Catering for vegetarians at a house-warming party, do I need to provide separate food?

[IslandCanary]

Everyone is bringing a dish, so far most of these contain meat/fish (apart from the salad) as we're doing tapas-style.

One couple have just told me they are vegetarian.

Do I need to ask everyone to bring vegetarian dishes instead? Or is it ok to just provide some salad/rice and let them bring a dish they can eat? I don't want them to feel excluded.

I find most vegetarian food bland and unpleasant and would rather have meat/fish dishes to cater for the majority (I'm planning to make spicy chicken wings, someone else is bringing meatballs, another is bringing battered tempura prawns, crispy squid, vegetable risotto etc.

If I need to provide more veggie options does anyone have any ideas?

I wouldn't eat stuff labelled 'gluten-free' as I'd assume there was someone at the party who needed it.
Pearlylum, don't you care if there are hungry people at a party?

"We minorities tend to stick together and share available resources, so no worries on that score."

You sound like lovely people. Unlike us violent pillaging meat eaters.

Yes I do leave the vegan stuff for the vegans....read my previous post.
It's called consideration.
When there is limited food for dietry requirements, I leave the stuff that is for those specific geoups, because, you know, it's for them.
Even the best host/caterer can't have an unlimited supply of vegan/veggie/gluten free food, so in a party/event setting, it is polite to leave those foods for the people who can't eat anything else.

But they can eat other things. They choose not to.

I suppose that's one of the reasons I always over-provide at a gathering. That and being a Northerner by blood. I can't cope with the discomfort of having someone under my roof that isn't provided for. Which is why we have serving dishes and left overs.
I do provide meat dishes for those who need them (elderly relatives, my carnivorous children) I just like to consider everyone's needs and try and meet them.

Wow pearly you eat mainly veggie food, but you couldn't give a crap about veggies seemingly.

Of course we stick together (and btw, not one of us has used phrases like "pillaging") because we are all used to having to fight for the scraps or go hungry at parties.
It's a shared concern, what's so wrong with that?

Yup, we choose not to. I've chosen not to eat meat for 42 years so far.
It's the joy of not living in a survival situation, or a dictatorship, Choice.

solitary- I am the same. I have vegans and vegetarians in my family. When feeding them I always start off with a premise of vegan food, adding other dishes that I know are enjoyed. I eat only a little meat myself.

Ooh, ooh, tell the veggies to go and help themselves to the buffet before you declare it "open" to everyone else!

I love it when hosts do this for me; you probably only get one shot as a veggie at a buffet whereas everyone else can keep going back, but it is the best shot and you always get what you need to make sure you don't go hungry.

A sneaky "why don't you guys go and get your food now, before the hoardes descend" is a lovely way to show your veggie guests you care

But they can eat other things. They choose not to.
Ah, I see what you are really thinking now.

You think veggies/vegans should either eat meat to make other peoples lives easier, or shut up and put up, right?

It's a choice alright, but I made mine for reasons important to me (and to millions of others btw) so I will not just "choose" to eat meat at a party.

What's so hard about being considerate of others choices?

Cross posted with your reply to Solitary.
So if you do cater like that, why the snarky remarks about "choice" and "pillaging meat eaters"?

I agree with provide a range of veggie options. Not everything has to be veggie. Labelling the food is really helpful - could label everything to make it less obvious if you like. You'll be surprised how many of the the meat eaters eat the veggie options.

But they can eat other things. They choose not to

It really isn't that simple.

Agree you should label the vegetarian food, and agree that you should arrange things so the vegetarians get first go at the vegetarian food.
I've been at parties with buffets where they've announced vegetarians go first, and everyone else after, to ensure the vegetarians get a decent chance to fill their plates with food they can eat.

I also agree that you should provide more vegetarian options. Many meat eaters (me included) enjoy eating vegetarian food, and will put it on their plates, especially if they don't realise there's unfed vegetarians still waiting. You could buy vegetarian tapas style food from the supermarket, veggie pizzas etc, if you don't feel comfortable cooking it yourself.

I definitely agree that anyone dismissing vegetarian food as bland and unpleasant is doing it all wrong. There's lots of tasty and flavoursome vegetarian food out there.

(Most) people who eat meat do not do so exclusively. I may have some chicken or a couple of sausages on my plate but the meat is always far outweighed by the rice / peas / carrots / potatoes etc. How many people do you lot know that eat nothing but meat?? I don't think I've ever seen anyone with nothing but pork chops or burgers on their plate.

For that reason veggie stuff should always outweigh the meat dishes at a buffet. Everyone eats vegetables. Not everyone eats meat. If your buffet is the other way round then it's a poorly catered buffet!

But they can eat other things. They choose not to

When people are offering food around the office they sometimes get to me and say "Ooh, sorry, you can't have these". I delight in telling them I can have them, I just choose not to. But I don't like being told what to do

I guess it's a question of whether or not the hosts/other guests/you respect that choice.

We too have vegetarians in our famiky and friends who can't pork or shellfish. Falafel are usually liked esprcially if you add a baked aubergine dip and a lovely tomato salad with basil and the already mentioned Spanish or Indian veggie treats. Eastern European cheese pastries are delicious and a hot tagine with couscous made with any kind of bean and different coloured vegetables makes a bright dish. Agree yhe non veggies will wire in to the veg. dishes so over cater. Can I come?

I'm not sure it's the 'meat eaters' (omnivore would be a better description and would avoid the current apparent confusion in food provision talked about) fault, more the caterers. As others have said, most meat eaters will have some meat and the rest of the plate as veg and carbs (autocorrect keeps changing carbs to crabs ), that is what we are taught a healthy diet consists of. The caterers should be planning for enough food to cover these proportions plus however many heads of solely veggie food. Besides meat is the more expensive option, it's more cost-effective to provide plenty of veg. I'd be very unhappy at having to eat a whole plate of meat with no veg not to mention shitting through a needle the next day. I only eat a bit of meat and too much doesn't agree with me anymore

OP as others have said up the veggie dish count, and YABU that veggie = bland.

A lot of meat dishes include vegetables, everything from risotto to quiches to skewers to pastries and all varieties and combinations in between.
Which vegetarians don't eat.
It's not a choice between meat and two meats or vegetarian.

My default option in a vegetarian famine is to go straight for the desserts.

Not entirely related, but we go to Crete a lot, and they are VERY anti-vegetarian here. They find it stunning, alarming and hilarious that one would choose not to eat meat, and fear that vegetarians might starve to death at ANY MOMENT. When you sit down to a big group meal, there are lots of jokes about what will the vegetarian eat, they will be so hungry etc. as you see before you on the table:

Greek salad
Fried halloumi
Baked aubergine with tomatoes
Tzatziki
Stuffed vine leaves
Courgette fritters
Baked aubergine with cheese
Horta (basically weeds cooked with lemon juice, but they're really into it)
Pickled artichokes
Pilaf style rice
Mizithra (a soft white cheese like ricotta)
Some lamb

Obv. my vegetarian husband starves to death every time.

Meat dishes described as spicy chicken wings, meatballs, battered tempura prawns, crispy squid (as mentioned by OP) sound rather light on anything other than meat / fish. Faced with those on a buffet, I'd want some veg / carbs as well.
Especially as I dislike shellfish. I'm sure I'd eat it if it was a choice between shellfish and starvation, but not in this scenario.

But I take the point that a dish can include plenty of vegetables and carbs as well as meat.

(Also saying again that the vegetarians should get first go at the buffet)

icanteven

You have reminded me of a fantastic dinner once given by a friend's Cypriot mum. On learning I was vegetarian she threw up her hands in horror "but what will you eat!" she cried!

I peeked at the dining table, and there were so many veggie dishes, I almost felt bad pointing out that 85% of it was very much vegetarian!
Bless her, she was lovely, but still convinced I was dying of starvation, even though I couldn't have managed a wafer thin mint!

I was once caught in the crossfire between two veggies. Veggie on my left asked me to pass a plate of vegetarian sandwiches to her because there were none at her end of the table. I said 'excuse me' and took the plate. Veggie on my right started going fucking mad at me and all meat eaters everywhere for all time for selfishly eating all her food.

I said I wasn't going to eat it but was passing it to the other vegetarian. But she was so intimidated, she denied asking me to pass the plate, leaving me looking like an egg mayonnaise hog. That was a nice party.

They can get their own fucking food next time.

BadDoGooder I think it's because for the older generation, not eating meat is associated with poverty, so they set a very high emotional value on it, and turn a blind eye to the predominantly vegetarian diet they actually enjoy.