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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving DC alone with workman

52 replies

redskytonight · 22/03/2016 12:46

One day a week the DC (12 and 10) walk/cycle home from school (2 different schools) and let themselves in the house. They are then on their own for about 30 minutes until DH gets home. They are used to this, know what to do in an emergency etc etc etc.

We have to have some essential work done on the house, which will mean that the workman doing the work will likely be there when the DC get home. Hence, the only people in the house will be DC+ workman, until DH gets home.

This doesn't sit quite right with me, for reasons I'm struggling to articulate.

I'd like to make it clear that I am not suspecting the workman of being a child molester. But it does seem unfair to put him in the position where he is alone with them. Both from a safeguarding point of view and because if "something" did happen he might feel that he had to be responsible for the children, which again would be rather unfair.

AIBU to think that DH should just get home a bit earlier, so we can avoid this whole "problem"?

OP posts:
MartinaJ · 22/03/2016 13:27

The workman shouldn't be responsible for your children. That totally and completely unfair.

sonuma · 22/03/2016 13:30

I wouldn't feel right - for all sorts of reasons - to leave children alone in this situation. I'd have kids go to a friend's house / stay at school later (if that were an option) / go to library if i or DH weren't able to get back earlier. Or have another adult (friend/relative) who I and kids trusted to supervise until i got home. I don't think children can anticipate worst case scenarios - so it's not worth asking them if they'd be comfortable or not. I certainly wouldn't ask the workman -- it's not fair putting him on the spot, and he's not their parent, you are. You already know that you're not comfortable with it yourself, so trust your instincts and come up with another plan.

CiderwithBuda · 22/03/2016 13:31

A friend's DD was sexually assaulted by a workman in their home. So no I wouldn't.

MattDillonsPants · 22/03/2016 13:33

YANBU and you will find that he won't be able to be in that position probably. My DH is a tradesman and once he turned up to a job to find a boy of about 9 answering the door...he said that his Dad had had to nip out but would be back in an hour and he was to let DH in.

DH said no, he couldn't come in without an adult at home and then went and phoned his office to tell them. He just went and had a coffee until the Dad got in. He said that his boss told him he'd done the right thing and this resulted in a memo going round that others were to do the same.

It's not on.

jennifer86 · 22/03/2016 13:41

I have to agree with other posters. It would result in the workman feeling he was responsible for your children, and he wouldn't be able to just get on with what he's supposed to be working on. Making your DP leave work half an hour early just for that feels a bit OTT, though. There must be somewhere else they could go on the way home from school? Maybe library like others have suggested? Or is there an after school club they could go to?

Maryz · 22/03/2016 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz · 22/03/2016 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 22/03/2016 13:43

I wouldn't. Whilst it wouldn't because I didn't trust the workman, it would not fair to put him in a situation which leaves him open to any accusations (not that I would think my DC would do that) or out him in any situation where he might be seen or assumed to be responsible for them.

ILoveWillSmith · 22/03/2016 13:44

As other people have said, its not fair on the workman or the kids.
My dh is a tradesman and if there is no adult on the premises he won't go into the house. Its not fair to ask the workman, just make other arrangements.
If I was the workman I would refuse, because if something happened (or even if the kids decided to say something happened) he wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
That.

StarOnTheTree · 22/03/2016 13:52

I think it depends. I'm having a boiler fitted today and I wouldn't go out and leave the DC (9 and 15) for even a few minutes because I don't know the workmen.

My builder who has been doing work for me for years and has practically lived here for the last 3 months, yes business as normal. If I would usually leave the DC at home then I still do even when the builder is here. It wouldn't enter his head that he was to do any childcare in my absence Grin

Ifailed · 22/03/2016 14:14

Agree with most other posters, it's unfair on the workman (workperson ? what is the correct phrase?)

You haven't told us what work was going on, it may be dangerous to have unknown, unsupervised children around at the time as well. Ask if the 12 YO can pick up the 10 YO, having warned the school before hand, and tell them to arrange to get home in time to meet your DH.

BlueJug · 22/03/2016 18:36

Agree.
Not fair on workmen. If any sort of "misunderstanding" occurred they would lose everything as they could never prove things either way. They would have to take extra care knowing there were unsupervised children around. They would feel responsible even if you didn't hold them so.

Kids might feel awkward and although I am sure the workmen are absolutely fine you are putting your kids in a situation in which if someone were to sexually abuse or even make them feel uncomfortable there is nowhere they can go to escape.

I would never put myself or allow my DP to be in that situation.

ScoutsMam · 22/03/2016 18:41

I wouldn't be happy doing work somewhere there was 'unsupervised' children, no matter how sensible or well behaved.

Mari50 · 22/03/2016 19:19

I think it's unreasonable to leave your children unattended with tradesman. This is nothing to do with childcare etc, it's simple safeguarding for both the children and the adult.

HooseRice · 22/03/2016 19:22

Don't do it.

When I was 15 we had gas central heating fitted. The workman practically chased me round the house day one. I had to make myself scarce the rest of the week. Horrible...and I didn't think to tell anyone at the time.

LifeofI · 22/03/2016 19:29

Your DH should come home earlier

Original poster
redskytonight · 23/03/2016 11:06

Thank you for all replies. it sounds like most of you were thinking along the same lines as me :)

As luck would have it, the workman rang up last night and said that he was now bringing an apprentice, so expected to be finished by 2pm (previously was 5pm) and as neither of the DC will be home till much later the problem has actually gone away!!

OP posts:
Whathaveilost · 23/03/2016 11:13

Blimey! My kids were this age when we had our house extended and were in the same postion. The work went on for months. It never occurred to me to say anything to the work men! Kids came home from school, offered them a brew and then went to their rooms not to be seen for hours!!

herecomethepotatoes · 23/03/2016 14:06

I think it's fine and would be okay with it.

heron98 · 23/03/2016 14:08

I think it's fine. They are not babies. I do not see the issue at all.

Tariqa · 23/03/2016 14:12

Give them £5 and suggest they detour by the cafe/library/McDonalds so that they arrive same time as DH?

expatinscotland · 23/03/2016 14:21

If I were the workpeople I'd say no.

Maryz · 23/03/2016 14:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BastardGoDarkly · 23/03/2016 14:33

Ah, glad it's sorted itself for you op :)

Whathaveilost · 23/03/2016 14:54

That's builders (plural), WhathaveIlost. I think it's different if there is a whole team of builders rather than having one man alone with children

Eh? No it wasn't a whole team. Often it was one builder or a plumber or a sparky.There wasn't many days when there was more than on person on the job after the foundations were done.
The trade guy would hardly know they were there as they would come in dump their bags and head off to their room to play on their ps3 or x box until tea time.