photos of my DC on FB

[wannabehippyandcrazycatlover]

I really don't know if IABU so will happily take a flaming if needs be.

My SIL posted some photos of my DC (with an overly emotional post) on FB today and didn't ask if it would be okay and didn't tag either her DB or me in them.

Am I right to feel a little miffed? I don't really post many photos and I have no idea who can see SIL posts (I know she has random guys from tinder on there).

Urgh overly gushy post is bad enough and factually incorrect, a 5 mo's best friend is it's food supply

I don't allow pictures of my kids on Facebook and no-one is allowed to put them anywhere online. SILs didn't like it but they're used to it now and no way am I having 'Kevin who I met on Saturday who has a moped' on their friends lists having access to photos of my children.

You're definitely not BU! I'm a very private person and do not post any pics of my children onto fb however mil constantly posts pics of them which is strange as she hardly sees them. I'd never dream of posting a pic of someone else's child but I have strong opinions on this subject as there's a lot of weirdos online and mil adds lots of random people who I or she do not know.

I don't like the thought of complete strangers looking at pics of my children - who knows who's hands they could get into.

I completely accept that some may think Im being ridiculous

I do think YABU but I would have to mention the privacy settings to your SIL.

Apart from that, let it go. She obviously adores the dc.

The thing is though that OP does post pictures on FB so the principle of it is obviously not a problem.

People who don't like strangers seeing their dc's pictures, can I ask what you think will happen? Genuinely curious as I've seen this a lot but I'm never sure what they think will happen!

But what do people think will happen if someone sees a photo of their child?

Do you let strangers in the street see them or do you cover their heads like Michael jacksons kids??

Cross post!

Can I just ask those of you who don't want pictures of their dc on FB, when your dc are/were/will be at school, would you tick the box which states you don't want your dc to appear in any newspaper article, social network site etc etc?

It's a genuine question btw, I'm not being snipey.

I post lots of pics of dd because my family live all over the world but my Facebook privacy settings are maxed out.

However if ever my pics include a friend or family members child I always ask if they mind first

I have absolutely no issue with people posting pictures (with appropriate settings) but just feel it's polite to ask or tag me in them?

Like I said, I probably ABU it's just weird that she didn't feel it necessary to tag me in them at the very least, so I know what's being posted?

I'd be pissed off if someone posted pictures of my dc on fb, but then I don't put any on there either. I don't think anything is going to happen if people see pictures of them my reasoning comes from talking to my neice and nephews who are older teenagers. From being about 11 or 12 ish they've taken any baby pictures in the house down when their friends have visited as they didn't want them to see them. All three said they're really glad there aren't baby pictures of them on fb. Plus I think fb "own" all pictures posted don't they? Not keen on that idea.

I do tick that box, yes.

I never ticked the box when my eldest was pre-school age, I wouldn't allow her picture online. I do allow her school to take pictures, because that is how they communicate home too.

For me, it's more about how she has a right to her privacy. In my job now, if my entire childhood was documented online with gushing captions from my mummy dearest I would have serious credibility problems. My child may grow up to be in a profession where it is even more important to maintain her privacy, and we don't know how data privacy on public companies will be managed in the future. I also don't want anyone to be able to feel like they 'know her' because of an online presence she has no control over.

I'm another who doesn't get all the angst over this, when a random photo of any of my DC turns up on FB it doesn't bother me in the slightest. But I do realise others are different and if you don't want other people to post pics of your DC you need to tell them.

Personally I don't think you are being unreasonable for not wanting pics of your child on fb, don't understand the worry myself but your child your choice.
Where I do think you are being a bit unreasonable though in my opinion is that you haven't told her that and have posted pictures yourself, I would totally take that to mean you are cool with it. I've taken pictures of my children with friends and have checked to see if the friends' parents put pictures up to see if it's ok to post them - I'm a bit worried I've annoyed people now!!

My kids are plastered all over my Sister's FB, we rarely speak.

I don't do FB but my ds's tell me what she posts [they're all older].

Frazzled you are completely right and I too believe that I have been guilty of doing that in the past and perhaps have annoyed a few people. Feel like a hypocrite now

I think IABU.

I have a secret fb group (secret is the status of the group, not being a weirdo!) For my dd but my in laws insist on putting pics of her on their walls. I wouldn't mind so much if they posted it to my wall as I know everyone that can see it but it makes me angry that all of their friends can see them from their walls. It's the principal too.
Because you do put photos up yourself OP I think it's unfair to ask that she doesn't but maybe ask that she edit the privacy settings when doing so or only post it directly on your wall.
Remember they're your child...you get to decide, don't feel guilty.

I've tried to reign in my photo posting in general recently, think people may have got a bit bored of albums upon albums of pics of my kids lol! At the end of the day though, whether or not you are being unreasonable if you are uncomfortable with it, just ask her to check with you first next time, that's totally your right x

I really don't understand why people don't want there kids on social media. I get from a domestic violence and not wanting to be found incase the ex harms the family.

But for a normal circumstance, what are you expecting will happen to them?
Do you let them outside, or keep them in incase someone looks at them.

The vast majority of people do post pictures on Facebook of their children etc For most people that is the norm, therefore most people wouldn't think about asking for permission. However, if someone explicitly states no uploading, it should be respected whether it's because of safety concerns or just a personal preference.

Everyone has their line they've drawn in the sand as to what they think is acceptable and what isn't and for the most part, it's entirely personal view. There isn't a right and wrong.

OP ask your SIL to take it down if you feel uncomfortable.

To posters asking the difference between a picture on FB and being seen walking down the street - for me it's quite simply that pictures are a physical record of a person which can be reproduced again and again whenever, by whoever and for whatever.

free to be blunt, my fear is paedophiles. People aren't always who they appear to be on the internet, it's too easy for people to get a hold of photos of your children.

YANBU. I have no pics of my kids on social media. If they want to put up their baby pics when they are adults, that is fine. And no, school and nursery do not have permission to publish pictures of them either. I am not afraid of what might happen to the pictures as such, but I do not want to start their internet persona now. unlike my sister who set up email accounts for her sprogs the week they were born.

I don't think "What bad things are you expecting to happen?" is really relevant. It's about the choice of privacy. Today's culture is becoming more and more open as everyone wants their 15 minutes fame, and there's more surveillance too. Just because you don't want to join in with that, it doesn't mean you are anticipating something bad or have anything to hide. It is, quite simply, a valid choice that should be respected.