To think oh's friends/relatives should put my name on any cards/gifts they send my toddler?

[Hmm24]

I think it's rude to just put my son's name/care of my husband or just my husband's name. I don't like the friend that does this and don't like being treated like I don't exist when it comes to my son.

just feel territorial about my son because I don't like these people and feel like they want to have a relationship with my husband and son whilst excluding me. Maybe IABU

This is the real story isn't it? not some stupid mail?

You OH has friends you don't like, you don't want them to have a relationship with your child.

If you have a good reason then thats fair enough, they smoke weed, do drugs what have you.

is there something about these friends you particularly dislike?

Is he just your son, OP? Is your husband his step father? Just wondering, because you seem to place so much importance on it being your name on the post for your son. Is your husband not the child's father?

Why do you think it should be c/o mum? Are you thinking of situations where mum is SAHM while dad works outside the home? What if the post arrives before Dad goes to work?
I really, honestly don't get why this bothers you.

In the absence of any history I don't know why it bothers you? We have had things from DH's side of family adressed to my DC with my DH's name on. Makes sense to me.

Though I've never thought to address a child's card or present c/o anyone else. If I was posting something to a child I would put only their name on it. I wouldn't think 'I must include the mum in this'.

Wracking my brains trying to remember what i do!

I think i address packages to to who it's to. So the child's name if it's for a child. Same for an envelope.

I put Mr + Mrs on xmas cards for family, then all their names inside.

(If i'm sending cards to DHs family i put his name first on the 'from' bit. There's no way they'd mistake my hand writing for his so god know why i do that )

For friends where i don't know the family i just put the friends name and sign it just from me.

If a package arrived addressed for DH but was for DD i'd just wonder why they hadn't put DDs name on it. I wouldn't take it personally.

I wouldn't worry about the post thing if I were you, because honestly, it does make you sound a bit batshit, but feeling that your DH's friend/family member/whoever it is wants to exclude you from their relationship with your DH and DC is definitely not batshit - I can identify with that, and it's incredibly irritating when it's someone close. It's much more than "I don't like them, they don't like me" if it's someone who's around a lot.

No solutions, but happily my DH likes me an awful lot more than he likes the person who would ideally like me to disappear, so it's really never a problem!

Child's name only, even for a newborn.

I've never contemplated the need to put a parents name or c/o on any card or parcel to a child. Why would you?

I see that I am being a bit precious- thanks all.

This one thing taken on its own is nothing, really, but it sounds like it might be one slight amongst many.

Is this a big problem for you? Or is it something where you can accept that not everyone will be your best mate, and just move on?

Certainly, accept no rudeness to your face, though.

I think it's also because my DH doesn't really stick up for me with family/friends who don't like me that much.

Oh, i x posted with loads. Juggling toddler and toast.

I don't like these people and feel like they want to have a relationship with my husband and son whilst excluding me.

Well, it's simple then. You don't like them, they're probably not keen on you in return, and yes they probably DO only consider their relationship as being between your husband his son.

Your son is a separate human being. If they want to address stuff to him or to him and his dad then and let them get on with it.

I see that I am being a bit precious- thanks all.

OP, you're being a ridiculous poster!

How dare you be so reasonable and listen to advice. Don't you know that you're supposed to ask Ainu and when told "yes, you are", you then argue "no, I'm not, because bla bla bla", then we all get angry, because yours not listening? walks of, grumbling.

my DH doesn't really stick up for me with family/friends who don't like me that much

Well this is a different issue than the post thing.

I think you need a new thread. Seriously. Posters wont stop with the parcel comments on this one and the thread'll go nowhere.

poverty

Aibu not Aniu!

I always address cards and presents I'm sending through the post to the child and only the child.

Obviously, one parent will probably help them read the envelope and open it (depending on age), but it's the child's present so it's addressed only to the child.

I don't think you've have taken such offence if it was nice people who had done this though .

Gah - you'd not you've.

I always send presents to the child at their address. I also send cards to my brother or parents with only one name on the envelope...the actual recipients are all listed inside.

Do people actually notice and care about this kind of thing. I'd hate to think I've been offending folk left right and centre...

Do people actually notice and care about this kind of thing. I'd hate to think I've been offending folk left right and centre...

Me too...I don't think most people notice.

So this is the surface of a much deeper problem. They basically don't acknowledge you and your DP doesn't stand up for you. YANBU for that.

I've never written c/o on anything and have never known anyone to do so. Are they doing it deliberately? Or it could be just because they know your DP as his friend and they juts don't think it's necessary to put both of you.

The DD's relative on her dads side use his surname (she has mine, we're not married) when they send her something. I just ignore it- they're crazy, she got a load of cards with '8' on for her 7th birthday this year from them all too. Crazy. Crazy.

I just put the name of the person it's to on the envelope. If it's not to be opened before a certain time, I put that on the envelope too.

I've never put c/-, just the child's name.

the only time I wouldn't address a parcel directly to its recipient is if I was sending multiple presents e.g. to my friend's 3 kids at Christmas. then I wrap them all separately and name them, and then shove all of them into one big package of plastic tat and address it to the mum

I always c/o because if you don't and the package is taken to the sorting office or whatever then technically you can't collect it as your not the named person (have had issues a couple of times!)

But I would c/o on or other of the parents not both. I think your over thinking this one tbh.