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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

sky tv and benefits

62 replies

Moomoomango · 04/04/2016 19:19

My situation : 2 children 1 disabled hubby. I'm his registered carer and we claim income support. Before I became dh carer and had kids I worked very hard often working more than one job, so not work shy (in fact looking for part time work as we speak) just the situation. We are very lucky to live in a lovely home with a large garden for the children. Children are fed and clothed and have plenty of toys / days out / activities (within budget anyway!)

Myself and dh don't go out at all, don't drink or smoke, very rarely buy clothes have relatively low maintenance lives but my dh loves football so has sky ( I would rather not have sky but that's another topic)

My sil who has a very well paid job and my brother is a self made millionaire. They live in a huge house and want for nothing. I'm pleased for them, they work hard and play hard.

A conversation came up which I was not involved in but in the room whereby they were discussing politics with my dad. All of a sudden I hear my name called and asked how much our sky bill was, I replied £X I think, and then sil said very loudly "yeah that's not right people on benefits should not have sky tv"

I felt like a sub human who didn't deserve any pleasure (Not that it's my pleasure but it's the principle)!

Aibu to think if you are entitled to benefits (such as disabled benefits or caring benefits) you should be able to have a small luxury here and there if you have budgeted and all bills are covered?

Essentially I could have the govt pay for carers and I go out to work full time but it would cost the govt far more than I get paid to provide that service. Then I would be entitled to a life of free choice?

OP posts:

YakTriangle · 04/04/2016 19:54

How fucking dare she appoint herself judge and jury on what people can and can't have? It's absolutely none of her business what you spend your money on.
I'd find it quite difficult to remain polite to someone with such a nasty sneering attitude actually.

Owllady · 04/04/2016 19:54

Well if she's a strong conservative shell appreciate how much money you are giving to Murdoch to give to the conservative party

LuisSuarezTeeth · 04/04/2016 19:56

Who gives a flying fuck who has what on any benefit? What business is it of anyone else's?

Sick to death of this judgement.

KayTee87 · 04/04/2016 19:56

She's an arsehole!!
I have been known to have fairly conservative views on some things but realise everyone's situation is different. Disability and caring are 2 things that I would have thought even the most conservative would agree 'deserve' the benefits. The reason I don't mind paying a lot of tax is to support people who really need the help. You already have a full time job, you are a carer.
Do not feel ashamed because of her snotty attitude, being disabled cannot be easy and your husband finds joy in watching football, she would rather he lost that joy?
I don't even know her and she's really riled me up!

scarlets · 04/04/2016 19:59

If you were claiming poverty and the kids were suffering, it would be reasonable to suggest that you ditched Sky rather than whining about the government being ungenerous or whatever. However, you haven't complained at all and your kids are doing fine. You live within your means which is the right thing to do.

BishopBrennansArse · 04/04/2016 20:01

Ok so where are the lot who have given posters like me an utter kicking for the past 5 years?

Owllady · 04/04/2016 20:03

They're all watching back to back episodes of friends

gotthearse · 04/04/2016 20:03

God what an awful thing to say. I work collecting rent in social housing and therefore my colleagues look at a lot of customers personal budgets (usually when they are in arrears but not always). It used to be back some years that broadband was not considered an essential but that view has changed as it's absolutely essential for finding work, getting the best deals on utilities and kids homework etc. moving forward with the expansion of universal credit all claimants will need some form of IT access to manage thier UC account in any case (and if you don't you'll get sanctioned). We have lots of customers in villages or with small kids for who the library just isnt an option. We'll only ever have the talk about the TV package if someone's home is at risk thru non payment of rent, and even then we won't tell people what to do, but explain their choices and the potential consequences of each.

Perhaps you should ask the SIL to thank you for all you do keeping her taxes down, as FT care for hubby would cost considerably more than you are getting paid by the state to do it.

VoldysGoneMouldy · 04/04/2016 20:06

What an utter wanker.

I'm disabled, am stuck at home a lot, so we pay £8 or whatever it is for Netflix.

I completely understand how you feel though. I have an OT come out for equipment assessment the other day, and felt the need to justify our large TV (gift from family for combined birthdays and anniversaries) and cardless Sky box (no freeview signal here so got my friends old one to get signal when she upgraded).

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 04/04/2016 20:09

You do work OP, you're a carer for your husband. You're probably saving more money than you are receiving.

RubbleBubble00 · 04/04/2016 20:11

Weird women. If you can afford non essentials then why not. Once all bills are covered it's up to u what your spending money is spent on. A night out once a month would cost me more than my tv, phone and broadband package

KayTee87 · 04/04/2016 20:13

Perhaps you should ask the SIL to thank you for all you do keeping her taxes down, as FT care for hubby would cost considerably more than you are getting paid by the state to do it.

^ this!

Alisvolatpropiis · 04/04/2016 20:16

Sky tv is a luxury, many people (not aimed at you op) don't see it as such though so will struggle on with a sky package they can ill afford as a result.

However she was extremely rude and deserves to be told to fuck off.

MargaretCabbage · 04/04/2016 20:16

You are entitled to benefits and entitled to spend them how you see fit. I think you should be able to enjoy any leisure activities you can afford out of the measly amount you get.

I imagine it's harder to get out for many people with disabilities and caring responsibilities so why shouldn't you have a choice of TV channels to enjoy?

Toffeelatteplease · 04/04/2016 20:21

If you were to employ a a full time carer (often twenty four hours a day if only on call) the cost to the state would be considerably more than the equivalent benefit payment.

I despair of any human that resents what others far less fortunate than them have. Especially when they have more than enough themselves.

It is the mark of a society how they treat their most vulnerable.

bloodyteenagers · 04/04/2016 20:21

A luxury that providers package
Into their deals so works out cheaper than just getting bb and a phone. It's not only sky that are guilty of this.

Then there's the other deals where for 6 months you get everything for a couple of quid more than the bog standard package. And unless you know the finances, you would just see they get everything and assume they are paying ££££ when in reality they are paying £30

movinonup · 04/04/2016 20:23

I think I know exactly how you feel OP, I'm a disabled, about to be divorced, mother of 2 in homeless accommodation and when I told a 'friend' that I'd picked up a second hand leather sofa for a very cheap amount, she said ''well you better watch that the benefits people don't find out, because in my opinion if you can afford furniture you can afford rent''

Made me feel like shit.
Don't let these morons get to you (easier said than done, I know)

Bunnybop · 04/04/2016 20:25

I'm sure you're not prioritising sky tv over feeding your dc so I think your sil should piss off and keep her opinion to herself.

Very slippery slope when we start to tell people what they should and shouldn't be spending their benefits on.

CockacidalManiac · 04/04/2016 20:29

She does wants you to know that 'she is considerably richer than yow'.
Plus she's a bitch.

Kennington · 04/04/2016 20:34

She was rude.
Surely if someone is home, for whatever reason, for long periods, then they are more likely to have a Tv package, for entertainment!
I do hate Murdoch though! And his papers are the ones who stir this sort of argument up. And the daily mail.

BillSykesDog · 04/04/2016 20:37

You can do what you like with your money and as people have said when you're stuck in the house entertainment is important and the internet pretty much vital. I also think it is something affordable that can make a big difference to children, particularly if they don't have as many entertainment options as their friends, so in that sense good value.

However the football package costs an absolute bomb and I would question the financial wisdom of spending money on that rather than on putting something aside for emergencies. It seems an awful lot of money to be spending on entertainment which is really only benefiting one family member. Personally the football package seems a step too far and to me would be a luxury that could be done without.

harshbuttrue1980 · 04/04/2016 20:38

Whether benefits should be at a level where someone can afford Sky TV is one issue that is fair to debate. Picking on an individual for claiming the benefits that the system says they are entitled to isn't really on. The government says that's what you're entitled to, so spend it how you like.

wonderwoo · 04/04/2016 20:43

She doesn't deserve any more of your head-space OP. How rude and judgemental of her. I don't think I would be giving her any more details about my personal life in future, if that is what she is capable of.

Thisismyfirsttime · 04/04/2016 20:44

What did your dad and brother say? Did they pull her up or agree with her or just change the subject?

Original poster

Moomoomango · 04/04/2016 20:50

My brother stayed quiet but my dad like most of my family seem to lap up her views when they are around her and was agreeing with her. But if she's not around he wouldn't have said anything. She has some sort of influence over people to make them agree with her

OP posts:

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