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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving DC alone with workman

52 replies

redskytonight · 22/03/2016 12:46

One day a week the DC (12 and 10) walk/cycle home from school (2 different schools) and let themselves in the house. They are then on their own for about 30 minutes until DH gets home. They are used to this, know what to do in an emergency etc etc etc.

We have to have some essential work done on the house, which will mean that the workman doing the work will likely be there when the DC get home. Hence, the only people in the house will be DC+ workman, until DH gets home.

This doesn't sit quite right with me, for reasons I'm struggling to articulate.

I'd like to make it clear that I am not suspecting the workman of being a child molester. But it does seem unfair to put him in the position where he is alone with them. Both from a safeguarding point of view and because if "something" did happen he might feel that he had to be responsible for the children, which again would be rather unfair.

AIBU to think that DH should just get home a bit earlier, so we can avoid this whole "problem"?

OP posts:
Purplepicnic · 22/03/2016 12:47

Ask the woram how he feels about it?

Purplepicnic · 22/03/2016 12:48

And the workman!

ctjoy103 · 22/03/2016 12:48

It wouldn't sit right with me either. Why does your Dh have to come home earlier though? Can you split the days between the both of you.

CactusKate · 22/03/2016 12:48

YANBU

Pointlessfan · 22/03/2016 12:48

I have a workman here at the moment. He was telling me about a client who left two toddlers in his care while she went to the shop! Apart from thinking she had a cheek he also said he felt really uncomfortable with it so yes I'd think of a different plan if possible.

cbigs · 22/03/2016 12:48

Hi op,
I think if you have no concerns about the workman (and why would you have I suppose) and it's only half an hour it's fine. What would happen that would make it not fine?

Twitterqueen · 22/03/2016 12:48

If I were the builder I think I would probably be a little unhappy about this for the reasons you outline - it's kind of assumed childcare on his part. He (or she) may not want to be put in that position. At the very least you should ask if it's OK.

But I tend to agree that DH should get home earlier.

cbigs · 22/03/2016 12:50

but you're not asking him to babysit...so surely normal business is continued while he cracks on? Confused

Dellarobia · 22/03/2016 12:51

I wouldn't worry too much personally. It's only 30 mins. But if it's straightforward for DH to get home and it would make you feel better, then why not.

NoSquirrels · 22/03/2016 12:52

Is it going to be a couple of days, or a few weeks?

For a short-term thing, one or both of you gets home earlier, or you make alternative arrangements for the DC for the duration of the work (library, friends houses?)

For something a bit longer, discuss with the workman and tell him their usual schedule and that they won't require supervision!

MintyBojingles · 22/03/2016 12:53

YANBU, it wouldn't sit right with me, even though I'm sure everything would be fine. I don't think it's fair on the workman.

Xmasbaby11 · 22/03/2016 12:53

I would definitely make sure one of you is there. Avoids any potential problems.

ctjoy103 · 22/03/2016 12:54

And don't ask the workman If it's ok.
It puts them on the spot and might feel awkward to say no.

cbigs · 22/03/2016 12:57

in what way is it not fair on the workman? surely if the workman was working out on the street and something happenned emergency wise they might help in a' because thats what people do' way but there is no 'pressure' on him to do anything? toddlers is bonkers as pp said
One day a week for 30 minutes? I'm dead surprised by the hesitancy from so many here. My ds let himself in every day while I had building work on. He was older than the 2 in your post op maybe 14-15? but there was never any thought of changing my plans to help the builders...ds forgot his key so it was useful them being there tbh

Haggisfish · 22/03/2016 12:59

Can't they just stay at svhool for an extra half hour? I always have students doing some sort of revision/work after school.

chelle792 · 22/03/2016 13:05

I'd be inclined, as a workman, to be unhappy with this arrangement. I wouldn't want to be put in a potentially vulnerable position

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 22/03/2016 13:08

I'm not the slightest bit worried about your children, but it puts the workmen in a potentially uncomfortable situation, for that reason I don't think I'd be happy with it.

HermioneJeanGranger · 22/03/2016 13:10

It's not fair on the workman. What if they fight, or one of them gets sick - it puts him in a position of responisibility as an adult.

I think someone needs to be home when they get in from school, or they need to go somewhere else until someone can collect them.

AuntieStella · 22/03/2016 13:11

It's light in the evenings now. Is there somewhere near the house your DC could go to for that 30 minutes (eg park together, library, cafe)?

Then your DH could meet them there and all go home together.

PurpleDaisies · 22/03/2016 13:12

For the sake of coming home 30 minutes earlier, I wouldn't put the workman in an uncomfortable position. Or do you have a friend or neighbour that could pop in until your dh gets back? Could the children go to friends that day?

MirandaWest · 22/03/2016 13:12

I have a 12 year old and a 10 year old. They get themselves back from school although as I work from home there isn't the same issue you have. Sometimes I have to be out when they get back and they are fine in the house on their own.

I'm not sure what I'd do if we had a workman there - I don't think I'd have a problem with it but would want to make sure children and workman felt comfortable too

MirandaWest · 22/03/2016 13:13

Have any people come round when your DC have been at home on their own and were they comfortable with it?

Gatehouse77 · 22/03/2016 13:18

I would ask the children if they are comfortable with it, first. And then approach the workman if needed.

Would it be possible on these occasions for the kids to go to a nearby friend's house? Library?

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 22/03/2016 13:21

We've just had work done. We just told our children to go to the library. As much as anything we didn't think it was fair on the workmen.

Monica101 · 22/03/2016 13:27

I agree it's not fair on him at all. It is also a slight risk to your kids as you don't really know him.

Definitely find other arrangements.

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