To ask if you had v bad HG the 1st time.......

[BadDoGooder]

Did you have it the second time?

I have a DS aged 3.10, the pregnancy was truly horrific.
From about 6 weeks I was throwing up or feeling sick constantly.
I was hospitalized 5 times during the pregnancy, for a total of 10 weeks.
It was a real struggle, and had to give up work, really early on as I just couldn't cope, the only thing that saved me was the support of DP and a couple of very close friends, who were/are brilliant.

The reason I ask is, I had those early sicky symptoms a little while ago (it was a bug I think), and it threw up a debate we had never had before.
While DP already has two adult DDs we do sort of feel it would be nice for DS to have a sibling close to his age, but I absolutely cannot do that pregnancy again.
I hate hospitals anyway, and 10 weeks of that, plus not being able to eat anything/do anything and the traumatic birth coupled with DS's v worrying 2 weeks in SCBU with some very frightening potential outcomes, I can't help but feel it's not worth it.
So as not to drip feed, I have been pregnant before DS (I had a termination) and I had severe HG then as well, so I'm assuming my body just hates being pregnant!

So....AIBU to ask if you did/would do it again? And was it as bad the second time around?

With DC1 it started at 7 weeks and went on until about 22 weeks. I was OK for the rest of the pregnancy. I had never been so sick in my life for that 15 weeks, though.

Until I got pregnant with DC2 (sorry) . Started at 7 weeks again. I was as sick as a dog until 24 weeks-ish this time, not really better/abl to eat anything until 28 weeks. I was hospitalised, too. Lost 20 lbs in the first trimester . I was completely incapacitated for that 21 weeks I was sick, far worse than my first pregnancy. I literally could not move from the sofa, it was like having the most extreme sea sickness, had to have DH and my mum caring for our toddler. It was so grim. So very grim.

I wouldn't do it again for anything. I get broody at times, but the memory is still so strong 8 years later it puts genuine fear and panic in me!

I had HG and severe SPD (I had to use a wheelchair and was in constant pain on top of the awful sickness) with DD who is now 2. It was horrendous. I was signed off work from 20 weeks and my bosses were livid. They badgered me with constant phonecalls, came to my house and tried to make out it was all in my head and that it was a mental health issue, despite my very lovely and supportive GP writing them a letter explaining the situation.

I desperately want a second child but I don't know if I'm strong enough to go through it all again. My GP reckons the chances of me getting SPD a second time are about 50/50 but she wasn't sure about HG. I was naively hoping I might escape it the second time but based on this thread it doesn't look very likely. DH's job is very full on and completely inflexible. I know my Mum would help but it seems a lot to ask for her to nurse me and look after DD for 9 months.

I am leaning towards waiting til DD starts school I think.

I had it so badly with my first that I was in bed for four months. Survived on ice cold complan. that I then threw up left the house ( standing up) for the first time at around six months.

Second -dreadful but was able to get out of bed and crawl around. Really crawled around. I'd 'compile' cold food for DS1 -then lie down for a few moments to recover. Was able to go out & about with a sick bag by six months.

Third, very 'sick' always throwing up -but was able to function much better.

So, it did get better for me. I think that is rare though.

Good luck with finding an answer. It is very tough.

Reading all your replies has really given me lots of food for thought.
Including the thought that once again, when a woman goes to the doctor and tells them she knows this isn't normal, she get's dismissed as just being silly for not dealing with normal morning sickness.

They only took me seriously when I had my first hospital visit, and even then they resisted giving meds to take at home, they seemed to think a spell in hospital would magically make it better

So the attitudes of HCPs is v important.
As is access to childcare, it was fine the first time, I only had to worry about me, but I don't think I could even make toast for DS with HG, and as both DM and MIL live hundreds of miles away, I won't have any help. DP would help, but works v long hours and his employers are useless.

I worry if I leave it till DS is settled in school, it will be a bit pointless anyway, as the age difference will be bigger than I would have wanted. Me and DBro have 7 years between us, and while as adults we get on v well, we barely connected as kids.

Blimey this is tough, but the more I read the more I think that DS will have to deal with having two much older half siblings and as many friends as I can muster for him!

I know I don't have the support structure in place, nor am I likely to in the near future, and tbh I was hoping that when DS started school I would find a way of starting my own little business, and I would have to put that back again, you can't set up a business while in bed!

It would basically mean 9 months of total dependence, plus another 5 years of being a SAHM, as childcare is too expensive here to get without me having an income first!

This is bloody hard.

First time was 24/7 relentless nausea. Horrendous. Could t eat sleep function. Stopped at 19 weeks.

This time the same again but with vomiting. Needed medication until 28 weeks. Much worse than last time.

Sorry. The good things is though that as soon as you know u are pg and have the slightest hint of nausea get on medication immediately. Much more effective when started early. Speak to gp in advance though.

My sickness got worst each time. First time wasnt great but stopped roughly about 10 weeks and felt queasy a lot of the time but was able to carry on. Second time worse, felt debilitated at times, lasted over 12 weeks. Third time couldnt eat or drink, lost a stone and half, spent 9 weeks solid in bed on all manner of medications, considered termination due to how horrible it was. Didnt feel better until gone 20 weeks

I've not read all the comments but thought I'd fill you in on my story
I had hg with my first pregnancy. Our daughter was stillborn at 26 wks and I was sick right up until then. With my second I had normalish morning sickness which was worst at the beginning but fine by the end when my son was born.
With my third I was horrendously sick for the full 9 months. I was hospitalised many times and was lighter at the end of my pregnancy with my daughter still in my tummy than I was at the start! The whole experience was horrendous leaving my son to play alone while I lay on the couch or was sick in a bucket still racks me with guilt.
Why am I telling you all this? I think it's to let you know not every pregnancy is the same mine were all different. Having said that I will never be doing that to me or my family again. Good luck what ever you decide X

I had it with my 4th and 5th baby.

Awful sickness with the other three but not HG. 4th baby HG lasted 9 months, 5th baby HG lasted about 14 weeks.

3 hg pregnancies here. 1st was horrendous as it wasn't controlled at all and I lost 3 stone in weight. I was sick all day, every day but stupidly refused hospital admission as I was too scared. I was prescribed metochlopromide by my gp which didn't really help. Work were horrendous and I did not return there after my son was born, partly because if the way I was treated. Whilst I was on maternity leave e company was taken over and when the new HR team found out what had gone on they were disgusted and were worried I might take them to a tribunal for constructive dismissal :( 2 nd ended in a mmc at 12 weeks. 3rd was probably worse in intensity than the other 2, especially as I had a 2 year old to look after and no family support nearby. Had a few hospital admissions that time and was on ondansetron and cyclizine for most of my pregnancy. However, I did cope slightly better as by this time I knew the drill and was realistic about what to expect. My previous history also meant my gp (my previous gp had retired by this point) was proactive with my treatment.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. We would love another child but I'm not sure I could go through it again. My sons have a two and a half year gap and swing between loving and hating each other!

I didn't have HG, I was just deeply and intensely nauseous from about week 5 to the end of week 21. Very little throwing up, but the nausea was dreadful. And I did have a second DD, but it was worse second time around.

A good friend of mine had proper HG, twice, and hers was also worse second time around.

Whatever you decide, I wish you strength.

I had bad hg first time round and severe hg second time round. I had a four and half year gap which I'm sure made it easier in some ways since dc1 didn't need as much help and started school part way through my pregnancy but on the other hand I felt very absent from family life.
Third time round (unplanned and v unexpected) I almost got to to 7 weeks and after 3 several day hospital admissions, steroids and every anti emetic going, made the decision to terminate. I had a 2 year old, 6 year old, dh worked away part of the week and I just couldn't cope alone (we have no family close by at all).
I know a couple of people who found it better second time but they didn't have as severely as I did (or you by the sounds of it!) for their first pregnancy.

Good luck with whatever decision you make and remember that an only child or a bigger age gap between children is fine. Do whatever suits you as a family best.

I'm afraid so. HG started at around 7 weeks with first pregnancy, lasted until maybe 24 or so weeks, treated with cyclizine and maybe one other antiemetic, no hospital treatment but was signed off work for weeks.

2nd time it started at about 4.5 weeks (I had literally 3 days of happy pregnancy feel). Got worse very quickly as GP told me not to be so pessimistic and refused to prescribe the meds in advance. By 5.5 weeks I think I was admitted for IV fluids, antiemetics etc, sometimes 1 day, sometimes 4 days. Then was in and out of hospital every 2-3 weeks until about 26 weeks (at which point I was in a wheelchair from SPD but that's a whole other story). I was treated with cyclizine, ondansetron, metoclopramide and 1 other antiemetic (prom something?), plus frequent IV fluids and the vitamin you lack, can't remember which yet. My eldest was at full time nursery and dh basically did everything. Also had a permanent migraine for first 3 months, which disappeared at the 3 month mark, same as first pregnancy. Again I was signed off for much of the pregnancy.

However, worth mentioning I was on progesterone supplements due to miscarriages, and I think that may have worsened the HG.

We are never having any more children though we would have liked 3. We have a 4 year gap and it works quite well but my daughter was quite upset by seeing me vomiting everywhere and the IV needles etc.

Good luck with all my heart if you decide to go through it again.

Also - anyone else had this?

Even now (2 years later) if I don't eat late at night by morning I am sometimes retching into a bucket. Rarely actually sick, but sometimes retching. Seems to be hormone dependent, depending on cycle, and I've always had mild 'morning sickness' on the pill. I wonder if it's some weird pavlovian response to feeling hungry, and I know one other person who reports the same thing 15 years after she had HG!