Catering for vegetarians at a house-warming party, do I need to provide separate food?

[IslandCanary]

Everyone is bringing a dish, so far most of these contain meat/fish (apart from the salad) as we're doing tapas-style.

One couple have just told me they are vegetarian.

Do I need to ask everyone to bring vegetarian dishes instead? Or is it ok to just provide some salad/rice and let them bring a dish they can eat? I don't want them to feel excluded.

I find most vegetarian food bland and unpleasant and would rather have meat/fish dishes to cater for the majority (I'm planning to make spicy chicken wings, someone else is bringing meatballs, another is bringing battered tempura prawns, crispy squid, vegetable risotto etc.

If I need to provide more veggie options does anyone have any ideas?

The vegetarians can eat the food too- it's their choice not to

Would you say that to someone who is vegetarian for religious reasons? After all, they don't have to be religious, do they? They just choose to.

The vegetarians can eat the food too- it's their choice not to, I would eat mostly "vegetarian " food at a buffet.
It's also someone's choice to keep Kosher or Halal, would you tell them that your right to eat vegi food trumps their right to not be left with bacon sandwiches?

I agree with Smater that putting onus on "mean" meat eaters not to eat vegetarian options in case a veggie is further back in the queue is missing the point.

The issue is it imho not with the guests at all.
Most people eat a wide variety of food and just because I do eat meat doesn't mean I don't love veggie food.

Unless you have marked food "for our vegetarian guests only" it's unreasonable to expect everyone not to sample all the food from the buffet (and that's not an approach I would consider anyway).

The real issue is that the host/caterer has forgotten/is unaware of the fact that even though the number of veggie guests might be small you actually need much much more of the veggie options as they will be consumed by meat eaters and non meat eaters alike.

Yes, I don't see what religion has to do with it- that's a choice too.

Why should their reasons trump mine?

Gosh, it's just a bit of food offered to guests at a party.

Do people really think about it this deeply? Assuming most people have eaten their usual 3 meals that day

If this was alcohol/soft drinks being argued about discussed, I'm sure it would be viewed quite differently.

Or are there principals 'at steak'?

So you would tell a Jew or a Muslim, 'sod you, have a bacon sandwich and shut up its my right to eat what I want?'

I'm not telling anyone what to eat- that's their choice, not mine.

Why should their reasons trump mine?

Your reason is 'I like it', their reason is their faith. Sorry but that does trump it.

"So you would tell a Jew or a Muslim, 'sod you, have a bacon sandwich and shut up its my right to eat what I want?'"

A bit dramatic don't you think,

"Your reason is 'I like it', their reason is their faith. Sorry but that does trump it."

I am not forcing anyone to eat anything.

I just don't want to be told what I should eat.

The vegetarians here are coming across as really mean, rude and selfish.

Yeah, people who choose not to have animals killed on their behalf are shockingly selfish. Bastards, the lot of them.

Bloody hell this has escalated quickly!

Every year I hold a big family party - cousins etc. Usually catering for 30-35 people. Four people in my family are vegetarians and one is pescatarian . I usually do cold salmon (because meat eaters and pescatarians will eat that), hot chicken for the meat eaters and vegetarian flans or quorn 'meatballs' or vegetarian chilli for the vegetarians. Plus loads of salads and fresh breads.

I give a whisper to the vegetarians and pescatarian that I'm about to open the buffet so they can get to the front of the queue before the others without making it obvious they are having a different meal. I'll let the parents of kids know once those wanting vegetarian mains are up and running as kids also don't necessarily eat everything. Then it's everyone for themselves!

I usually put a vegetarian flan to one side along with a little extra chilli or quorn balls if that's what's on offer. That way there's enough for seconds or, if a vegetarian has missed out, I can make sure they're covered. I also do the same for the meat eaters - if the chicken's getting low I'll pop more in the oven, if it's not used he uncooked chicken goes in the freezer for our dinner a few days later.

I don't think I know of any food that can't be 'vegetarianified' - with quorn fillets and mince you can replicate meat casseroles, meatballs, chilli, flans etc. The seasoning for chilli or Bolognese is the same whatever you cook it with. And chilli made just with vegetables or a plate of roasted vegetables with balsamic vinegar is delicious.

"Yeah, people who choose not to have animals killed on their behalf are shockingly selfish. Bastards, the lot of them"

Now we are getting to the crux of the matter. Please elaborate.

I think maid has it with the side and main dishes

I'm meat eater.

I am obviously thick as anything because it never occurred to me that vegetarian options are for vegetarians not just side dishes. Because that's what they tend to be labelled as at buffets, and set with the breads, salads etc. rather than with the vat of chilli!

I will be more mindful of that in future.

And OP, yes I would ask some of your guests if they can make a veggie option instead - patatas bravas you simply MUST do as they are fabulous and some other stuff. And loads because they are always popular!

'They would never stand at a buffet telling everyone else what they are allowed to eat'

But they are thinking it. Oh yes. They are thinking 'Is that greedy hog going to leave me nothing to eat? Bugger. Better start on the puddings'
Being a shameless lady of a certain age, I have gone for the cheesecake, fruit salads and pavlova and been told 'That's for afters' and replied 'After what?'
But mostly I've found friends and parties fine, it's catered events at conferences and training days that have been irritating and somewhat skimpy in the food department.

'Or are there principals 'at steak'?

You meat eaters take it very seriously!
41.media.tumblr.com/c77da021fe8b726e4a1ad3ab621d3ccc/tumblr_n00gccNoFT1sscqyuo1_500.jpg

At nearly every buffet I've been to, nothing has been labelled. It would probably be good if the vegetarian main was labelled as such, but often there is not a vegetarian main anyway. You're expected to just have the vegetarian sides.

All I know is that when we used to organise buffets at work the few vegetarians used to bring delicious food, labelled, which they put on the table with everything else, only to discover that by the time they came to eat the carnivores had helped themselves to most of it because it' looked good enough to eat ha ha'. Putting it on different dishes, cloths, tables didn't work; in the end it had to be hidden away until the V's had helped themselves.

Solitary!

Agree with yellowtulips that it's not the responsibility of the guests. think that's where people have become defensive.

If there was a choice between bacon sandwich and cheese toasties, as there was at a recent wedding I went to, I would choose the cheese. I don't like bacon sarnies except my mums and if both were offered I'd expect to be able to choose according to my preference. Unless it was made clear to me that there were people there who for veggie/religious/allergy reasons could only eat the cheese, and that there wouldn't be enough if I took one then I'm not sure I would automatically think of that. If I was with my Jewish friend, or my vegetarian FIL and there was only one of each left I'd offer them the cheese, but I still wouldn't eat the bacon.

A buffet to me is 'help yourself to what you fancy' and I will invariably fancy more of the veggie stuff. I'm happy to hold back if I know that I need to, but I'd need it to be made clear to me either through knowing the exact dietry requirements of all guests and whether or not they'd already eaten their fill, or by having it made clear in some other way.

As the OP is hosting her own party at home, then she absolutely has it in her power to make sure there is enough for everyone, and as the idea of tapas style food is sharing, she can im sure do this in a way that everyone can share some of whatever they want to try/sample. It's on her to make sure her veggie guests are catered to, and depending on the size of the party that can be as simple as just saying 'right everyone, food is served, let's let A and B have their pick first as they have less to choose from, then everyone dig in'.

Yes, I don't see what religion has to do with it- that's a choice too.

Why should their reasons trump mine?

Please say you don't really think this, pearlylum

pearlylum If you saw a meat pie and a veggie pie next to each other at a buffet, would you take a slice of the veggie one?

there is not a vegetarian main anyway
This is the problme. Veggies are an afterthought - oh, they can have a bit of that. well, so can everyone else.

Although it doesn't seem like the veggie main would be safe from some here, if they fancied it.