AIBU to thing I shouldn't have to see or touch it?

[foranangel]

First time posting on this topic so be kind. Sorry if this is TMI but its what I am experiencing at the moment.

We have fallen on hard times recently so I have swallowed my pride and have picked up a bit of cleaning in our local village. It started off with one friend who passed my details to another friend etc etc. I am now working about 15 hours a week while my little ones are at school.

There is one lady I work for who appears to be struggling a little. I go there once a fortnight for 3 hours and typically there will be a weeks worth of washing up to get through before I get to do anything else. The place is a tip I spend a fair amount of time tidying and picking toys etc off the floors so I can get the hoover round - and thats fine she is paying me after all! But I am struggling with the dirty (poo) nappies lying round the rooms I am cleaning, the used tampons thrown at the bin rather than in the bin, used condoms in various waste paper bins throughout the house, and the worst today...as I peel back her sheets to change the bed linen.. an enormous recently used dildo! I mean - I understand that it is their private bedroom etc etc - but AIBU to think I shouldn't have to see it, let alone touch it (to obviously move it so I can make the bed)? Couldn't it be discreetly placed in a drawer so I don't have to see it or move it? I just think it is too much.

To be honest I don't think I can go back but I am wondering what I can say. Obviously all the families I work for are connected in some way and I couldn't say I had found a job in my field as she would know that I was still with the other families. I thought about saying I had hurt my back but of course I would still be working for the other families so that wouldn't work. I wouldn't bring up why really as don't want to cause embarrassment.

They are seemingly otherwise nice people although her son has made a few comments that she has just let go like "make sure you clean my bedroom really well." He is 4 so I let it go to but WWYD?

In a previous life we had cleaners and would clean and tidy before they arrived so I realise I might be expecting too much but AIBU???

This is awful! Nurses are not expected to deal with such things without wearing 'PPE's -personal protective equipment! You are dealing with other people's body fluids, of various descriptions. This is not acceptable.

Leave, there have been some good suggestions upthread. I liked the one where you are trying to cut your hours, then if you get more work, she will hopefully now notice, or if challenged, you can say someone else cut hours.

Good luck!

Disgusting.

We have a cleaner. She performs a service for us. We pay her appropriately and hopefully create mutual respect by ensuring the house is orderly enough to allow her to work unhindered.

These people are treating you like some sort of subhuman.

Tell her you won't be continuing, and why.

YANBU but maybe you need to tell her the truth. Someone has to. Those kids are living in a health hazard. Someone needs to tell her to her face before someone else decides to call social services behind her back.

You mean this isn't actually a wind up?!

Dirty fuckers! I'd leave asap and tell them why in a note.

I'd cite 'personal reasons' and quit the job. I'd also be giving the health visitor a ring if a child lives there amongst dirty nappies, condoms and dildos. Poor kid, and the mum may be just a lazy minger or she may need help.

That's awful, they obviously have no respect for you. Is it possible for you to say that you can only take on weekly work and that you've had to stop fortnightly visits, or that you've had to reduce your hours so she doesn't get confused as to why you're still cleaning for others.

Please don't go back to that disgusting hovel and clean for such an ungrateful pig.

We have a cleaner. My house isn't always the tidiest but I always apologise profusely and NEVER leave anything unhygienic anywhere.

We have an understanding - if it's a bit messy she will tidy up and do the fundamentally important cleaning - deep clean kitchen/bathroom/loo plus floors and dusting throughout. If it's tidy then she does the fundamentals plus whatever she feels needs doing - so skirting boards, windows, sofas - whatever.

This works for us because the house is always at an acceptable standard of cleanliness - and the additional stuff gets done when there is time. She also feeds and fusses my (greedy) cat even though she'll have had breakfast already.

I love my cleaner, I respect her and appreciate what she does for us. I'm flexible with her hours - she has children, if she has to leave early one day she always makes the time back up the following visit. I find a bit of mutual flexibility and respect goes a very long way.

Ugh! And I say that as a bit of a slob myself. YADNBU, OP, and I don't think you should feel the need to think up an excuse that spares her feelings. I don't see it as a mental health issue either, some people are just like that. Gross.

YABU to have cleaned up in advance of your own cleaner, though - assuming it's not your own tampons and dildos you're referring to.

I also think a vague excuse is better. Something like personal reasons. If you say it's a timing problem then she may suggest a different time or day which would be really awkward.

Really bad for the OP I know but far worse for the poor children living in amongst all that.What you've described OP is not a normal mess I'd honestly be ringing SS,it could be the Mum is having a really hard time with her MH and she needs help or it could be that the children are the one's that need the help.

I couldn't just leave it,I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something bad happened to one of the children.

Nightwanderer but she's fully booked on all the other days!

You have two options

1. Confront her and tell her that she needs to make sure that the offending objects are removed prior to your arrival and then carry on cleaning for her if she does this .

If she gets shirty with you about it , mention that none of your other clients would ever dream of expecting you to deal with these things .

1. Hand your notice in

I've been a cleaner and my stock answers for shit like this were:

• I can't deal with anything to do with bodily fluids. Hygiene issues.

If she doesn't sort it then pile it up with a dustpan and brush and leave it with a post it explaining why

• the house has to be tidy in order to clean effectively. I can't tidy. I don't want to put things away wrong and then be accused that they're missing.

OP Your employer must have very little self-respect. Most people would cringe at the thought of an outsider seeing the stuff you mention.
Has she employed a cleaner before? Perhaps she has no idea what is expected of her.
Well, you are not there to re-educate her so if you can find a tidier client I should move on asap.

Thanks guys. I think I am just going to tell her I am cutting back on my working hours as someone suggested.

Yuck yuck yuck. That's horrible. And I'm not house proud at all. I used to have a cleaner but dont anymore for a few reasons including that it took me too long to tidy up before she came. There were certain things I never expected my cleaner to do - like empty the nappy bin (that has a liner). I'd never expect someone else to clean up used condoms, tampons and poopy nappies, and what kind of person leaves them lying around in the first place?? Grim. Tell her you are cutting your hours if that's easier for you, or just tell her you and her have different ideas about the cleaning you are there to do!