelling a few times and always enjoyed it.
I'd got the sense that more people on here were in favour than expressing reservations.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechanger2468 · 10/04/2016 14:46

Regarding memories DD reckons she can remember seeing monkeys on holiday when she was just over 1 Yr old. Not sure, but she does seem to have more memories from holidays than from events at home.

OP posts:
cheapandcheerful · 10/04/2016 14:46

I wouldn't do it with a child that age. I don't think they'd get much from it, tbh.

Yes but she's not the only one going is she? I'm sure that the op and her dp would get a lot from it. And just because a child doesn't remember early experiences in their life, doesn't mean that they don't have an impact.

Original poster
Namechanger2468 · 10/04/2016 14:49

Like Witchend said, they can be very obscure. His morning over breakfast she was reminiscing:
"Yes, I remember when we went to France. That was when I did a very big poo."

OP posts:
cheapandcheerful · 10/04/2016 14:50

Name changer Grin

FuckSanta · 10/04/2016 14:52

Get similar from DD re numerous trips we've done since she was about 3. Their memories are incredible.

cheapandcheerful · 10/04/2016 14:54

When my dd was 3 we went back to a place we had been when she was 18mo. When she walked into the kitchen the first thing she said was 'Where has the high chair gone?"

We were Shock

CoyRoy · 10/04/2016 14:56

LOL! DS remembers a poo he did on holiday too! It was his biggest, so memorable, maybe!

Do it! We will be, once youngest is out of nappies. Will you have a blog?

www.facebook.com/groups/worldschoolers/?fref=ts - may be of interest.

Would you be interested in group travel? I think that is what we will hope to do on and off - even though I have two DC, there is an age gap of a few years so I am thinking it would be nice to have more families travelling in convoy!

Original poster
Namechanger2468 · 10/04/2016 15:50

Interesting CoyRoy.
Not sure about group travel, but it's always nice to hook up with people.

OP posts:
miacara02 · 10/04/2016 17:13

SuburbanRhonda

TBH even if the kids don't remember much, I still think it was a fantastic thing to do as a family, we all had such a great experience. It was an opportunity, we went all in, many people may not have done it for so many reasons but we have the rest of our life to live a "normal" life, why not have an adventure while we can, was our opinion. I do however understand other people's concerns, worries, fears but everyone has to do what's right for them and that was right for us.

SuburbanRhonda · 10/04/2016 17:16

Sorry, OP, I meant to write "there are more people on here now expressing reservations".

I agree the balance seems still in the "go" camp, but I would kick myself if I came back from an experience of a lifetime and then had to wait a year for my child to start back at school. Unless you're happy to home school, in which case it might it obviously wouldn't be a problem if there were no spaces in any of your local schools. And who knows, you could decide to home school forever once you're back.

OP, did you say what the situation is with your and your DP's jobs or did I miss that?

SuburbanRhonda · 10/04/2016 17:18

miacara

I didn't mean the fact that the children didn't remember the experience was a reason not to go.

But I'm surprised at the number of people who say the children will remember it forever. I personally don't think that's very likely. But as I say, not a reason not to go.

specialsubject · 10/04/2016 18:19

Seize the day, but...

  • she don't remember it
  • 10 countries, 8 months is exhausting
  • not worth renting out your house for 8 months.and have a plan if tenants don't leave.

So some tweaks needed.

whois · 10/04/2016 18:40

But I'm surprised at the number of people who say the children will remember it forever. I personally don't think that's very likely. But as I say, not a reason not to go.

We did a big family trip when I was 5 and a half (so admittedly a little older then the OPs daughter) and I remember LOADS from the trip on lots of the places we stopped off. The mountains, swimming in lakes, the friends we stayed with, doing drawings on a wet day, the wildlife, the forests, a water park we went to, a couple of the hotels.

whois · 10/04/2016 18:41

I do have a great memory for events tho, bad with facts and good with events :-) Suppose mum talked to me a lot about the trip afterwards which helps to cement the memories.

minipie · 10/04/2016 19:43

I think my caveats would be:

  • make sure the school situation is rock solid. You say you will rent your house out, some boroughs may not accept that as your residence - or you may find the catchments have moved on you - triple check and have a back up plan.
  • I'd do fewer countries and longer stays in each. I would try to stay in apartments or airbnbs for several weeks (4-6 weeks) at a time and do trips from there - even if that sometimes means backtracking geographically and doubling up on accommodation - rather than constantly moving and using hotels. That would give your DD more of a "home base" feeling which I agree with pp is pretty important for most kids.

I still would do it though!