Can't go to weddings, nights out (BF again!)

[mikado1]

My 8no is ebf and a nonsleeper, more or less, after 10pm.... I have stopped counting but he's probably feeding up to 10times a night. I am saying this not to moan or for sympathy but to give full picture.

Thing is, it means evenings out are hard to manage-running home to feed and no sleep in the tank-so I have gone to a few things that I 'had' to but really I'm not too put out, this will only be for a short time etc. I have a wedding coming up, 3hrs away, I have expressed though I find it complete drudgery and sometimes don't get a drop and whadda us know, I have a bottle, and beaker refuser. My (sorry, v long) AIBU is, why am I made to feel it can't actually be this hard to sort things when in fact he's still v much reliant on me and I can't leave him home overnight while so faraway. I have had 'I'm sure he'll take it', 'Would you give formula?' (Dont understand that suggestion when he won't Take the bloody bottle!) And 'He's on solids now. I know I can't bring him but have to be at my very good friend's wedding so now my oh going to skip wedding and hang around hotel with him so I can feed. That's fine but I know I am being seen to be making a big deal out of it and making things hard for myself I don't care how anyone feeds their baby but really feel I'm being portrayed as difficult for ebf still. Surely when a baby is still so small people should understand that it's not always easy to get back to 'normal life', whether ff or bf?

Yes you need to ignore ignore ignore.
Mine was such a bottle refuser, she ended up being tube fed and in hospital. So no marilyn not all babies will take a bottle, even at eight months, no matter who feeds them, or with what, for however long you have left them.

You friends will be too wrapped up in themselves to really notice who's at the wedding and who isn't. It's not that big a deal!

Thanks everyone for your views. It is a good friend so it's important that I go. I have tried the usual tricks and tips to try and get him to take it. The hassle of expressing plus all this bottle refusal isn't worth it for a single night so I won't be pushing it anymore. Oh won't be able to go to evening do because he will be with ds. That's worse case scenario but actually it's not too bad.

I've had two bottle refusers, and despite having ample supply, found expressing hard particularly the first time before I found the right pump.

I did find that I could leave both of them for a few hours between feeds. Without my milky smell around, they significantly reduced their demands for milk.

I had a sudden RTW when DS2 was 10m. My first month of work, I pointlessly pumped a few ounces so he had the option of a bottle in my absence, and the entire lot went down my drain. He enthusiastically fed from me day and night when I was around, but could cope well with my absence. A healthy appetite for solids and drinking water from a cup helped.

I'd ended up committing to 4 nights away around his 1st birthday thinking that like his brother he'd be on one or maybe two feeds by then... but no, he was still guzzling away day and night (except work days). He was perfecly happy in my absence. My only issue was expressing off the engorgment. As soon as I got back to him, he latched on for the next hour.

What I suppose I'm saying is that everyone is different, but I found that despite having staunch bottle refusers, I had some element of flexibility to separate from them. The difficulty is finding the confidence to test where those boundaries are. For me, I need a bit of personal space.

I always looked on breastfeeding as a perfect excuse to avoid weddings/boozy nights out/hen nights. Bliss.
My babies never had a bottle, ebm or otherwise. I stopped explaining myself. Don't really care what people thought.
My friendship circles changed a great deal, more family orientated, so day time BBQs with other families, picnics in the park with other Mums and babies. We enjoy socialising without late nights.

Yanbu-some will give you good suggestions on how to achieve a night away from baby but if you're like me, you'll not make it happen until bf ends.

By dc3 I felt much more comfortable in turning nights out down and much more secure in the knowledge that was how it goes for me.

Don't let yourself feel pressured - just say no!