Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Grrrr no dinner

57 replies

inlovewithhubby · 06/04/2016 18:10

I've been away with the kids at my folks for a few days. Hubby has been home alone, admittedly working and had a big work day today but had most of a weekend day to himself plus evenings out having beers while we've been gone, which I encourage. However, I back this afternoon to no food, no bread for kids packed lunches (they have an activity day tomorrow which to be fair he wouldn't know about) and nothing planned for dinner for us. We aren't an 'open the fridge and see what's there' family. I plan nice dinners every evening (I work far fewer hours than him so I see that as my job), often different meals from kids primarily because he's a fussy bastard (i say that with love) . Aibu to expect that he'd at least have planned dinner for the evening we come home?

Sitting in supermarket car park seething (I do not say this with love). Am also on period so could well be being unreasonable but I don't think i am?

He hates chicken. Might buy chicken.

OP posts:

asdad · 06/04/2016 18:25

By not sorting this out, hasnt he just volunteered to take you out for dinner?

cuntycowfacemonkey · 06/04/2016 18:28

Yes just go out for dinner (without him)

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/04/2016 18:30

Yanbu.

only an idiot would not think his kids might actually need feeding upon their return.

lazy and selfish.

witsender · 06/04/2016 18:31

Yanbu. What was he planning on eating? Or was he waiting for service? Order a take away.

PPie10 · 06/04/2016 18:32

Yanbu, did you not speak to each other before you arrived about what's the plans for supper?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 06/04/2016 18:33

But extreme Giles! Tbh, I think you're making something out nothing op.

AlisonWunderland · 06/04/2016 18:34

Yep.
Order a takeaway for all the family.
Order chicken for him.
Win - win

PurpleWithRed · 06/04/2016 18:40

Surely he intended to take you all out? or get a takeaway? What a thoughtful man!

Original poster

inlovewithhubby · 06/04/2016 18:41

I've just bought staples and told him he's picking up a takeaway. Good idea. It does make me wonder whether he thinks dinner arrives care of the food fairies usually. I'm taking off my bloody wings.

OP posts:

TurnOffTheTv · 06/04/2016 18:43

Surely any normal person would ring the person at home and say 'We'll be back about six, I know you've been busy at work but will you sort tea or shall we get a takeaway when we get back?'

mrsmeerkat · 06/04/2016 18:45

He is just taking you for granted. Let this be a lesson and step back a little. I have had to do this on occassion with my dh.

Even at weekend's he would have a roast cooked at lunchtime then at 6pm roll on in asking what's cooking. Sometimes I don't mind but he doesn't eat sandwiches or cold food so off I go again. More fool me.

But anyway, back to your situation...

When you are not seething. Talk to him and next time write a list

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 06/04/2016 18:50

Do you usually share food responsibility, buying etc.? It's annoying that he didn't think about it, but if it's not usually on his radar, then it wouldn't be a biggie to me.

I was supposed to pop the bins out a few weeks ago, but because it's not usually 'my job', I completely forgot, even though I pass the really really fullbins several times a day.

So, only an idiot would not think his kids the bins might actually need feeding taking out upon their return

And that makes me...

lazy and selfish?

Nah. Don't think so. It meant I just forgot.

witsender · 06/04/2016 18:54

I wouldn't call DH to ask if he could prepare dinner. Why would I? It gets close to dinner time, he knows when we will be back, so he would get something ready. He must have fed himself while the OP was away surely? And must have planned on eating something this evening? He was just waiting for the OP to get back at gone dinner time with 2 kids to cook his tea.

The bread thing wouldn't bother me overly.

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/04/2016 18:56

Not extreme at all.

she's been gone for a few days so he thought to feed himself or he'd be lying in a heap starving.

whenever my parents go on holiday I always make sure they have tea bags milk and bread ready fir when they get back. it's called thinking of other people.

TurnOffTheTv · 06/04/2016 18:57

I would call. If I was the one at home and prepared dinner, I'd be fucked off if they'd had a late lunch or a McDonald's on the way home and didn't want anything.

IthinkIamsinking · 06/04/2016 18:58

only an idiot would not think his kids might actually need feeding upon their return. lazy and selfish.

Fucking hell....... because he didn't sort dinner?? Bit OTT

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/04/2016 19:00

It's what you do.

if someone has a been away or has a long journey back you make sure they at least have a pizza in the fridge they can bing in freezer of they ate on way or cook in short amount of time when back.

Crispbutty · 06/04/2016 19:00

a two minute phone conversation before you set off could have avoided all this drama really

Janeymoo50 · 06/04/2016 19:01

So totally no food at all in the house, in the freezer or in any cupboard? No eggs, beans, pasta, fish fingers, frizen chips..nothing at all in the house?

DoreenLethal · 06/04/2016 19:02

but if it's not usually on his radar, then it wouldn't be a biggie to me.

Not usually on his radar? How did he think the wife was going to cook their tea, with no food and being that she was travelling back? Frying eggs that she stole from a nearby chicken on the engine of the car?

Any adult should be able to work out that the family will need some food when they return from being away a few days. Radar or no fucking radar. This is just making excuses for lazy and 'not my circus' behaviour when it very much is their circus.

Stillwishihadabs · 06/04/2016 19:02

I would have been bright and breezy "what's for dinner ?"....."you haven't thought?" "Oh could you think now? It's just that I've been away for 2 days with dcs and am not going to the supermarket now".

PPie10 · 06/04/2016 19:04

Do you not communicate? Did he even know you set off to come home?

FillingMakesMeVom · 06/04/2016 19:06

Depending on the children and the time they have dinner, he could have thought they would have been eating on the way back? For some 6-6:30 is late. And as such may have decided to sort something out for OP later or a take away. So not lazy but is an example why communication would have been better.

Crispbutty · 06/04/2016 19:09

As the OP normally does the lions share of the shopping and meals, and the fact that there was no apparent communication, maybe he assumed she was calling at the shops on the way home, or eating on the way home, or didnt even know when she was coming home.. cant see how he is an idiot or lazy to be honest.

Viviennemary · 06/04/2016 19:12

Maybe he thought you'd have something to eat on the journey or before you left. I think there should have been some bread in though. No point in being annoyed if things weren't made clear. All these wonderful men that are mind readers to. Shame i've not met any of them so far.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread