To think there's something wrong with DS.

[FindingSomeAnswers]

DS is 7...

He will not talk to other children. He will happily chat away to adults - to the point they want him to shut up! School have tried everything, he has been assessed by a speech therapist, an educational psychologist, psychiatrist, they've all told me he is normal.

He isn't.

He refuses to talk to any other children/play with any other children - he has no friends and doesn't want any either.

Advice?

Is he a only child?

I ask because as an only child, in a small family, I was more comfortable with adult conversation and was irritated by other children.. if it helps I grew up quite normal... honest!!

No, he's DC3! I have 4 DC... He barely talks to them...

Well it's hard to say but if he is happy and you have no other concerns then I'd try not to make it a big issue. If he's happy in his own skin it would be a shame to make him feel that he isn't 'normal'

I know it doesn't sound like an issue.

But he won't do anything with other children, he won't talk or do anything.

Does he play on his own? Maybe he finds them boring?

Hes probably just an old soul and can't relate to children his own age. He obviously had no issues with communication as he manages fine with adults. Sounds like he just knows what and who he likes.

high iq?

What does he say about it?

He doesnt like any games that children play, he doesn't like toys or anything. He's obsessed with chess and I have no idea where he has learnt it from, yes, his IQ is high, but the education psychiatrist just said he was clever

Is he happy?

Yes, he seems happy. However, he can't just never talk to kids, what happens when he's 11,12,13? What happens then? He doesn't talk to his siblings

My son is like this and is on the autistic spectrum. Not saying that your child is but it is sometimes a sign. Has he been assessed by a developmental paediatrician? Are there any other concerns?

It was a very early sign with my son..he struggled with other children but coukd chat away to adults about his chosen topic (note HIS chosen topic...not theirs). He can literally talk the hind leg off the proverbial donkey.

Your DS coukd just be quirky but if there are other issues then it might be worth pushing for more assessment.

I can't understand why all the professionals you have seen seem to have no concerns about it.

Does he ever speak to children or is it like selective mutism?

Nope, he hasn't seen one of those!

He just looks at tiny details, but ones that people haven't pointed out to him and he'll specifically not look at the ones people want, so he struggles at school. He will be asked to colour in something, but he'll colour in the words, but not the picture. It's hard to explain

They never see him with children, only them and I suppose he comes across fine to them.

No, he never speaks to them... Never, but he'll talk to me and loads of other adults (any actually)

So are you suggesting he is 'Selectively mute'? what happens when other children talk to him? does he just turn away? stand and stare? how long has this been going on for?

When he talks to adults is it on a range of subjects/joining in with a conversation or is he 'informing' them about a specific subject he is interested in, like chess?

I only ask because it could be he's just that way inclined however, I have taught a couple of high functioning children (both boys actually) with aspergers who were like the latter.

Does he seem happy?

It does sound a little bit like ASD but of course it's so hard to tell online.

When other people stand and talk to him, he'll just look at them and stare, my other DC will turn to shouting at him (yes, I stop this) and he will still just stare at them... He isn't fussed by what they do.

Well, he'll answer their questions, but not really - he'll ignore it at first, and then include it when he starts talking... It's so hard to explain

Well there is a definite communication issue - if you are picking up on this and you know him best.

It does sound like a spectrum issue, but he could still just be finding them boring.

As a matter of interest, goes he play chess at a club? He would probably find lots of like minded children and adults (it does seem to be an environment where the children and adults chat as equals).

Yes - a 7 year old who can teach himself chess might find others pretty dull - not really on his plain.

I would ask for a referral to a Speech and Language Therapist. People often discount this service thinking it is only for problems with speech but it can be very important to analyse use of language and communication. I learnt more from my son's SALT than from any of the other specialists we saw, it was really fascinating.

Was just going to ask if he goes to a chess club? Really sounds like he finds other children boring/too loud/intense?

He's 7. However clever he is; it can't be as simple as finding all other children "boring". I find plenty of adults boring, but I don't turn mute in their presence.
The refusal to interact at all, coupled with the overly literal way he responds to instructions would concern me greatly, I'm afraid.