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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that parent and child car parking spaced should have an age limit of 5 years.

245 replies

buntingbingo · 27/03/2016 09:26

Or be put at the back of the car park?

I have 3 dcs eldest is 9. Youngest is 2 months. Going to the supermarket is now a massive pain in the arse as there are never and p&c spaces.
I see people with giant kids who are perfectly able to walk, why do they need them? It's not the closeness to the shop that's useful, it's the extra width I need.
I end up struggling to get the baby seat out.
I think if they were at the back of the car park then people wouldn't bother with them unless they need the extra space. Or enforcing a lower age limit might stop the lazy people with big kids taking up all the spaces.
Rant over.
(Disclaimer. Obviously I'm not talking about anyone with special needs or disability, just kids capable of walking and perhaps shock helping to carry a bag or two)

OP posts:

honkinghaddock · 31/03/2016 13:57

Unlucky83- I was talking about nt children. It is different if you have a child with sn. My ds has to wear a harness if he is walking and not in his sn buggy because he is 9 with the understanding of road safety of a baby and challenging behaviour. It is either buggy, harness or don't leave the house.

unlucky83 · 31/03/2016 15:08

honking I know ....but...I didn't actually know DD1 had sn until she was 14 - I did start to seriously suspect by the age of 8 when she hadn't grown out of certain things and people made comments (another parent described her as wild) and I could compare her with more children her age.
First child, none of my friends or siblings had children. Everyone says having children is hard, every child is loud, noisy and energetic, has tantrums, doesn't sleep etc...
(I did have her assessed at around 3 but that was tied into something else and she behaved perfectly - I was told I should be proud of her, a lovely, intelligent, 'normal' child ...then she had an horrific tantrum in the car park and I felt like going back getting the Dr to show them)
I just thought she was a lively, slightly difficult, awkward, stubborn child and I was being a bit pfb. After all DD1 was/is very like me - (I am now pretty sure I have ADHD too). And I might just be a crap parent.
So my child wouldn't get a special parking badge - she would be the one getting run over, smashing the car door into another car etc etc ...because I didn't know she had SN. I was just doing the best I could...
And how many times do people complain how long it takes to get a diagnosis? (DD1 took a couple of months cos of years of evidence - if I had tried at 5 I think it would have taken years)

honkinghaddock · 31/03/2016 15:25

I understand. It is people with average toddlers who go on about how hard it is to control them and then say those with older children with difficulties shouldn't use them, that irritate me. I think people of any age should be able to use the spaces. I'll see nothing wrong with using them with ds even when he is an adult.

unlucky83 · 31/03/2016 16:07

Sorry honking we are on the same page then ...it was the they are completely unnecessary brigade I was getting upset with -
And the OP really as I used a P&C parking space up to DD2 being 8ish - as long as I could do without being too embarrassed to and only if there were a few empty. But it was mainly for DD1 (13-14)... to avoid the stress of me needing to remember to remind her not to fling the door open and I still remind her now at 15...but if I forget there is a better chance she will remember...
if that makes sense...

IloveAntbuthateDec · 31/03/2016 20:35

If you go to the supermarket and all the p&c spaces are full do you drive back out again? Or is it possible that you can manage to park in a regular space and control your children the same as most parents if need be?

zoemaguire · 01/04/2016 13:30

Yes, it is possible ilove, just like you could walk to the supermarket if you had to, even if it was 10 miles away. It is just less convenient.

Sirzy · 01/04/2016 13:35

But that's the whole point. It is about convenience not need. Barring disabled spaces (unless you have a blue badge) you park in the most convient available space for you. If a space isn't free park elsewhere and stop worrying about who else is parked there.

zoemaguire · 01/04/2016 20:10

OK call it relative need if you prefer. If you're an able-bodied adult and you think your 'need' to not walk an extra 30 metres to the supermarket door and to open your car door extra wide just for kicks trumps the need of a lone parent with a tiny baby and two toddlers, then it is quite simple, you are a selfish arse.

IloveAntbuthateDec · 01/04/2016 21:18

"OK call it relative need if you prefer. If you're an able-bodied adult and you think your 'need' to not walk an extra 30 metres to the supermarket door and to open your car door extra wide just for kicks trumps the need of a lone parent with a tiny baby and two toddlers, then it is quite simple, you are a selfish arse"

Are you not an able bodied adult Zoe? What do you think might happen to your children if there were no p&c spaces? If you really cannot manage your children in a supermarket car park maybe on line shopping is better suited to your needs?

zoemaguire · 01/04/2016 22:55

how self-righteous is it possible to get ilove?! What a snide little misery of a comment. If you can't imagine why a parent with three small children might benefit more than the average solo adult from a wider, safer car parking space, then really the failure of imagination is all yours.

And as a matter of fact, no, I never take my kids to the supermarket if I can possibly avoid it, I leave them at home with their dad and do it in peace. I'm a pretty shit parent, I know, but at least I have enough empathy to realise that it is actually quite usual for people to find managing multiple small children quite stressful. Must be lonely up on that perfect parenting pedestal sometimes, I imagine.

Samcro · 01/04/2016 23:03

GrumpyMummy123 i think you are a GF
ffs grow up

Bails2014 · 01/04/2016 23:12

I notice a difference between supermarkets, Aldi has about three, Sainsbury's has about a dozen and Waitrose has at least twenty including half a dozen underground.

Therefore this leaves me with no option but to go shopping in Waitrose most of the time to avoid being annoyed at having to park in a normal space and ruin my already damaged back to get child in and out.

Samcro · 01/04/2016 23:14

i think they are a good idea.....but sadly every thread I have ever seen on mn some dick head compares them with BB bays.
their is no comparison.

IloveAntbuthateDec · 02/04/2016 13:23

Zoe. If there are no p&c spaces available parents of young children usually manage to park in a regular space therefore these spaces are not essential. Great if you can get one. No big deal if you cant.

zoemaguire · 02/04/2016 16:46

I never said they were! I said that if somebody (like those up-thread) uses them as an able-bodied adult without small kids, they are being phenomenally selfish, as they are there for people with a greater need i.e. parents with small children.

IloveAntbuthateDec · 09/04/2016 01:39

Because of course we all know that small children will combust if their parent has to park in a perfectly normal car parking space. Have you ever wondered why some people without children need a larger space? Maybe they have a real need for one?

zoemaguire · 10/04/2016 10:51

Gah! They won't combust. We've agreed on that. And yes I'm sure some people without kids might need one. But those that don't are lazy and selfish. It's really not that complicated.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 10/04/2016 10:58

How does having small children place you in the category of having a greater need?

unlucky83 · 10/04/2016 12:03

Having small children who need to be strapped into their seats is a greater need.
Just noticed this thread is active again - and I was thinking about it yesterday.
I said up thread and I'll say it again - I think normal parking spaces should be bigger -even an extra foot would make a big difference.
Like I said I don't use P&C any more. Yesterday went to Ikea -don't go often it is a trek for us. But did notice they have lovely big 'normal' spaces (reason I thought about this thread)
Locally even at the out of town supermarkets where there are generally lots of free spaces further from the store even at Christmas etc - the spaces are tiny.
I don't drive a massive car but usually have to squeeze out myself - open the door a less than a foot to give the DCs slightly more space - enough to open their door to the first stop iykwim. At Ikea I could easily open the doors like that at both sides. It was so nice I noticed...

(And before anyone jumps on me before I do park slightly to one side of a bay I check I'm not next to the drivers door and there are no DC seats in the back -so not desperately inconveniencing someone parked right in the middle of a bay - unless they have an adult/older child passenger who couldn't squeeze in through the gap I did (I'm not skinny) - in that case they may need to back out first if nec -which I agree would be a slight inconvenience -and I've also noticed that people on their own usually park to one side leaving themselves more room to get out)

Sanchar · 10/04/2016 12:09

i use them with my 8 &5 yo because i have terrible back problems and cannot do the twist and bend to clip them in. although capable of clipping themselves in in theory, in reality their booster seats cover the plug bit so an adult needs to do it.

I'm not fucking my back up even more because developers want to cram as many spaces as possible in, leaving most cars about 8in door opening space.

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