If this was YOUR child's school would YOU move them.

[FlowerySkull]

Have N/C Firstly this is long, some of it will seem petty, some of it less so. I want to state everything as I want a genuine opinion on all facts.

I have a dd in secondary school and we have been having some issues. I have posted about some of these before so please bear with me.

Firstly she has learning difficulties, she is also very quiet.

Recently she was a victim of a serious incident which involved being threatened with a weapon, schools communication of this incident was awful, I made a formal complaint and have now been told that the year head will not discuss issues about dd with me anymore. I want to add that I have sent three emails in the last year to the year head (as is the proper channel even for minor issues or things or messages for the form teacher) so I am not a parent who is always pestering them.

Other issues. They identified her for mentoring as she was not meeting her potential. I became aware that all the other children who were doing mentoring had already started. DD wasn't. I chased it up, they said they had been busy and had not had chance to do it and would. I then received a letter stating dd had done so well on the mentoring course that she had been taken off it. However they had never started it.

I am consistently being told issues which relate to her sen at parents evenings only to find out the teacher does not know she has sen. This has happened on several occasions now despite reassurances it won't.

When dd was going abroad on a school trip they had promised her (as an sen student) that they organised sessions every year for children who needed more support to get to know others, especially those who were going alone without friends. (all dds friends dropped out after Charlie Hebdo attack) but dd at that time still wanted to go. They also promised they would make sure that she had at least one person she at least knew in her hotel room. They didn't.

While away she contacted me in a state, one of the boys who is a child regularly in trouble in school had started to target her, he got a whole bunch of his friends to target dd, They totally ruined her trip. DD is admittedly oversensitive anyway but he accused dd of biting him because she had stick out teeth and got lots of his cronies to taunt her. DD had reported this to the teachers in charge and they had done nothing initially. This happened three more times. Eventually I text them and they said dd was lying as she had said it had happened again on the coach and they said it had not and had been sorted already. (I later found out off another child this was not true) they eventually moved dd away from the only people she knew away from the boy but then let him sit behind her and taunt her again when they next stopped. The name calling continued for around 8 weeks in school although her form teacher did then deal with it.

When dd started back at school at the start of a new year she was lambasted in front of her class. She had moved up a set in English. The rules in her previous set had been you must always find out your reading levels from the library staff and pick a book within those levels to read. So if your level is 4.2 - 6.4 you must pick a book between that.The second rule was you must ALWAYS have a library book in class. DD had done this and had actually picked the lower end of the levels but not realising the new set teacher insisted they start off at the bottom of the level 4.2. Instead of explaining to dd she shouted at her in front of the whole class 'I don't know why YOU have picked that book for, when you are getting 100 percent on tests then you can choose (dd incidentally did get 100% on the next test) DD was heartbroken.

Sorry I said it was long! DD does not want to go back and I am reluctant to move her as the other options are not fantastic but feel entirely frustrated with them.

I'd move her for most of those reasons individually, let alone all together.

I'd home school if there wasn't another school available, she would NOT be going back. If I worked and wasn't in a position to stay at home I'd find a way of gettng her looked after during the day, working on stuff, reading what she likes & having some fun then spending time in the evening weekends making sure she was progressing.

Whatever it took, I'd do it, she'd be going back to that school over my dead body.

Move her. The negative effect on her self esteem will outweigh any positives from the academics.

Can you home ed her while you find a better school?

As others have said the poorly handled weapon incident would be enough for me.

Ithink I have not been confrontational at all. I have been told if I want to discuss matters I need to contact the deputy head.

This followed an email asking politely if a suspended for an incident against my child pupil would be going back into her form when they returned because my dd was getting worked up about not knowing.

Previous email was a factual complaint to the head and year head in regards to their handing of the situation.

I could have guessed it would be an academy! Refusing to communicate with parents is a favourite trick of one of the academies I work with. The LA still has a duty to promote equality and will have an Equalities Officer somewhere within it's SEN department. It would be worth speaking to them if only to raise your concerns. It might add to a bigger picture.

I would move schools. It sounds like your dd is having a really horrible time.

I do remember reading the kinife incident...

I would be doing tow things...Get hold of the complaints procedure...Make a formal complaint...These need to be logged and OFSTED do see them.. but I would be looking at the other school.. Look at Ofsted reports ..Ask the questions.. My DS is only 8 but has additional education needs so when we start looking at high schools we do need to look how those needs will be supported not necessarily the results of the kids without.

Schools will not discuss the other child - especially in an email -

Did you mention DD state of Mind?

Does she have a counsellor or mentor ? Has she ever been referred to CAMHS?

Ask for a meeting - take a friend - you obviously need some sort of reassurance (which should have been fourth coming)

...and have now been told that the year head will not discuss issues about dd with me anymore

As a teacher, I find that extraordinary alone. The school sounds like they do not take you, or your DD's needs seriously. Whether or not she is statemented, all her teachers should know she has SEN, and even if she didn't, frankly most of the stuff you'd mentioned is very bad practice anyway. The whole English book thing sounds nuts. God forbid children should want to stretch themselves! I wouldn't set a limit like that, and I'm in primary!

I would move her if possible. This doesn't seem like something the school are willing or able to make better. And I would absolutely make a formal complaint, in whatever form that takes for an academy.

I'm sorry this is happening to both of you.

Just for the record the person who I have now been told to deal with doesn't know my child or her needs and has had no dealings with her at all and to be honest after attending a year specific curriculum evening in which he concentrated almost entirely on boys and showed power points of how terrible the world would be if women run it i.e high heeled shoes instead of hammers in a tool box and roars of 'we can't have that can we men' which some people may find funny but i think is a bit crap I have no wish to really.

Do not just limit yourself to schools with places, if you find one which suits your DD you can appeal for a place.
I would remove her because of the danger from the incident. I would also take her to see the GP and get both her stress logged and her referred for further assessment.

Sally they had happily told me how long the child had been suspended for and such and did infact reply so that is not the case. I actually put in my email i understood if they couldn't.

Yes i have told them dd doesn't want to return to school. They also know dd has been really worried and has had bad dreams.

Firstly the school sound like they have not dealt with the knife incident well at all - but they cannot discuss with you another child's punishment - they should, however, have been able to guarantee your daughter's safety.

The reading issue appears to be the accelerated reading scheme that many schools do. The pupils do a reading test that assesses all aspects of reading from comprehension to ability. The scores that are given are in a large range where the lowest will be one aspect of her reading - she may be a fantastic reader but, for example, she may be a lower level on understanding non-fiction. The idea is that they read their lowest level and with each pass they move up to the next therefore improving base level skills. I would never shout at a pupil for reading the wrong level though.

And finally, yes, move your daughter.

On the very long waiting list for camhs as dd has been struggling with school for ages.

Sawdust thank you. Interesting to hear from a teacher as sometimes with the responses i get I am left feeling i am asking for too much :(

they should, however, have been able to guarantee your daughter's safety
Unfortunately no school is able to do this. It is impossible unless every child is being supervise every second they are on school site

As a teacher I say definitely remove your daughter. Until she has a new school place ask the school to provide learning materials suitable for your dd - they should be able to comply. This will take some pressure off you whilst trying to find an alternative school.

I would also put in a formal complaint about the school to their governors and ofsted.

Your poor DD doesn't need to go back to this hellish environment.

Good god. Move her. And I say that as someone who is 100% in favour of working with schools and 100% not in favour of disrupting children's education with unnecessary moves. I too would have put money on it being an academy. OFSTED will take safeguarding complaints without you having to go through the 3 stage process and actually even if they're playing the 'we're an academy card' LA can still go in to deal with safeguarding.

Peaceofpurple it is accelerated reading. As I said to school I have no issue what so ever with her being asked to read a lower level book for your valid reasons. I only had issues with her being shouted at and made to feel stupid :(

I moved my son. I have no regrets at all. I did however, write to the chair of governors explaining exactly why the school had failed in their duty of care towards my son. Maybe one day they might listen; the bully continues to bully other children. Happily it is no longer my problem but I felt I had done my bit.

Now I concentrate on the new school. It's remarkable how much better it is at dealing with things. A teacher friend once said to me that when you take on a school that thinks it is right you will never win. I didn't, and for that reason I wish I'd moved my son earlier. He's very happy now.

Please move your DD if at all possible.

I was bullied too at school and it was foul and I have never, ever forgotten it (and it happened over 45 years ago)

I'd move her, childhood is too short for this.

I'm a teacher and parent of a 14 year old dd with Sen, I didn't even get to the weapon bit and thought you absolutely need to move her. Don't discount schools in special measures, or are less attractive... To you for whatever reason ... Sometimes those schools have far more experience with Sen and better support... xx

Wht wouldn't you move her, do you have any concerns about changing schools?

I once taught in one the worst schools in Britain - if you looked at GCSE results.

However, it is still one of my fondest memories and I've been teaching for over 20 years. The staff were so committed to the kids. We knew those kids incredibly well, worked hard with them and it was really just one of the best teams I've ever been a part of.

The 'value added' for student results was through the roof, but our GCSE results were still bad because of the intake we had. We got terrible OFSTED reports because of this.

But it was the perfect fit for the right kids.

So - go to visit the schools. Some are on special measures because the staff don't care, others have brilliant teachers but poor results for other reasons. Find out about the schools, talk to the SENCO and make up your mind based on where your DD will be happy.

Sorry can I just add my complaint about the weapon incident was not because they wouldn't share info about the pupil involved (although they did disclose this info to all children involved and me) my complaint was due to complete radio silence, no communication, no reassurance and the fact that they told me when I reported the incident that they would call me when they had spoken to those involved and never did and then got huffy with me when I asked why no one had rang.

Thankyou will definately look at the special measures schools.