AIBU to give up skiing after 18 years...

[DoSomethingKirsty]

Two days into our family ski holiday and I just don't want to do it anymore.

Sick and tired of squeezing my feet into in comfy boots (that cost a bloody fortune to get custom fitted for extra comfort). Sick and tired of always being last and holding the group up. Sick and tired of being petrified that I'm going to be hit by a snowboarder.

I am a fairly competent skier if the conditions are perfect and the slopes are empty, but as soon as the the light goes, or the snow softens or little piles of powder appear I go to pieces.

I stropped off the slope after one run this morning, as I had no clue where the rest of the group had gone and DH wasn't answering his phone.

AIBU to never set foot on a slope again?

The whole point whios is that I am very comfortable at that speed when conditions are good - no problem with control or confidence. Having watched videos of myself I look ok too.

So this year for the first time I said I wasn't going skiing.

DH and DS (12) went together by themselves.

Like you OP Iast year I realised I just didn't enjoy it anymore.

I'm a pretty good skier but I don't want to spend my time hurtling down black runs in crappy conditions anymore - which is the exact opposite of DH and DS.

I just got stressed and fed up and spent most of the holiday skiing alone on red/blue runs by myself.

So this year I said I wasn't going (Feb half term).

DH was fine. DS was a bit upset but upshot was they both had a great boys holiday without me. Yes I missed them but it's meant I've saved my holiday allowance to spend a week with DS at Easter half term which will be great and the skiing was obviously much cheaper without me.

I think your DH is being U - it's a bloody expensive holiday not to enjoy.

Madwoman - I have fond memories of soup and a sandwich at the restaurant at the top of the gondola, skiing down Goats Eye and hugging a tree when it all went wrong on the the Roller Coaster.

I would love to take the boys there in a few years!

It's great to see that I am not the only one who feels like this. Everyone I meet seems to love it!

We have a heated chairlift in Sunshine now - it's lovely!

Since my mid 30s I've definitely been more scared than I used to be, more cautious. I think I need some lessons TBH, even though I've been skiing 20 yrs.

OP I started skiing at 19 & quit 3 years ago ( 60). My Damacene moment was looking up -slope at Les Arc & thinking it looked like the flipping M25 & thinking " do I really want to be doing this?" I had another week, but my knees are no longer up to a week. I've skied all over France, Italy, Austria & a lot of the US -Calif, Colo, New Mex, Utah, Ariz, so great memories.
So I very sadly sold my skis & poles ( kept my boots) I love the rush of skiing & happy in fair weather & perfect conditions. I might do the odd couple of short days in the future, so knees can cope, but never again will I do a full-on week. I miss it, but things change, & that's ok.

I've had my frustrating moments with DP. He used to tell me to get on with it when I was stuck at the top of a blue run feeling scared of an edge. Because in his head I'd skied steep reds perfectly all day and was being ridiculous. So one day I sent him off to ski on his own while I enjoyed another vin chaud. He started being a lot nicer when I told him I was considering not skiing for the rest of the holiday and he won't even ski ahead of me now!

I insisted on doing group lessons for the first time this year and found them loads of fun. There's something about following an instructor that makes me confident enough to ski anything. The other people in our group were lovely too.

Hope your holiday improves.

I eventually gave up after feeling like you. I too could officially ski, but was nervous (except after a liquid lunch when I was pretty nippy) and was always the last one down. Apart from it being far too stressy to be called a holiday, I also resented paying for boots, skis and passes when I didn't enjoy it. So I just stopped. Still went with the family, but spent my time reading, walking and frankly enjoying the mountains much more.
Eventually our kids got into their late teens, son even qualified as a ski instructor, and surpassed my husband's level. He is often last now!
We've just returned from a ski week with 'kids' (now in 20's), and friends of different ages/ski abilities. Everŷone had a great time.
There's no law that you should enjoy the same stuff as your husband. If you don't like skiing, give it up!

The first year I ventured back on skis after my injury was the worst. I had 5 teenagers with me, who used to ski around me in circles (some skiing backwards) taking the mick at my slow speed. Gits!

I now refuse to be bullied into skiing runs that I don't like - although I was duped into a particularly nasty icy red this year by ds (19), who said "It'll be fine, Mum. It's only a tiny bit and we'll help you." (this the sweet little boy who used to ski between my legs on the steep bits). I told them I would in all likelihood die, and then they'd be sorry, but all they could do was laugh and dh asked if he could have my (expensive) gloves if I snuffed it.

TBH I have never seen the appeal of skiing and I think it is hugely overrated and very expensive just in order to be uncomfortable.

I went on probably five holidays which all consisted of me slogging up to the top of the run (I hate the boots, I hate carrying all the crap, I hate the way the freaking gondolas and chairlifts don't stop and you get hassled to hurry up) followed by me skiing down and thinking oh that didn't take long, I suppose I'd better do it again as I can't really leave yet.

Two or three runs were always the absolute maximum before boredom drove me to a cafe for a hot chocolate after which I strangely never found my way back onto the runs and would just slink back to the hotel for a swim and to read a book.

Friends kept inviting me and children to go and I kept making myself go until I had a revelation a couple of Christmases ago and announced my retirement from skiing. Such a relief. My last winter holiday we spent in Amsterdam instead. Art galleries and museums, quirky cafes and generally lots to do.

I don't miss skiing!

I skied like you for a few years and actually never enjoyed it. I got a dreadful sense of doom when I went up the mountain in a cable car and it got quieter and higher.

I was always last, always the one who fell and couldn't get up...

One day my son said, ' you don't like this do you?'.

I agreed and went down and returned by gear. I never skied again. I went a few times and read and pottered. It was ok. I don't now.

YANBU at all. Leave with my blessing. Your dh is BVVU. Just tell him you will look forward to hearing about it later but you won't be joining him. The summer holiday threat is deeply childish.

I hate skiing. I can ski, I used to quite enjoy it and now all of a sudden I don't want to. I've not even had a fall or anything (although I too tense up at that horrible snowboarding sound behind me). I have now got myself into a position where I feel like I can't ski anymore even though I know I can. It's all completely in my head and rather crazy but I can't get rid of it.

So I've decided just not to ski this year. I will walk, browse the shops and read to my heart's content whilst everyone else skis. Why stress myself out on our precious few days holiday doing something I am not enjoying?

BTW DH is an amazing skier. He looks like the milk tray man. He's been twice a year for 43 years. He still has a lesson each time we go.

Oh god this makes me worry for my future. My DC's are 7 & 5 and I'm queen of the hill. With them. It has slowed me down skiing with them and I'm not challenging myself as much.... I have signs of The Fear too.

Perhaps I should ditch the kids and go alone, they're clearly holding me back

The group lessons sound like a great solution... and one I shall bear in mind.

YANBU. I realised about 4 years ago that I just don't enjoy it any more and stopped. I might do the odd day in the future if conditions are lovely but I'm never doing a full-on ski trip with daily ski-ing again.

It sounds as though you are skiing with people you don't like skiing with (even if they are your family).

When I learned to ski, it was with DH and his friends. All really nice but it was a real struggle to keep up with them (and must have been really boring for them). I was always so stressed and rushed, I never felt as though I was improving.

I now ski with a far more relaxed group and enjoy it so much more.

I've definitely declined in my ski abilities over the years.

Last year went away with friends but one of them was a lot better and I constantly felt like I was pushed beyond my comfort zone. Also had that thing where I was the last down every time.

However I managed to get my confidence back a bit by going to the indoor slope recently.

We've booked to go away next year and my plan is to put DS in ski school until about 2, and get my skiing done for then. I don't think I'll be good enough to keep up with DS in the afternoon and DH definitely isn't , so the plan is to relax and do a bit of sledging then.

I don't see why your DH is having a strop - if he's enjoying skiing with the DCs then surely you can either go for a hot chocolate or just stick to some easy runs to rebuild your confidence.

Heated Chairlifts! You need them! I remember having to buy a balaklava when the temperature hit -20 - we completely underestimated how much colder Canada was compared to Europe!

I do think I need some better goggles - DH bought some with interchangeable lens for this holiday; I regret telling him not to bother getting a pair for me, but today is sunny so I will be heading for the blues with my sun glasses and will see how it goes - I plan to be the first up the mountain before it gets too busy!

Redhat - that sounds the perfect solution - quite a small village here with not much to do though. I'd usually enjoy a nice long walk, but I've got a terrible chesty cough and not sure I could manage to walk up a hill!

Clam - Your children sound like by only older. What I really hate is that by the time I catch up everybody is ready to go and I never get a bloody rest!

This might sound crazy... But have you ever fancied getting a snowboard lesson?

I used to be terrified of beginner skiers, and their unpredictable turns, and their inability to go more than two minutes without stopping to stand around chatting or smoking in the most awkward places.

Then I got a skiing lesson, and I feel like I understand them a bit better now, and can predict what they are doing a bit more.

So I'm sure it would work both ways? They only difference is that while you can be doing a snowplough turn at the end of a ski lesson, you will be lucky if you can stand up at the end of a snowboard lesson. It does take a few lessons to get comfortable. But I'm sure your years of skiing would help.

You might like it, and be in a position where you can pick the best sport for the conditions (you are totally unreasonable to be complaining about soft snow and powder!). Maybe one of your kids would fancy it too, then you could all go back to being beginners for a bit.

That did make me laugh TreadSoftly - how did you know!?

The public school comment I presume? Because he sounds exactly like my husband ! I think the mantra "just suck it up and get on with it" is bludgeoned into their brains at school.

It can't help if you aren't feeling 100% either but I hope you are having a lovely morning in the sun.

Will this improve my skiing...

definitely!

What about trying cross-country skiing?
I tried it about 10 years ago when I was 29 and have never looked back.
Before that I used to go snowboarding or skiing twice a year but I started to hate how many people were on the pistes, queues for lifts, not to mention the expense.
Cross-country is wonderful - it is cheap to hire equipment, you'd only need an hour or two instruction and the tickets for the trails are cheap.
You can do it at your own pace - fast or slow. Hardly anyone does it so you have the trails pretty much to yourself. You get to glide through pretty landscapes without any stress from other people skiing/snowboarding like maniacs.
You can meet up with your family at restaurants and cafes for lunch or just have the day to yourself and meet them in the evening.
If they are going to disappear off and then not answer the phone then you might as well enjoy some "me" time anyway without any hassle.

Choose something you want to do tomorrow and inform them of your choice. Could be trying cross-country, or a swimday or a walk.

bombardino! ! !

Yes it will.... especially if it's the sort that is half brandy. Well, maybe not improve exactly. More alter

I agree with kvilebu - try cross country skiing, it's great!

I am one of the neurotic middle aged losers referred to above. I didn't learn to ski till I was an adult in my 30s, I've spent a fortune on lessons and got to a certain level and my ability plateaued. I can get down the hill but won't do the difficult runs. I sometimes enjoy it on a sunny day. But I've lost my nerve - no real reason, no bad fall or anything. I get very freaked out if it's crowded, and of course it is busy on the easy and intermediate runs I do. Now I don't care if I never do it again, I only go so the kids can do it as my husband doesn't ski - the kids are way better than me of course.

Cross country skiing however is fabulous - you're still outside in lovely surroundings. You're exercising. There is a skill level involved that you can work on, but unlike downhill you can pick it up very quickly and do it to a certain degree straight away, especially if you are used to skis. It's a great family sport - we all do it and have had some great family trips.

It was at least half brandy and contained enough cream to clog at least one artery - I barely noticed the last run!

Today wasn't bad at all, DS was great and took his coaching role very seriously - he made me tighten my boots, which made a massive difference to my overall control. I spent most of the day pottering down blues and a few reds following his tracks - it was like being in ski school where you just follow and don't think too much!

Conditions were perfect though and I am definitely a fair weather skier.

I've never considered cross country - isn't it incredibly hard work? I think I would need to improve my fitness before giving it a go.

I've agreed to ski tomorrow, but will probably miss out a run or two like I did today.