To think oh's friends/relatives should put my name on any cards/gifts they send my toddler?

[Hmm24]

I think it's rude to just put my son's name/care of my husband or just my husband's name. I don't like the friend that does this and don't like being treated like I don't exist when it comes to my son.

Sounds rude.

I never put anyone else's name on the envelope though. Just the baby or child's.

Seriously? It's not for you, it's for your son, what does it matter whose name is on it?!

My mil is like this. It may be a mistake though, have you fallen out?

It isn't yours it is your sons. Can't see the issue tbh.

MIL addresses presents to DS to him directly, or to DH. I've never even considered getting worked up about it. Do you have issues with these people in general?

I only ever put the DC name on cards and gifts even if I send it through the post.

I think your dislike of your OHs friend is affecting your view on this.

I sometimes only put my friend's names on things like that. It's because I want my friend to know I've thought of them and not have their DP open/give it to child and my friend never to know, especially when it's a birthday or new baby and lots of cards and gifts may be arriving. Although to be fair I am more likely to do this when I think their partner is not considerate.

What difference does it make? I doubt they do it just to annoy you

If the friend or relative is more connected with me they might just use my name, if more OH's friend/rellie then maybe his. Or just DC's of course. No big deal either way. A back-story here?

Why does it matter if it's addressed to or c/o your DH as long as DS gets it? Why does it need your name on it?

I would also put child's name and if c/o then c/o Mr and Mrs. My s.i.l
also does this. Don't people realise when it comes to children and the mum's at home it's c/o mum.

I just write the child's name on, if it's being posted I'd put the persons name on I had a connection with.

I would usually put the DC's name. I can see that I might put one parent's name on the outer wrapping of a package that I was sending through the post - no idea why I make a mental distinction between a package and an envelope, because I'd definitely put the child's name on an envelope through the post.

But if I were to put "Mrs S D" on a package that I was sending for her DC ("S" being primarily my friend who I knew long before she married), rather than "& Mr D D", it's hard to imagine Mr DD giving a rat's toss.

Something else is presumably going on here - perhaps you think the friend does not like you? you don't like them?

Why only c/o mum?

Isn't the OP talking about the C/o just being her husband's name though - rather than either just being addressed to the toddler or jointly with her husband, which suggests she doesn't exist.

Yes, fully agree. I have a brother in law who addresses Christmas cards to just his brother and then puts and family inside. I think it's pure ignorance rather than anything sinister, but if you're a sensitive type it can come across as rude / demeaning. I doubt any harm intended.

i've seen some petty shit on AIBU in the last few months but i think this topic wins the most petty tbh.

Someone sends something to a child and doesn't include the mums name?
in the grand scheme of things, who gives a pile of gnats shit?

Just read comments... Thanks. Yes maybe I being a bit unreasonable, u just feel territorial about my son because I don't like these people and feel like they want to have a relationship with my husband and son whilst excluding me. Maybe IABU...

I think you're bring really precious. The present isn't for you-why should it have your name on it.

There must be some back story to this.

Thanks HappyinHerts

The DC name only surely

Would be a non issue IMO

Surely you just put the childs name as its his present.

Why shouldn't they have a relationship with your husband and son? You don't like them, they don't like you. It's okay, not everyone likes each other. As long as there's not some massive backstory like the "friend" is actually your husband's mistress, then YABU. Don't see as a personal slight, I'm sure it's not intended that way!

Oops toddler eating glacé cherries as I type so got to stop. Thanks all. Am being a bit precious I see that.

I would never put a parents name on a gift I was sending a child. My dc love getting packages in the mail so I presume other dc do too

"Don't people realise when it comes to children and the mum's at home it's c/o mum."

No, they don't.

It is clear that there are problems in your relationship with the people who do this, and I can see why this would be difficult for you. But you can feel bad about that without having to make up weird rules that no one is aware of, and then feel angry when no one else observes them.

Plus, it sounds like they are your husband's friends or relatives, not yours. So they would default to your husband's name. I think it's good when fathers are treated as if they are very important people in their children's lives. Helps them take responsibility.