to wonder if any of you have had social services involved after an accidental injury?

[MigraineMartie]

Title says it all really
Just wondering as although our involvement was a long time ago and very short lived it still upsets me when I think about it - anyone else?

It's a horrible feeling, it feels WRONG. Instinctively and gut wrenchingly wrong. And so subjective what happened, and on the pronouncements of a medic or other professionals who get a two second snapshot to base a decision on which may save a child, or condemn a family to a very intrusive and terrifying experience.

I'm wondering what the difference was, that some people have a call from a HV, and some arrive home to the police. Scary stuff.

Btw, connective tissue disorders are mentioned in the Children's Act itself, as they are so routinely misdiagnosed as child abuse.

Appletise, lager, do very similar in packaging.... Wah?!

Ridiculous.

On my frequent football injury trips to A & E with sons 4 and 5, must admit I've never been asked once if we have a social worker. Although they're teenagers now, so maybe that is just parents of younger kids? Or maybe our local hospital don't care - as the SS seem to be so inactive as to be comatose round here. My 4th son has dyspraxia and so had a lot of things like falling over in the playground at school, at primary. I think the school phoned me at least 3 times in the space of a year or two, to get there quick and I went to A & E with the Head - by the end we were joking that we did it every week. (Not quite). All his falls were at school, so again, maybe that explains why but also - never once asked if we had a social worker...

not ss but police. DS 1 was a nightmare child prone to tantrums and displays of violent anger right into his teens, he was about 14 or so and went off on one in the car with DH after football, he had no shoes on and got out of the car. DH followed him in the car and at one point tried to manhandle him back in. gave up and came home leaving DS to walk home in socks. ten mins later police at the door. someone had reported DH (gave numberplate) under suspicion of child abduction! which is fair enough as I guess its what it looked like so hats off to them for reporting. luckily for DH they believed his explanation.
and DS has actually grown up to be a reasonably pleasant human at 23, which we never thought possible, it was hell on earth bringing him up.

when i had a social worker my son fell over and smashed the holey fuck out of his face my social worker didnt like me and i cried for days thinking i had just given her all the ammunition she needed however when we went to conference the chair read out the report from the hospital and it stated ds gave a clear and concise report of how/where the incident occurred and we believe the injury is accidental

the advice from people who have had involvement from ss previously is this if your child can give an account themselves let them if you talk for them it will look like you're making up stories and they look closer at you and maybe see things that don't exist

Social workers can't tell over the phone or on paper the difference between accident prone and being neglected or deliberately hurt.

Just be thankful your children are fine and think of the ones that aren't.

My 13 week old DD has already had 2 seizures since birth with have required admission to hospital.

We were asked both times if we had a social worker. We don't and I understand it's a standard question. But it still chills you. She had an ultrasound to make sure the seizures weren't from "damage". Which was completely clear, but again knowing they were looking to see if we had shaken her, chills me. I know it's an absolute necessity but still scared me

NCd for this

I can now tell this story with a sense of relief.

Six months ago the police raided our house because they believed DH had accessed child porn. They took our phones, tablets and computers away and looked through every inch of our possessions.

DH denied it from the beginning. Apparently they had arrested a man and found a Skype conversation on his computer in which indecent images had been exchanged. The other person had hidden his IP address somehow and the only link they could find was that the email address had been set up via our IP address.

DH works from home and his job involves setting up email addresses for clients. He did set the email up but was not the one who had that Skype conversation. He handed all details of his client over to the police.

DD was under a Child in Need plan with SS. We had conferences (sitting round a table with about 10 professionals scrutinising our lives), fortnightly visits and DH wasn't allowed any unsupervised access to her. Although he explained his side of things to me and denied the charges, we decided it would be best if he lived at his mums for a while and he saw DD on an evening at our house. I wasn't even allowed to leave them in the same room as each other.

Last week the police came to our door returning our things, confirming no images had been found on any devices, no searches or anything that suggests DH is a paedophile, and that they know DH didn't have that Skype conversation, and they arrested the man who did, thanks to the info DH gave to them.

We are all back living together and it's such an amazing relief. SS no longer involved, they wrote to us commending our behaviour during this all and are confident DD is well looked after. Her school knew about it though and were involved in regular safeguarding meetings with us. I can never do drop off or pick up in the same way - even though he was never actually charged at any point I do wonder if they don't believe us anyway

I don't begrudge how things are done as I know the police and SS are only trying to protect children, but it's been a difficult and nerve wracking six months that's taken its toll on my marriage and I'm hoping we can get back to normal quickly

Wow

That's is terrifying, no idea how you handled that. How awful for all of you!

Omg chicken I can't imagine how bad that's been. Hope you get your family back to a happy normality soon.

Once you have been under investigation, especially with an older child, I think you will always been torn between being thankful that somebody cared and being aware of the damage that has actually been done to your family through the investigation itself.

SS close the case and move on, but as a parent you are left with a child who has been traumatised by having his/her story doubted and may be acting out, and at the same time you may well have to deal with suspicion and even hostility from school and other adults surrounding your child.

Dd was diagnosed aged 10. We were still dealing with the fall-out - in terms of not trusting adults outside the family, thinking she was not going to be believed, being afraid to tell when she had a flare-up - throughout her teens. I am sure the doctor who did the original questioning had no idea of the havoc he caused.

Of course I am thankful that other children are kept safe. But my child tried to kill herself.

I can do "be thankful". But "just" be thankful isn't really something I can manage.

Sorry, should have made myself clearer: by "under investigation" I mean an ongoing investigation, where your word is doubted and your child questioned, not a simple phone call after an accident.

I think the reporting system is way off in some cases.

When ds1 was about 16 months, we took him to A&E twice in the space of a couple of weeks - both with bangs to the head (really big egg-sized swellings - he ran into a door frame the first time and slipped off the bottom stair the second).

Anyway, we had no action, no questions about social workers or follow ups at all. Then a month later he had a febrile convulsion, 999, ambulance, A&E, overnight stay. It was documented by the Doctors as a FC. We had a very quick checking call from the health visitor because he'd had three hospital visits in as many months. That was it.

Then two months later he had another febrile convulsion - again, ambulance, 999 etc. Clearly documented that it was a temperature related convulsion. THIS time when the HV called she was not so pleasant, very stern and advised that she was obliged to inform SS because of the number of times he'd been to hospital.

So the first two accidents - huge bangs that could have been caused by any sort of abuse - nothing. However, two uncontrollable FC's later, we tipped the balance into an unacceptable level of hospital visits and that's when they followed it up

What happened after?

Was all OK in the end?