To ask if you had v bad HG the 1st time.......

[BadDoGooder]

Did you have it the second time?

I have a DS aged 3.10, the pregnancy was truly horrific.
From about 6 weeks I was throwing up or feeling sick constantly.
I was hospitalized 5 times during the pregnancy, for a total of 10 weeks.
It was a real struggle, and had to give up work, really early on as I just couldn't cope, the only thing that saved me was the support of DP and a couple of very close friends, who were/are brilliant.

The reason I ask is, I had those early sicky symptoms a little while ago (it was a bug I think), and it threw up a debate we had never had before.
While DP already has two adult DDs we do sort of feel it would be nice for DS to have a sibling close to his age, but I absolutely cannot do that pregnancy again.
I hate hospitals anyway, and 10 weeks of that, plus not being able to eat anything/do anything and the traumatic birth coupled with DS's v worrying 2 weeks in SCBU with some very frightening potential outcomes, I can't help but feel it's not worth it.
So as not to drip feed, I have been pregnant before DS (I had a termination) and I had severe HG then as well, so I'm assuming my body just hates being pregnant!

So....AIBU to ask if you did/would do it again? And was it as bad the second time around?

Posted too soon I was hospitalised every time, repeatedly. I think I spent more time on a drip than not. With ds3 and DD, I was even on a drip for 3 days after delivery. I also developed pre eclampsia twice, had ridiculous SPD, think wheelchair, and had pregnancy cardiomyopathy with ds4.

My pregnancy with DS was completely horrific. Like you, I was hospitalised repeatedly for rehydration. I spent most of the pregnancy near suicidal. All I could think of was ending it. People may think that's being dramatic or selfish but desperation is a powerful side effect of Ketosis, which I had the entire time. Also like you, my doctors were incredibly ill-informed regarding having it with future children. Having then experienced a horrific childbirth which ended in EMCS and almost cost both me and DS our lives, DP and I have decided not to try for a second.

If you think you are strong enough (I'm definitely not!) then you might feel it's worth it. As PP have said, there's things you can out in place, childcare, prepping your GP re anti-sickness meds etc.

I'm sorry to say that mine got worse with each pregnancy.

I was also told by my consultant that it can be to do with the father. So someone who has babies to two different men could have it with one man and not the other.

Second time was much better because finally I was puking rather than feeling constantly sick. It meant I was taken seriously, put on meds and given advice. I still lost 2st, DH pretty much had to take over in the evenings, was hospitalised twice and I puked on DS1 more than once... But I knew it would end. It wouldn't put me off having a third but I completely sympathise if it does for you.

I had it with my first but not with the next two. I wasn't sure if it was a boy thing actually because I didn't even feel slightly nauseous with the second and third yet was severely sick until 16 weeks with DS... Probably not but that was my only theory.

Mine was worse this time around. I've only coped because I have a lot of family support with my toddler and was signed off work for months but fortunately get good sick pay. Without those positive factors I would have been unable to cope at all.

When planning this pregnancy I followed a care plan in discussion with my GP ( the pregnancy sickness support organisation suggested it). I took cyclizine and vitamin b6 as soon as I found out I was pregnant as there is some evidence this can help. I went on to become very ill but perhaps I would have been even worse if I had not done so. I also went to hospital sooner rather than trying to cope at home so I wouldn't get horribly dehydrated. I still ended up on 3 medication until ondansatron which mainly worked but I was still being rehydrated on a drip. It's not a positive story but perhaps you could discuss a care plan with your GP?

My DD suffered severe HG with her first pregnancy 4 years ago , she was basically at home in bed throwing up 30 + times a day , 3 hospital admissions with dehydration , improved after 24 weeks .

She was terrified to have another baby , thought maybe it would be different ...... It was far worse 😳from 5/6 weeks she had 2 admissions at the local hospital for IV fluids and medication , they would not give Ondansetron which is expensive but helps a lot of women with HG . She was so ill had to move back in with us for full time care of her and her little boy. Spent days vomiting in a dark room - she couldn't cae for her son at all .
At 8 weeks I took her to a big teaching hospital where she was admitted again , and had IV fluids iv cyclizine IV ondansetron meta loperamide thiamine stemetil and ranitidine, she improved vastly on this regime and followed a pattern of 3 days admission -home -deterioration , back in and repeat . Ondansetron definitely helped after a few more admissions ! I asked if I could give her Intramuscular njections of Stemetil at home ( ex nurse) this was the turning point for her and around 12 weeks she started to be able to eat and drink .she had lost 2.5 stones in 6 weeks . She kept a strict regime of her anti sickness meds and only needed the injections for a few weeks She moved back to her home and returned to work at 18 weeks and is now very well in fact ' blooming ' and 30 weeks pregnant , still taking anti sickness tablets .
She has said she could never go through another pregnancy . I know that in the States women with severe HG have constant ondansetron pumps , which must really help , it is a truly awful thing . It's a hard decision OP .
Maybe district nurse/ midwife could give IM anti sickness injections?

Lots of research/evidence to show majority of women with HG become worse with each pregnancy.

There is a big community of HG women on Twitter that are very supportive. Some have gone on to have another child. I know I never will. I can barely contemplate it TBH.

Mine also became worse with each one.

I've since become a very "sicky" person. I used to have a strong stomach, but now I heave at even emptying the bin.

It's an awful thing to go through. I hope you get a LOT of support (I didn't - DP wouldn't go fetch milk when we ran out. It was the ONLY thing I could keep down), practically and emotionally.

I had it both times. The second time I was prepared, stayed hydrated from the second I got that bfp and got meds early. My eldest learnt how to rub my back while I threw up and we played on the bed, while I lay very still, for many months. I felt incredibly guilty. I taught whilst this all happened too. Having the other child made it go faster than the first time where all I had to think about was feeling beyond horrendous 24 hours a day for the whole time.

It was worth it but we will not have a third.

My eldest (almost 4) can vomit into a toilet or bowl perfectly which does help with sick bugs etc!

My eldest also adores her sister so I do know those rough few months, not that she really noticed as we were prepared and had activities ready, were beyond worth it.

Don't do it your unsure. I'm currently 16 weeks with DC2 and HG is so much worse this time. I'm completely incapacitated, been off work for 10 weeks and can barely function. It's awful.

DS is almost 4 and really misses me. I feel horrible about that. He starts school in sept and I feel like I've missed out on our last time together. Also feel horrible about work but I'm an HCP and no way can I cope with bodily functions so can't see how I'm going to get back anytime soon. DH has had to do everything and it's out a huge strain on us. People lose impatience/interest once you go past 12 weeks and still feel ill, which I had forgotten from last time.

In all honestly, if I'd known it would be this bad I would have stopped at DS.

So ill with my first (girl) over 60 times I was sick. Did get easier once I hit 20 weeks though. With my second (boy) I felt sick all the time but wasn't sick. However it was still a struggle as I had to constantly eat carbs (bonus!) but was bed bound a lot in that time and trying to look after my daughter was hard. This eased around 15 weeks.
I don't think I'll be having a third

I think I felt worse with DS2 but I'm not sure if the sickness was worse iykwim. With DS1 I only had to please myself, I could sleep when I wanted etc, whereas I found it really hard to be in charge of toddler at the same time. DS loves. The bath so I would run one for him to play in while I threw up into the toilet. After all that though I have found myself thinking of DC3, although I can't even think about that till DS2 is in school so I would have daytimes to rest.

I had HG with all three. Hospitalised with first but managed by the skin of my teeth to stay out of hospital with the other two by taking ondansetron from 4 weeks. It was truly awful trying to watch the other children while feeling like death. Could not do it again. I am so proud I managed to have the three I have.

Worse second time for me too. Ds1 spent at least six months watching in the night garden while I groaned on the sofa. That bastard iggle piggle still makes me feel queasy.

I wouldn't be without my ds2 though, it was all worth it!!

Less bad with second, bad again with third though work were bastards so I couldn't rest properly and was under much stress which made it worse.

Yes I had it the second time, it was about the same.

Wow, thanks for all the replies. So many of you who did it again, you have my total respect and admiration!

I think I might be able to do it, if I had the right childcare and help, but that's not going to be the case at all, while DP is excellent, his job is inflexible, and he won't be around to help much. DS is starting school in Sept, and I won't have any help or childcare before, or after then, so I'm heavily leaning towards no more, at least for a couple of years.

But I have taken note of all the things I would need to do, and top of that list is finding an understanding HCP who would be willing to dish out the meds!

Does anyone know why some of us get hg so bad? I've tried googling, but the answers are vague. My GP, and the consultants at my local hospital couldn't really say either, if any of you have spoken to an interested hcp, did they know why?

Yes you do need an HCP willing to dish out Meds, I was treated like a silly woman who couldn't handle morning sickness by my female GP.

She said taking Meds was not necessary. Second pregnancy the GP said Meds would harm the baby.

Third pregnancy I was with a different doctor and she prescribed me cyclazine but only 7 days supply as she didn't want me becoming too dependant on them

I didn't have full blown HG with DD but was horrendously sick until 20w - while I avoided hospital and was able to drag myself into work as it was an easy desk job and an easy commute, it was still bloody awful and I hated it. I did terminate an unplanned pregnancy when DD was nearly 2 because I knew I couldn't go through it again with a toddler.

I'm now 9w with DC2. The sickness is rough, but not quite as bad as before. I don't know whether it is less bad or I'm just managing it better, starting meds immediately, making sure I graze constantly so I don't get hungry and sick. Also I seem to find the distraction of needing to be up and looking after DD helps a little. I think I did a lot of miserable wallowing during my first pregnancy

It has been well planned though. DD is now has a full-time nursery place so that she can be there, being entertained and distracted, if I am poorly. Or I can work from home if I'm too ill to travel to work. If you can't afford f/t nursery, then maybe think about waiting until he's at school? Then you might find more help. He'll be at school most of the day, and if you make friends with other mums, you'll be bound to find people who will help out the odd day after school if they know how ill you are.

I had HG with my second pregnancy.

I ended up having 5 kids (despite pretty severe PCOS).

First pregnancy, I was having non-identical twins and miscarried one at 12 weeks, but the rest of the pregnancy and the labour were easy and uneventful. Labour lasted 67 minutes. All the sickness vanished when I miscarried one of the babies so I think it was related to carrying twins.

Second pregnancy a nightmare. I had hyperemesis for 20 weeks - literally threw up all day if I moved. If I stayed in bed I was OK. But I had a full time job...

Baby was 3 weeks late as I had a different consultant this time and she didn't believe in inducing. As a result he was massive (nearly 2lb - 3lbss bigger than my others). Labour was 21 minutes but it had no pattern to it and was the most terrifying experience of my life (subsequent ones were easier, as was the first).

Every pregnancy is very different.

I was incredibly ill with 2, but not 1 or 3. I was ill in a different way (kidney problems, hospitalised twice, and once they had to stop me going into early labour) with No 4. No 5 was uneventful apart from him lying in a bad position towards the end.

All bets are off.

But yes out out 5 pregnancies only HG with one, kidney infections with one (which was truly worse than HG - I'm not even sure what I was throwing up but it was scary).

I had HG with both of mine, hospitalised numerous times with both. Second time was worse as I didn't respond to the various med combinations so the doctors spoke about termination. Luckily I didn't have to go down that route.

One thing I will say is that the guilt of basically being MIA for 9 months was horrendous. DD1 was 5 and I still feel so bad that I let her down during the pregnancy. HG is a huge strain on your mental health anyway and the guilt on top of that was almost unbearable.

Second time was worse as I was less able to rest and had a toddler to look after, I was hospitalized a few times and family were fantastic, don't know what I would have done without family on hand to take dd when needed. DH had a supportive employer which also helped.
Sorry I can't say it was fine second time around.

I had the entirety of my first pregnancy off sick with HG and we waited until our eldest was at school before having a second partly for that reason - I was probably worse the second time and spent a lot of time in hospital - we have a 6.5 yr age gap and frankly my DC do not get on at all although I doubt my eldest would have got on with any sibling regardless of age gap as he was very happy as an only child .