Catering for vegetarians at a house-warming party, do I need to provide separate food?

[IslandCanary]

Everyone is bringing a dish, so far most of these contain meat/fish (apart from the salad) as we're doing tapas-style.

One couple have just told me they are vegetarian.

Do I need to ask everyone to bring vegetarian dishes instead? Or is it ok to just provide some salad/rice and let them bring a dish they can eat? I don't want them to feel excluded.

I find most vegetarian food bland and unpleasant and would rather have meat/fish dishes to cater for the majority (I'm planning to make spicy chicken wings, someone else is bringing meatballs, another is bringing battered tempura prawns, crispy squid, vegetable risotto etc.

If I need to provide more veggie options does anyone have any ideas?

'solitary- I too have food preferences, but I don't expect people to cater for me.'

If I'm asked 'Do I want the veggie option?' and I say yes, IANBU to expect food I can eat to be available.
If it's a friend, they know I'm veggie and so they'll have something I can eat.
If I'm going somewhere where the attitude is 'Don't expect us to cater for you' subtext 'You freaking weirdo hippy' then I bring my own food.

Just seems a bit unfriendly and predator-like to gobble up everything you like with no thought for others.

I'm a veggie. I've given up expecting to eat at parties, now I'm happy with a big bowl of olives and unlimited access to the wine rack.

Yes, label the dishes - what they are and VEGETARIAN in big letters.

But it needs to be managed. Meat eaters don't not eat vegetables or non meat dishes! If there was a buffet with cold ham and beef, salmon, asparagus quiche, goats cheese and red onion quiche, salads etc, I would like some of all of that. Unless I was specifically told not to eat the quiches, or there was a label saying "vegetarians only" I would take a slice! (p.s. I have put a label like this on a buffet I've done)

It's best to have a seperate table labelled "vegetarian only" or do as I said in my last post.

doreen I have read your post, you did not say that people had been asked their preferences.
You said “ There was a plate of veggie food and a plate of non.”. You said nothing about the fact that people had been asked preferences. Were we supposed to know that BY telepathy? So no need to get on your high horse with me.

'If it's a medical issue, then fine, but otherwise- then that's just unfortunate.'

Oh.
One of those.

I'm with Solitary all the way on this.
Sorry I know it seems harsh, but seriously, if someone specifically asks for your dietry preferences, then it is not unreasonable to expect there will be food for you.

and this If I'm going somewhere where the attitude is 'Don't expect us to cater for you' subtext 'You freaking weirdo hippy' then I bring my own food.

Oh yeah, on the labeling note, many meat eaters I know deliberately avoid anything labelled "vegetarian", even if they would ordinarily have eaten it as a side dish.

This isn't because they're leaving it for those with limited choices, they just have it in their heads that if it's vegetarian it will be gross!

So yeah, label it.

My friend is a gluten free vegan and we went to a pizza place which just keeps bringing pizzas out while you drink...people kept eating all the pizza suitable for her...and that was not many, I had to say something to the staff...I told them not to deliver the gluten free bases to the other end of the table...they were announcing them as vegan and gluten free but people were just scoffing it all without a second thought!

Why does it never occur to them that the veggie food is there for a reason?

Because in most cases it doesn't look like "veggie food" - it just looks like "food".

If there are sausage rolls and veggie sausage rolls, I'll eat the meat ones. If there are sausage rolls and gluten-free sausage rolls, I'll eat the regular ones.

If there's tapas that includes patatas bravas and garlic mushrooms and a chickpea dish and an aubergine bake, I wouldn't think they were special dishes for a particular reason - I'd just think they were part of the food.

Solitary- it's not with no thought for others. I prefer to eat mostly vegetarian food, I do eat small quantities of meat sometimes, but like you that's my choice.
Why does your decision to eat no meat trump my decision to only eat a little meat?

It's not to do with whether you "can " eat meat, it's whether you choose to or not. Just like me. I will choose to eat mostly vegetarian food at a buffet.
Hardly "predatory".

So pearly my ethical deeply held opinions are not important, at all unless I can come up with some airey fairey medical reason for my diet?

I'm not a vegetarian just to piss people off, or make life difficult, it is a sincerely held belief that it is the right thing to do.

I respect your choices, why can't you respect mine?

TBH if I was invited to a party where "I don't see why I should cater to you" is the default setting, then I probably wouldn't go.

If you prefer to eat mainly veggie, then please the next time you go to a catered party, and are asked your preferences, then state "veggie". This ensures there will be plenty for everyone.

I always make sure there are loads of veggie options when I host. Meat eaters always eat the veggie option (myself included)
Chargrilled veggies are good and easy. And Cheese, and dolma (if veggie) can just be brought.

baddogooder- does your "ethical" card give you a better reason to eat all the veggie food before me?

Vince, if the people catering at the wedding only provided enough of the vegetable curry for the vegetarians, they got it wrong.

As I posted earlier, one of my DDs is a vegetarian, and I need to ensure there is plenty of the vegetarian dishes, to ensure that she has enough to eat, but also that others in the family can choose the vegetarian dishes as well. It wouldn't work for me to prepare 1/5 vegetarian food to 4/5 non-vegetarian, because contrary to the OP, often vegetarian foods are at least as delicious as the non-vegetarian options on offer.

I think, at a wedding, many people would not have been aware that there were so many vegetarians present. It's not like you have to wear a badge.

"vegetarian food" is so common place now, that most omnivores don't see it as such. It's just food.

Not all the food, but enough to make sure we have a plateful. You really seem to be struggling with this idea that vegetarians would like lots of vegetarian food available to eat at gatherings and that we get grumpy if all that's left is meat dishes we can't eat.

I hope all you vegetarians are sticking mostly to the dairy items so that you don't eat all the food for the vegans. We wouldn't want you being predatory now.

I'm an ex-veggie, now occasionally eat some fish - maybe once or twice a month at most. I tend to tell caterers that I'm vegetarian, as I will mostly eat just the veggie food.

However, I think it's fair enough that meat-eaters eat the veggie food as well, unless it's made clear that they should leave certain dishes for the vegetarians. Many meat-eaters try to minimise the amount of meat that they eat anyway, and personally, I think that's a good thing.

The real problem is that caterers so often fail to realise that meat-eaters will happily scoff the veggie food, and so they get the balance wrong. In my view, if half of your guests are vegetarian, then at least three quarters of the food should be vegetarian. We work on this principle when ordering food for work buffets etc, and it seems to work well.

I didn't say either "trumps you" or that I wanted to eat "all of it".

Just asking for a bit of consideration, such as, say, if you know you will eat mainly veggie, then specify "veggie" when you are asked, otherwise a catered event will have only worked out the veggie amounts based on the specification of the amounts.

Surely that's fair?
I don't want all the veggie food just enough to constitute a decent meal, and not be left with meat based dishes or crisps!

'I hope all you vegetarians are sticking mostly to the dairy items so that you don't eat all the food for the vegans. We wouldn't want you being predatory now.'

We minorities tend to stick together and share available resources, so no worries on that score.

So what you do OP then is clearly label food - as PP have said nothing worse than trying to figure out a spring roll or quiche only to get a mouthful of bacon etc and wish you hadn't risked it. Please also keep the food covered or unannounced until you've said to the vegetarian couple to get what they want, they will fully expect people to dig in too as most meat eaters love "veggie" food too. And please please please give them something substantial and not just an afterthought side salad - it will def prove your hosting skills and show that you value them as guests. Been to many a buffet where I've been informed that I can eat the fish dishes "er no, no I can't" oh, well then here's some cucumber. Not great when people have advance warning really.

If in doubt try to figure it out the other way round: if you turned up and it was a big vegetarian food feast and you were the only meat eaters, had given the hosts advance warning, and been provided only a solitary plate of cocktail sausages amidst a table of homemade delights. Then imagine some people decide they actually want some after all. But unfortunate really, yes?

And I would never scoff the vegan food, if I knew there were vegans there.
Because I would think "ah, I will leave that for the vegans, as there are other things I can eat" ..... it really is that easy!

Reading this thread has made me immensely grateful that most of my friends are either veggie or vegan, makes parties much easier!

baddogooder- I don't think I am ever asked if I have a preference.

And assuming I am not asked, then yes I will eat mostly veggie food a buffet. Do you leave the non- dairy stuff out of consideration for vegans?

Really baddogooder- so you wouldn't eat the pilaf or the falafel or the pitta bread or the aubergine bake because you would leave them for the vegans? You would stick to the haloummi and goats cheese salad?