Aibu over weekend away or are my friends?

[Underdogsbollocks]

Me and my friends are in our last year of uni and to celebrate the end of exams decided to book a weekend away in a holiday cottage. There's 20 of us altogether so from the start we knew it would be hard to find a weekend we could all make it. As it turns out the one weekend the other 19 can do is the one weekend I can't as I go away with my boyfriend on the Monday (could do fri-sun). So I said it was fine just go without me, and that was that. They finally got round to booking the cottage last week and were told they would now have to vacate by 12pm on the Sunday, not the Monday thus meaning I could go as I would be back home by Sunday night. The accommodation has cost each person £38 for the two nights so I asked the group if they would all be happy for me to pay them back £2 each so I could come and we all will have paid the same (well I would have paid an extra £2 which I'm not bothered about). Everyone was happy with this arrangement apart from two of the girls who have said I made my decision not to come and I need to stick to it as it is going to mess up how much everyone has paid. Now I could understand this if it meant I had to pay everyone £20 or something but it's not, it's £2. AIBU in thinking they are being unreasonable for kicking up a fuss over £2 each or AIBU thinking I should be able to go?

If its 20 people and only 2 have a problem, just ignore them and go anyway.

Oh, and accidentally send it to the whole group ... and wait!

If they are your good friends then give them a call/ direct message them in a friendly way and say you are really excited now you can come and really looking forward to it. Do it in a way that shows you are assuming it is ok - as it sounds there's no other reason why you can't! Ask what the best way to pay your share will be if they think you giving everyone £2 back will be a bit of a pain. Say you'll go to the bank and get the change if necessary!
Why on earth would you say you can't go? - it's going to cost them LESS not more!
Offer to take last dibbs on where you sleep or something as you didn't think you were going to make it.
It was that you thought you COULDN'T go, not that you didn't want to.

Blanche, I'd send it BLATANTLY to the whole group! It's everyone's money and trip and therefore everyone's business.

Thanks for the advice, being annoyed I'm going away with my boyfriend is the only reason I could think they would be annoyed BUT they both know it was booked last summer and I had originally suggested going to them, not my boyfriend, but they turned my offer down.

With them, not to them.

Maybe they have arranged some trips or surprise events etc that have already been organised for a certain number.

Or maybe they are just being mean because as the organisers they can.

Ask them in writing txt/email exactly what the problem is, as nobody else can see it. Then deal with it logically in front of others, or get them to ask on your behalf.

They will have to either accept you or produce a valid reason not to.

Just ring one of them up and say you'd really like to come, sorry to mess about, have you missed something that means you can't or done something to upset them, in which case you're sorry.

Don;t know why you didn't just say you'd go Fri - Sun in the first place though, and go home early?

a cottage for 33 people

Either you are all very small people, or are sleeping 8 to a room - a cottage to me is a small, 2 storey rural house.

I do think it's odd that your initial response was "fine go without me", rather than "great I'll come for as long as I can"

It sounds as if they don't really like you, were pleased you couldn't 'fit in' and are now being obstructive.

It's probably one of the girls 'leading the charge' with the other hanging on. Is there the presence of some other person involved? Eg someone one of them is after but who really rather likes you?

All sorts of possibilities but whatever way, I would forget about it and forget about them. It doesn't sound as if they're real friends and neither does it sound as if it would be a good event for you.

Have a good time away with your boyfriend.

Does seem a strange response by them.

Is there a back ground to this though.... as sometimes what appears a minor issue is the one that tips the balance.

Do you change plans a lot? Have a tendency to want things your own way?

You may not even realise that you are like that.

A dear friend of mine is quite hard work in that she is always trying to fit more in which results in her changing plans a lot. I am generally able to comply but on the occasion I can't, instead of just accepting that she will try and find ways round so that she still gets what she wants.

It can be quite draining.

I really think there is more to this than you realise

Of course you can still go, just do it, Ignore their stupid, rude, hurtful behaviour & have fun with the others.

Are they thinking that they are the ones who'll have to send the £2 back to everyone? If so it's obviously easily resolved.

I agree with diddl - it probably seemed strange that you turned down a Friday to Monday weekend away just because you were going away with your boyfriend on the Monday - you could have easily paid the full amount and just left on the Sunday.

They probably felt snubbed, and now are being petty in return. Do you think that's possible?

Seems very unreasonable of them to me. Surely they would be really happy you could now go and it's a little bit cheaper for everyone. There's loads of room, you're are helping others get there so what's the problem? I would speak to them face to face or on the phone. Would be a real shame to miss out. Are they the bitchy sort?

Imho yanbu tbf.

Just ignore the 2 friends comments. No one else has an issue so they will be outnumbered in any attempts to exclude you.

Id turn up with the 38 pounds in coins and in front of everyone tell them you have your share here to pay however they would like it (ie 2 pounds each, or 38 pounds into a food/drink fund etc)

By doing this in front of everyone you will avoid any bitchy comments behind your back about not paying etc

I would pretend to get the wrong end of the stick and say 'oh sorry I thought I'd mentioned that I'll refund everyone £2 each to cover my share. Happy to do so in coins or via bank transfer. Sorry I should have made clear.
Also friends 1,2,3&4 (name them) do you want me to give you a lift up to save you getting the train, petrol will only be £x each?'

Then the two mean girls will have to explicitly say they don't want you to come and why. Majority rules in these cases and the majority are happy plus you did most of the leg work in finding the place.

Their response makes no sense whatsoever.

Unless there is sonething else going on

How, on earth, can anyone putting more money in to the pot possibly be a problem?

I think they felt snubbed. Even if they'd stayed until the Monday I don't see why you couldn't have left on the Sunday and gone anyway. That would irritate me a bit.

Or would it be about the travel arrangements? Say you wouldn't have left on Sunday if you had to get a train back on your own, but now they're all leaving Sun and you can get a lift you're happy to go.

Either way, if I was in that situation I would probably feel annoyed that you couldn't be bothered to make much of an effort to go either way.

Having said that throwing fits to get you uninvited is childish and taking it too far, even if they are annoyed.

I messaged them privately and they both said they we're joking, although imo some of the things they said clearly weren't s joke. I have then gone on to ask if they are happy for me to pay everyone £2 when I see them next and they said they didn't understand check with everyone else. So I think the problem all along has been them not understanding how I would pay, despite a lengthy explanation last week. They still don't understand but have taken everyone else in the groups word for it that I will in fact have paid more than them.

Really funny joke.

They sound a bit thick, TBH, as well as not all that nice. I hope your other friends are nicer.

Before I read the similar views, I straight away thought it was to do with you declining to begin with.
I think it's quite odd to miss Fri-Sun because you're going away Mon. I'd have seen it as a snub and honestly thought "fuck you then". Especially as you were so involved in booking it - just seems weird. I don't get you at all - I doubt they did either.

That said, of course the only response I'd make is "so glad you can come now!"

I want to know where this cottage that sleeps 33 is............

Okay maybe cottage wasn't the best word to describe it but that's how it is described on the website tbh, it's just a very big house in Shropshire. I had originally said I wouldn't go because the same two girls were making a fuss over leaving a day early as it would 'mess up' the food/drink kitty, even though I had said I was happy to put the same amount in as everyone else, I thought they were being a bit funny then but just ignored it. The only reason I can honestly think of is because it's my boyfriend I'm going away with, but even that doesn't make sense as I had originally asked them if they wanted to go and they turned me down, that's when I asked my boyfriend.