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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go travelling with 5yo

85 replies

Namechanger2468 · 10/04/2016 09:15

It would mean dd missing 2 terms of school. We (DH, DD and I) are moving house soon so we'd do it in between moving areas, so between different schools. I'd do schooling daily and do know what I'm doing there. Academically she'd be OK, though she would only have two of us to share ideas with, but the travel might compensate for that.

Anyone have experience of this? We go on lots of holidays so am not bothered about the travel side of it, it's more taking DD out of school and being away for an extended period and that effect on her.

OP posts:

Original poster

Namechanger2468 · 10/04/2016 10:14

Yes, planning to buy a house then rent it out.

OP posts:

daisiesinthespring · 10/04/2016 10:14

Sounds incredible :) go for it.

SuburbanRhonda · 10/04/2016 10:16

That sounds sensible. What happens if they offer you a place while you're away?

Sorry to be your mum, just that we did this - lived abroad for three years - and came back with two school places to find in year R and year 3. It was touch and go!

Mistigri · 10/04/2016 10:17

You'd need to check the local rules about home schooling if you were planning to stay any length of time in one country. But at 5 she would be below compulsory school age in most countries anyway.

whois · 10/04/2016 10:26

You should totally go. What a fantastic opportunity.

You'll have to adjust your traveling expectations a bit - take longer in places and not too much hectic sightseeing. You'll need to do plenty of 'normal' things like playing on swings, playing on the beech etc.

herecomethepotatoes · 10/04/2016 10:30

Yes! It will be wonderful.

As for the socialising, encourage the confidence to join in with other children. A great skill. It's something ours have learnt living abroad.

You don't need to try to turn every activity into a faux-educational one but but do keep up numeracy and literacy at an appropriate level and with the necessary progression. Spend some time reading about how best to do so. Get the books on an iPad.

GabiSolis · 10/04/2016 10:40

I would definitely do this. You probably won't get another chance for an experience like this so unless you have responsibilities you can't walk away from for a short period, I would go without a second thought.

Yeahsure · 10/04/2016 10:43

I'd do it too and not worry about her missing school a jot. Sounds amazing.

BUT holidays are VERY different from travelling to this extent for this long. It can work out fantastically or it can be a nightmare, just make sure you are being realistic about the kind of people you, your child is and the dynamic and not romanticising the idea.

SuburbanRhonda · 10/04/2016 10:47

Just remember that everyone on here urging you to go because they would go without a second thought, has probably not done it themselves .

If you have a contingency in place in case there are no school places when you get back, that will be a huge weight of your mind.

Original poster

Namechanger2468 · 10/04/2016 10:47

Yeahsure how do you mean?

OP posts:

SuburbanRhonda · 10/04/2016 10:52

I'm genuinely interested to know why you've chosen to do this, OP - we moved for a job relocation.

Yeahsure · 10/04/2016 10:55

I mean it's a long time, a lot of travelling, a lot of different cultures and temperatures and time differences. Some people are great with all of that i.e. they are very laid back, they go with the flow, others don't. How do you and your dh communicate? Do you want the same thing out of this? Are you both night owls or early morning people? Is your daughter a good sleeper, can she sleep anywhere? Does she a good eater i.e. tries lots of different stuff?

I love my dh and my dds dearly but for e.g. they are all mad keen to go ski-ing, I've always said no as I know it wouldn't work - one hates the cold, one hates being 'stifled' by layers of clothes, I would worry myself sick about them on the harder slopes, my dh is the type who'd whiz off on his own and annoy the shit of me.

cariadlet · 10/04/2016 10:55

If you're confident that you can keep her on track with phonics and maths, then the academic side won't be a worry.

Whether she'd enjoy it really depends on your dd and only you can answer that. We went on a couple of 4 week holidays - backpacking around Asia - when my dd was that sort of age. We found that she was fine with travelling, but by the 4th week was missing her cuddly toys and was ready to go home.

I don't think the social aspect is a major concern. Mum and Dad are still really important to children that age. She'll enjoy just being with you. And the chances are you'll meet other children for her to play with.

What I would do is think seriously about how much travelling you can do. In your OP you said that she would miss 2 terms of schooling, which suggests that you won't be away for very long, but in a later post you had quite a long list of places that you'd love to visit.

I'd plan a rough itinerary before you go and make sure you have plenty of relaxing days in between the travelling days so that dd doesn't find it too tiring.

Original poster

Namechanger2468 · 10/04/2016 10:59

We have a list of roughly 10 countries and plan to go from late Dec or early Jan to late Aug, so about 8 months.

OP posts:

Voteforpedr0 · 10/04/2016 11:03

Go for it, I'm sure your daughter will learn more about cultures and humanity travelling around those exciting places than she would in the two terms of school. Enjoy

JoandMax · 10/04/2016 11:05

It does sound an amazing opportunity but definitely needs some serious thought.

A lot depends on the type of personality your DD has - one of my DC would be fine with this, as long as I'm there he's in his own happy world!! My eldest can only do about 4 weeks before he gets unsettled and wants to go home (we're expats and tried a long summer back in UK and haven't done it since and that was in familiar places!). He loves holidays and exciting places and is unfazed by different cultures and cuisines but loves to get home.

Also regarding school places double check you can apply while you have tenants in your house. We looked into it briefly and wouldn't have been able to apply until we'd moved back to UK - we're non-resident though so not sure if it was that or house situation.

Also think carefully about the social aspect, would you stay anywhere long enough for her to do a few weeks of activities so she gets time with other kids?

If all your answers are positive then go for it and have a brilliant time!

AnonymousBird · 10/04/2016 11:05

Educationally not a problem, but I have a friend (plus her DH) who did this with a 6 and 4 yo and it was unbelievably hard work. She went to the places you mention. People everywhere were fabulous and very welcoming of young children. But they found it hard going, nothing like the "trip of a lifetime" they had hoped.

They actually cut their trip short and were quite down about it all when they got back. She also realised once they returned that the children, youngest especially had no real understanding or recollection of the trip so it's not going to be a really special memory for them. They didn't do it on a shoestring so did allow themselves fairly comfortable accommodation and travel and so on and she still admitted it was a nightmare.

Don't underestimate what is involved, do some research carefully is my advice.

SuburbanRhonda · 10/04/2016 11:06

It's pointless to compare going travelling with being in school. Of course you will have different experiences. They are entirely different things

MrsJacksonAvery · 10/04/2016 11:09

With regard to your concern about socialising, I am a single parent to a 5yo. We travel a fair bit and I always find that if she goes a couple of days without interacting with other kids, she gets 'lively'. We got back from Australia last night and this trip, I ensured we had daily trips to a park (where she'd happily play with others and have a new BFF within 5mins), the beach or even soft play. Obviously, we do lots of child-friendly activities like the zoo/swimming etc but she needs that burst of playing with other kids.

Artandco · 10/04/2016 11:56

Name - we did a shorter trip of 10 weeks when ours were smaller. Both we under 2 years old when we went but eldest had no problems socialising. If we went out in the evening for example to a town square or beach restaurant there would always been a group of children varying from crawling age up to about 10 years who would all play together. Obviously Ds was only 18 months so he mainly babbled about and watched and kicked the odd ball but those around 5 years like your daughter seemed to play well together for the evenings.
You will meet people who are all in the area a couple of weeks so can arrange to meet up again whilst they are there.

I would maybe cut the number of countries though so you get enough time in each. We did 10 weeks and that was only travelling around Vietnam. So 10 countries in 7/8 months only leaves around 3 weeks in each. I would go to maybe 6 countries, and spend a good 6 weeks in each roughly so you have time to explore but also time to just wander and discover without an intense itinerary. Also means daughter can adapt to local culture and language a bit more before moving on

Artandco · 10/04/2016 12:00

Also re socialising, it's easier depending on your accomadation. Don't stay in a large hotel or private individual apartment for more than a few nights. Pick apartments or any acckmadation with a small number of others with a communal area like a small
Pool or terrace or similar. It means people gather together more and as more a huge amount of them you get to chat and mix easier.

Our best accomadation longer term is serviced appartments, with maybe 10-20 other appartments in block, with shared pool, and a bar! Means early eve in hot countries kids can play together in pool, then later on terraced or garden area whilst adults socialise at bar and can see them

JeanSeberg · 10/04/2016 12:16

www.lonelyplanet.com/family-travel

Hirosleaftunnel · 10/04/2016 12:34

Personally I wouldn't do it. We had to move to SE Asia for a job relocation when my DC was nearly 3. DC found the change of environment really, really difficult and toileting and eating went out of the window. A couple of years later and we still haven't got back on an even keel yet. Keeping little ones entertained, fed and clean is a challenge at the best of times. Think of who you are really doing it for. Taking a young child out of a stable, routine environment early on is a mistake in my opinion. If we had our time again we would stay in the UK. My parents took me travelling when I was 10 for 3 months and it really made a difference to my outlook and future decisions. I'd wait if I were you.

stitch10yearson · 10/04/2016 12:37

Yes, but I think I would make sure I did it legally. I think you have to do something to tell them that you are home schooling her. Children have a right to an education (human right) which usually means going to school, but doesnt have to mean that. Just get the correct info

MidniteScribbler · 10/04/2016 12:47

I would go for it. I'm currently at the point of considering whether it is feasible to go away travelling with DS. He is 4, ready to start school next year, and I'm able to go to many countries with my credentials. I do own a holiday house in another location which I would like to move to permanently, but I really think that some years travelling would be a great option. DS is young enough to adapt easily to schooling in various countries, and it would be a great experience. I'm still trying to make the decision, but I'm definitely leaning towards the travel option.

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