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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

whilst walking in a rough area...

50 replies

SurroMummy13 · 05/04/2016 21:05

I didn't know where to put this really but I figured this may be the best place.

I'm recently trying to up my fitness level and loose a lot of weight so I am walking a lot more. Over the last 2 days I've gone on two walks and done around 10 miles.

That may not be much to you but for me it is a lot so please be nice about that.

But where I walk, twice over two days I've felt intimidated by some people who walk down the same route. (It's like a walking path that cuts through most of my city)

Would I be unreasonable to carry some sort of something to ensure that if I was attacked, I could try and defend myself and my 3 year old girl?.

And I'm not meaning a knife or anything, I just mean something heavy I could give them a smack with.

I always have the dog with me but he neither is, nor does he look anything other than the little softie he is!

I don't want to stop these walks as they are doing my daughter, myself and our dog the world of good.

OP posts:
TopHat33 · 05/04/2016 21:05

Buy and carry a rape alarm.

123rd · 05/04/2016 21:06

Why not some sort of sound alarm? Doesn't have to be a physical thing- which could be turned on you if you are over powered.

Creampastry · 05/04/2016 21:10

Walk with keys in your hand - pointy ones.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 05/04/2016 21:12

Rape alarm, otherwise you could be done for carrying and offensive weapon (and jf you were attacked it may well be used against you).

Also, remember the vast majority of people are decent.

MTPurse · 05/04/2016 21:13

What is intimidating you? I mean what kind of people do you come across?

Greydog · 05/04/2016 21:13

I always have a walking stick with me. It has a nice brass horse head on it. (sounds like something from the Godfather!)

LottieDoubtie · 05/04/2016 21:15

I agree a sound alarm is the best protection. Also look at your routes- more main roads to make you feel safer?

Carrying something to use as a weapon is a) illegal and b) likely to be used against you in a fight.

KayTee87 · 05/04/2016 21:16

Please don't be put off your walking. You, your daughter and your dog will all be befitting massively from this.
As others have said get a rape alarm, and yy to keys. On the couple of occasions I've felt worried I've clenched the keys in my hand so I could hit someone in the face with the pointy bits. Good point made that the vast majority of ppl are not out to harm you. You could always do a self defense class or even kick boxing which would be great for fitness and confidence :)

seastargirl · 05/04/2016 21:18

How about a travel size bug repellant spray, a squirt to the eyes would give you time to get away?

KayTee87 · 05/04/2016 21:20

Benefitting *

madein1995 · 05/04/2016 21:26

I think knowing some basic self defence moves are good - a knee/kick to the groin area or hard punch on the nose will sting and buy you some time. Keys between hands good too. If walking alone, wear headphones but don't play music - any would be attacker will likely underestimate your awareness and let his guard down, and you'll be aware of what they are doing. Also, perfect the 'shoulders back, tits out, head held high' stance - makes you appear so much more confident.

wonkybumcrack · 05/04/2016 21:27

Walk fast or the fuckers will take ur trainers!

zeeka · 05/04/2016 21:27

Keys with keyring over your finger. Or a biro Smile

I really don't think you'd be an obvious target, but the more confident you look, the better. Often people look scary when you're worried, but they're more than likely perfectly ok!

SurroMummy13 · 05/04/2016 21:28

Thanks all, I'll try the alarm :).

I like the walk there as its plenty of fresh air, I'm not stressing about my daughter going to far or running across the road.

She can run back and forth with the dog and enjoy nature instead of crappy streets.

Today I felt intimidated as there was a group of 10-12 rough, loud swearing lads walking not far behind us, overtook us at one point then held back so we passed them. I got my daughter in the buggy then started walking faster.

(Before anyone says anything I only take a buggy for a 3 year old because they are long walks for her little legs and when she gets tired she can sit down for a little bit).

Thanks :) xx

OP posts:
amarmai · 05/04/2016 21:31

if you have to carry a rape alarm , it wont be a very relaxing walk IMO. Maybe the walkers are different at different times of the day. What time do you go? maybe lunchtime wd feel safer?

WeAllHaveWings · 05/04/2016 21:32

I think even in the roughest areas, as long as they are not also totally deserted, there is unlikely to be someone who would approach a woman/child/dog as there will always be someone who will come to their aid. A rape alarms is a good idea to attract attention, but more to give you confidence.

omri · 05/04/2016 21:33

Are there other times you could go when it's less likely to have those ruffians around? Gang of 10-12 lads close to you does sound very intimidating. Were they teens who'll be back in school next week?

SaucyJack · 05/04/2016 21:34

I think you would do better by trying to rationalise your anxiety- and I mean that in a helpful way.

Most people are not out for trouble- even if they do look a bit rough. Unless you live in LA South Central or summat, then you shouldn't let fear affect your everyday life.

GreenMarkerPen · 05/04/2016 21:34

well done you for walking so much!

I would carry hairspray or a squirty lemon juice.

SurroMummy13 · 05/04/2016 21:35

I always walk confident.

I was attacked and raped when I was 13 so I think that's why I do feel this way sometimes.

Yesterday a lad who looked rathe thuggish came strutting in our direction, I was nervous till my daughter went running close before I could grab her (she was 3 ish metres from me and 1 ish from him) and waved and said 'hello, I'm walking with my mummy, what are you doing?'

He just laughed and told her that he's going to see his mummy, and to have a nice walk.

Felt at ease after that.

I know it's judging people on looks but sometimes you can't hell it even if you don't want to!

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 05/04/2016 21:37

Sorry to read that dude. Take care xx

SurroMummy13 · 05/04/2016 21:39

I've been at different times. Sunday I was out 9-11, Monday was out 10-12 and today was out 11:30-3pm.

Thanks all, feeling more assured :). Xxx

OP posts:
TattyCat · 05/04/2016 21:40

Fair play if your 3 year old is walking the same distance as you!! She must sleep well Grin Grin

I second the keys, by the way. Hold in your hand and place all your keys through your fingers like a 'knuckle duster'. Grip tightly and use with force where necessary! And I also second looking confident and walking purposefully. Mamma bear and all that Wink

BoffinMum · 05/04/2016 21:40

Most if not all of the people you are intimidated by won't have a clue they are being threatening.

QuiteLikely5 · 05/04/2016 21:40

I would carry a mini tin of impulse then if anyone tried anything spray it in their eyes! Or mouth.......not very nice I know!

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