Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to give up skiing after 18 years...

90 replies

DoSomethingKirsty · 23/03/2016 15:55

Two days into our family ski holiday and I just don't want to do it anymore.

Sick and tired of squeezing my feet into in comfy boots (that cost a bloody fortune to get custom fitted for extra comfort). Sick and tired of always being last and holding the group up. Sick and tired of being petrified that I'm going to be hit by a snowboarder.

I am a fairly competent skier if the conditions are perfect and the slopes are empty, but as soon as the the light goes, or the snow softens or little piles of powder appear I go to pieces.

I stropped off the slope after one run this morning, as I had no clue where the rest of the group had gone and DH wasn't answering his phone.

AIBU to never set foot on a slope again?

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 23/03/2016 17:27

Call his bluff Grin

Trade in your ski pass for a couple of days guiding for the kids so he can do some decent skiing not in Dad mode? ............. and relax in the chalet.

Or get a fake doctors letter telling you that you can't ski on your dodgy knee

Original poster
DoSomethingKirsty · 23/03/2016 17:28

DS has offered to ski some blues with me in the morning while the others go off - not sure if I will or not.

And yes I agree DH is being an arse - empathy is not his strong point and if he wants to miss the summer the holiday then I really don't care!

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 23/03/2016 17:30

but as soon as the the light goes, or the snow softens or little piles of powder appear I go to pieces.

I love skiing but hate it when the light goes and you are basically sliding across an icy slope into a soft mogul. Life's too short.

Get out early when the sun is up, the slopes have been groomed and are still semi frozen and crispy on the surface, and finish for the day at lunchtime would be my recommendation.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 23/03/2016 17:33

You can't beat a good blue on a sunny morning. Your DS will find some some tree bits or jumps to liven things up on the side.
Take him up on it subject to good weather. If it's looking blah, then send him off with the rest of the group and have a morning off with a book.

Tell your DH to take his school PE instructor attitude straight back to whatever English public school he attended. Grin

Original poster
DoSomethingKirsty · 23/03/2016 17:34

I don't think he minds skiing with the kids, two of them are better than him and one is almost there! It was so much easier when they skied at my level!

The thing that DH can't understand and me too if I'm honest, is how I can go from skiing well on steep reds to looking like a beginner on a blue depending on the conditions - he says it's all in my head and he's right. I was hitting 70km/h yesterday and didn't manage 30km/h this morning on my one run of the day. Not sure what the answer is or if I will ever improve.

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 23/03/2016 17:39

If you find out can you tell me? I can't ski for toffee under the same circs. I assume it is a combination of missing a technique somewhere and confidence ?

Have you had your skis serviced? Are the edges nice and sharp?

madwomanbackintheattic · 23/03/2016 17:43

There is a point at which the dcs are suddenly one hell of a lot faster/ braver/ steeper that comes as something of a shock to a mother that has spent many years slowing down, shepherding small people and being responsible for safety... It's a a wet fish in the chops to realise that your many years of deliberately curtailing your skills have done their job and you have now produced the next generation of downhill lol...
The mother is then left having deliberately reduced her skills over many years, with the necessity to either get a grip and regain confidence in the steep and deep, or take to the coffee shop.
I hate this period if I'm honest. In a few years the kids will just ski on their own and Dh will be pointlessly redundant, at which point the two you can start skiing together again without the pressure of first teaching kids to go faster and steeper, and then the pressure of keeping up with them when they do. It's what you do in the meantime that's the crux.

Canada out of the holiday rush is lovely. I live here.
For the last month or so, Dh has taken them on his own (I just can't be arsed to schlep to the hill just for them to wait for me every Saturday when I have laundry to do) but our ski season is now suspended as dd2 broke her collar bone (yes, skiing). So, I get a reprieve until next Christmas, when 73yo mil will be here raring to go.

Don't give up. Just acknowledge that this too is a specific phase, and once you are through it, you can time your destination appropriately to avoid the crowds. There is nothing better than cruising down a wide open piste for miles on a nice groomed run, with not a soul to be seen. It's just newly speedy kids and dads in hot pursuit that make it a chore.

This too shall pass.

foxessocks · 23/03/2016 17:44

I have 2 things to say to this.

  1. my mum skiied for about the same amount of years as you and she fell over one day and decided enough was enough one day and she didn't enjoy it and felt scared all the time and that was that. She gave up there and then. She came on future family holidays with us and had a lovely time going for walks, reading and generally doing very little! (Not for everyone I know)

  2. I am a good skier, I used to work as an instructor, but I would very much call myself a fair weather skier. I don't like it when I can't see where I'm going, when it's too cold or on slopes that are too busy and frankly too frightening! I'd sometimes much rather read a book in bed or just sit in a cafe and drink hot chocolate all day.

Maybe you could buy a pass just for a day in future and take it as it comes? Weather dependent!

Original poster
DoSomethingKirsty · 23/03/2016 17:45

That did make me laugh TreadSoftly - how did you know!?

So the plan is that me and DS will head to the blues at 9am and meet everyone else for lunch.

This is the last chance - I will make my final decision tomorrow. We had a terrible last run of the day yesterday which set me off with feelings of doom, but every year seems to follow the same pattern!

If tomorrow goes well I will book a lesson for Friday - I'll probably be safer with an instructor as the Italians head up the mountain for Easter.

OP posts:
CallMeACynicBut · 23/03/2016 17:45

Do you need different/better goggles? What everyone else said about it being supposed to be fun. Nothing wrong with skiing half days or less if that maximises your enjoyment, or with skiing easier slopes or slower than you could in principle do!

madwomanbackintheattic · 23/03/2016 17:45
clam · 23/03/2016 17:51

Kirsty, I could have written your posts! I still love going (the whole ambience/scenery etc), but it is getting harder to find someone who skis as I want to do it. We usually have a group of between 8 and 12, but there are beginners there (too slow) and then the kids who zoom down black runs at high speed. No way.
I heard dh say once too often on this last holiday, "What are you stopping for now?" and I confess I told him to fuck right off and leave me alone. The thing is, he won't leave me to ski alone, as I broke my leg a few years back (not skiing) and I have developed Fear. I used to be fine on steep reds, but now I point blank refuse to do anything more than a blue. And at the first sign of a snowflake or low cloud, I'm inside the nearest mountain cafe.
Not sure the kids will come next year (both at uni and likely to go with friends), so don't know if that will make it better or worse.

LIZS · 23/03/2016 17:51

That sounds like a good plan. Pace yourself and prioritise what you enjoy.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 23/03/2016 17:53

I can't stand skiing with Dh and our friends. They can all ski better, faster than me and I getbtired, hold them up, get scared and pissed off.

I ski on my own, meet them for lunch and I might ski a bit in the afternoon or go and read.

Every other year or every third year I tend to have lessons. Either a couple of private ones or a week of group lessons. Improves my confidence and technique.

Original poster
DoSomethingKirsty · 23/03/2016 17:54

Madwoman -'that is very true. I've spent the last few years in a snow plough, shouting 'turn' and playing daft games. They ski in a local club at home and are great little skiers - way past me now!

We had a couple of lovely holidays in Canada pre-children - I loved it! Lake Louise and Sunshine - those were the days!

Foxes - number 1 would suit me very well!

OP posts:
clam · 23/03/2016 17:55

Actually, that's a good point about goggles. I never used to wear them, as I had a crappy pair that I couldn't see out of. Got myself a decent pair this year and, wow! The difference. I could actually see the undulations in the snow.
Mind you, some days the light won't let you see them even with the naked eye, in which case... cafe!

bigTillyMint · 23/03/2016 17:57

I didn't ski this year for the first time in 18 years!

I have dodgy knees and have been getting more and more scared of injuring myself since the DC got capable of doing blacks - it was fine when they were tiny and not racing off, but I just don't enjoy trying to keep up with them on reds, never mind blacks!
Luckily we go with friends and my friend doesn't ski at all, so we walk instead - lovely small resort with loads of picturesque walking opps!

I didn't miss it at allSmile

whois · 23/03/2016 18:01

YAB a bit wet - but if you don't want to ski, don't. But no need to me all woe is me.

If you want to get better, have some private lesson with an instructor recommended to you. Ask on snow heads forum for recommendations. This will improve your skill and confidence and could make it all way more fun.

It's no fun skiing with people who are much faster and always being last. Recommend private lessons in the morning, a few runs with the family after lunch and then retire early.

whois · 23/03/2016 18:03

Also - I'm pretty fucking good at skiing. About as good as you can get without doing entire seasons or living out there. I still take lessons.

madwomanbackintheattic · 23/03/2016 18:03

Sunshine is our local hill Grin. Come back and see us in a few years when the kids are old enough to meet you for lunch Wink

lampygirl · 23/03/2016 18:04

Pffft the light and grading of slope is all irrelevant now. I'm currently nursing a broken leg/ankle depending on who you see, caused by not paying attention on a blue in fine weather and losing one ski and trying to rescue it on the other leg culminating in a super slow speed topple. I usually ski black/red runs and itineraries.

I used to hate low light but investing in some new low light goggles rather than my usual dark ones made flat light much easier and I now enjoy skiing when it is snowing. Get comfortable doing your own thing and don't worry about chasing DH and the DCs round the mountain.

SanityClause · 23/03/2016 18:04

The best skiing holiday I ever had, two of my DC and DH were all in snowboard lessons, over lunchtime. I spent the mornings with DD2, pootling around on blues, with the occaisional red, if we fancied it.

We would stop for chips half way through, and meet them later, to do a few easier slopes with them.

DD2 and I went everywhere, and had a ball, making up silly stories, and drawing pictures of smiley faces on Coke cans with mayonnaise.

Is there any possibility of you splitting up the group, with you finding a like-minded person to ski with?

They can do the slopes they like, and you can do the bits you like, without feeling you're holding everyone up?

whois · 23/03/2016 18:08

I was hitting 70km/h yesterday

Speed is not a measure of how good you are. Please don't go fast whist you are still in the habit of going to pieces when conditions change!

takeonefortheteam · 23/03/2016 18:15

Op, I could've written your post.
I had a nasty fracture on the 1st day a couple of years ago and have turned from Miss Off Piste/Bond extra to a neurotic, middle aged loser.
My solution is ski school with all the other neurotic middle aged losers. Honestly I've had such a laugh. I tell the instructor at the beginning that I'm a big scardy cat so no jumps, ice, off piste involving trees and any reds & blacks have to wide, bump free and preferably empty.
I go to ski school in the morning, insist on a long boozy lunch and then do some gentle stuff with DH & the DC then head in for more wine tea and cake and a hot bath.

whois · 23/03/2016 18:18

My solution is ski school with all the other neurotic middle aged losers. Honestly I've had such a laugh. I tell the instructor at the beginning that I'm a big scardy cat so no jumps, ice, off piste involving trees and any reds & blacks have to wide, bump free and preferably empty.
I go to ski school in the morning, insist on a long boozy lunch and then do some gentle stuff with DH & the DC then head in for more wine tea and cake and a hot bath.

That sounds like a great holiday!