to wonder if any of you have had social services involved after an accidental injury?

[MigraineMartie]

Title says it all really
Just wondering as although our involvement was a long time ago and very short lived it still upsets me when I think about it - anyone else?

Frodo you're saying your son had a had injury which has left a 'gristly lump' two years later and you didn't seek medical attention because you felt guilty?

I'm shocked.

I had a phone call from the school nurse as dd had been to a and e a few times in a short period, triggering a further enquiry, it was for a broken wrist x 2 and a few sprains ect, pretty sure dd was over reacting on occasion but better to be safe than sorry.
Anyway she called me up at home whilst I was at work and at that time I got in half an hour after dd did and she was under strict instructions not to answer the phone/door ect. (she was 12, walked home with friends, safe area ect)
Of course on this occasion she decided to answer the phone and tell the nurse she was alone!
I got an inquistion as to how often she was left alone and whether she was safe, presumably all was ok as I've not heard anything since and more importantly dd has been a lot less accident prone!

I had regular GP and HV contact when ds was small, thanks to PND and disability and stuff. When ds broke a limb at nursery, I did get a HV come round to check we were coping OK because they'd been told he broke said limb but not that he was at nursery at the time. Few months later young dd claimed to have eaten something sharp so I called 111 and they said to search for the item for up to 30 minutes, then go to A&E for X-ray if I hadn't found it, or immediately if she showed any distress - had to redial 3 times to stop her leaping off high furniture! Spent 5 hours having her X-rayed 3 times... a few days later she showed me where she'd hidden the thing!

HV popped round to check I was coping with a demonic toddler, but it was a SS-triggered visit. Had cup of tea, got update on local toddler groups, end of.

Had two calls from the HV team. One after DS climbed up to a cupboard (he's an unbelievable climber, has been since before he could walk) undid the Calpol bottle and shared it with DD (they were 5 and 2.5 at the time).
Obvs we went to A&E, where DD had serum tests and DS got a stern talking-to.
DD had no trace of paracetamol and from what we could see from the carpet most of the bottle's contents ended up on it.

We actually asked DS to open a childproof Calpol bottle when we got home and he was very impressed with himself:

"You turn and turn and do it really hard. You have to do it for s long time..."
Anyway - a couple of days later our HV called to ask what happened and to suggest we keep the Calpol in a high cupboard and make sure it's properly closed up.... I told her we already did and that DS is a notorious climber so we were going down the route of talking about liver damage and death instead. Never heard back about it.

Second was after DD fm had an accident at nursery and dislodged a couple of teeth. We called the OOH dentist for advice and took her in the next day...all well apart from bruising and a temporarily wobbly tooth.

Later that week, HV called to see how she was, even though it happened at nursery. She explained that whenever a child goes to dr/dentist in circs like hers, they have to call.

DD also has Mongolian blue spots on the top of her bum - at one of her first visits to HV (days old), I asked her to draw shape and location in DD's notes and Red Book. Just a tip for people there.

It didn't go as far as SS, but I was reported to the hv. Luckily she knows me well and knew I am not an abusive mother. The reason for the trip to a&e was that I had been playing with dd doing "1,2,3 weeee" and lifting her by her hands. She was laughing and having a great time, then suddenly stopped and started to cry. She immobilised her arm and was quite distressed. I called 111 straight away and they sent us to a&e.

She had a dislocated elbow which the doctor who triaged us put back in place straight away. They asked me two or three times what had happened, and I told them honestly each time. They told me that it was a common injury and could be caused in a few ways, one of them being yanking a child by their arm. They seemed satisfied while I was there, but evidently sent a referral to the hv as I got a call a few days later from a somewhat bemused hv. She knows me and knows that my dd is my whole world, I am far from an abusive mum. She told me that although she had had the report that she wouldn't be taking it any further as my explanation was absolutely fine and she knew me well.

SS visited us after a visit to A&E when DS was 2. He fell and cut his face quite badly. I was glad to have been investigated- that kind of action is what could save another child one day.

DP and I weren't allowed to take dd1 (then aged 4) home from hospital with her broken leg until a social worker and police officer had interviewed both us and her (in our presence though). The hospital had automatically flagged it as she'd broken her arm the year before.

We were both petrified, I will never forget the sense of powerlessness against the machine.

After the interviews, the SW and sergeant went off for a quiet chat. Then came back and said they were happy that it had been accidental.

Years later I was chatting with the Head of her school about something else, the subject came round, and she told me she'd been rung that morning and asked some pretty searching questions about us. She said she'd told them that dd1 was a rumbustious little girl and she wasn't remotely surprised to hear she'd broken her leg while messing about jumping around at bedtime!

I know they were doing a job, and doing it properly, but it so doesn't help that most of these cases are not reported in the media as the Family Court's default position is an injunction against publicity, so the system has an aura of mystery and fear about it.

Yes to the Mongolian Spots thing.

Two of my DSs had them at both and still have blue at the bottom of their back at age 7. Midwives in central London didn't bat an eye at them as apparently almost all East Asians and most West Indians have them. I was pretty shocked when they were born as they were pretty pronounced, and I'm white British and had actually never seen them. I pinned a Wikipedia article on my noticeboard and told everyone that had contact with DCs what they were as was petrified. Apparently about 1% of white babies have them.

My son had an unusual bruise form while he was at nursery (they confirmed it wasn't there in morning) but no one had seen him cry or fall. He was verbal and couldn't say anything that might explain the bruise. We took him to the doctor who said he had to refer to SS straight away. We ended up with a hospital appt (he was fine) and a home visit even though whatever had happened, had clearly happened at nursery! I still feel very shaken about it now years on, as if I was judged. They never said whether they talked to the nursery.

A friend took his dd to A&E after a fall at home, she clipped her head on the hearth.
No serious injury fortunately, but they got home to find the police on the doorstep. No further action after an explanation but still, very unnerving.

I had a similar A&E trip with mine a couple of years later and it wasn't even mentioned to the hv. There doesn't seem to be a any consistency.

I think the Mongolian blue spot thing happens a lot were the health care professionals don't deal with a lot of enmic minorties

Yes, deffo.
DD's almost seven and still has the bigger spot - can't see the smaller one anymore.
We're not standard issue European on my side, so there's a few quirks hairy shoulders for DD is a good example here and there.

Judge - almost exactly the same as what happened here
Absolutely horrendous and will never get past the pain or the feelings I had, being terrified doesn't even begin to explain how I felt
I wonder if it will ever go away

There seems to be a bit of a problem with SS taking things up with caring and loving parents and failing to deal with children in real trouble.
When SS have been involved and jumped in on innocent parents sometimes at the behest of an aggrieved person (ex husband) they fail to acknowledge that they have made an error even when it is very obvious.

Friend had this happen to her. DD3 fell out of bed and cut her lip. Next morning my friend bumped the injury as she was dressing her and made her cry. When asked at nursery she said 'Mummy hurt it'

SS came to her house. She was devastated and still isn't over it.

It's the way the SS fail kids who really need to be got out of situations, that is the worst part of it. Better to be over cautious, I'd have thought, however upsetting for people. And it might be less upsetting if they could find a better way of handling people.

My nice neighbour, the one who overheard the kid getting hurt on the BBQ, works in a children's home, and she has long felt - as I have - that these kids don't just need the odd SS visit, but active get-them-the-hell-out-of-there intervention. Third year of them being here, now, and the SS visits dried up over a year ago. The verbal and emotional) child abuse continues. The day the child was injured in a genuine accident, was a chance for intervention that was missed.

We've had plenty over the years relating to dd's hypermobility syndrome. Have to say I always found SS far more professional and sensible than some members of-- the medical and teaching professions.

It was a paediatric consultant who came up with the bright idea that a child who complained of leg pains which had no visible cause must have been traumatised = sexually abused.

And a headteacher who clearly thought if you just inform the parents that you are not happy about the child needs of medical treatment then her medical problems will evaporate. (and m

SS were my support during a grim time.

Few yrs back My 18month old ds3 was chucked on sofa by ds1 (9) his arm dislocated, we had a ss visit and where basically treated like a pile of crap, took 5 months to b rid of them, was an awful time.
But my ds2 who has special need, through being the most clumsy uncoordinated child ever has broke a thumb, cut head open 4 times, chin twice and few concussions, all treated at hospital, never heard from them then!

When my DD was 2, she fell down 3 steps leading into the garden, a nasty massive bump appeared instantly so we went to the walk in centre..I was hysterical saying I only turned my back for a second, they sent us straight to A&E (me panicking all the way thinking they would say I'd hurt her)

When the nurse saw us, she asked a few questions one of them was "Is your family involved with SS, sorry I had to ask this as a routine question"

From that question I thought SS would be in touch to find out what had happened but everyone could obviously see it was an accident.

I think 'do you have a social worker?' is an absolutely standard and routine question simplethings. I was asked that when DD1 and I were at A&E getting checked over after being in a minor car crash (so not a situation where abuse would be on the radar). It's like asking who your GP is - something they ask everyone.

DD2 had four dislocations between ages 2 and 3! You know when you swing a toddler between you and they love it... oops.
Then Dh threw her in the air and as she came down her elbow dislocated.
Then her brother gave her a tug to get off the lawn... yep you guessed it.

The paed examined her thoroughly and discovered she was extremely hypermobile, with probably EDS. And showed us how to pop her elbows back in ourselves.

She's 21 now and last night rolled over in bed and her shoulder dislocated... she managed to get it back herself as she is used to it happening now although it is very painful.

The HV when she was little would always call to check she (and we ) were ok but once we had a diagnosis no one was concerned about abuse thankfully!

We had SS involvement with DS although not because of an injury. He was with his childminder and had escaped the house while she went to the loo. He was found (aged 2) trotting down the road. SS took no further action but I left that cm (and it was made absolutely clear that I had to even if I'd thought otherwise). I've had no further contact.

My son went to a&e about 9 times in his first 6 months he kept turning blue due to reflux, the hv used to ring everytime with wrong information about the admission etc. When she came to see us for a pre weaning home visit or something she watched one of his episodes and sent us straight to a&e. He is still constantly in a&e at 19 months due to a blood condition I swear the hv has never bothered ringing since.

Yes and every a&e visit your asked if you have social worker I know I am with my son and he's never been in for an injury.

It is standard to be asked if you have a social worker.

I had a HV call after DS bumped his head once but that's all. DD is horribly accident prone and has had loads of injuries, so I'm a bit surprised we haven't had any more but relieved! Last year she had a very nasty nose injury and the medical professionals were amazing, but I did notice that they always got her story first before allowing me to talk. Very sensible!

The local Children's Centre think we're terrible parent and have not only made that clear to me but informed the school. The school told them that they had no concerns and that we were excellent and engaged parents. The Children's Centre reasoning seems to be that I didn't attend their sessions (went to other groups, not that toddler groups are mandatory anyway). The things I've heard from them bear zero relation to reality - at a toddler group session (that I was running) one of them accused me of getting drunk on lager. I was having an Appletise. I still get very angry when I think about it.

Sorry, bit of a tangent there but it is awful when people are questioning whether you keep your children safe, although I appreciate it needs to happen.