Children unattended at a theme park

[ChaChaChaCh4nges]

STBXH and I are going through a very acrimonious divorce. We have three children, aged 8, 6 and 4. DC1 has epilepsy, which is currently controlled through medication although we are aware that as DC1 grows them the dosage needed to control the epilepsy will change and we should expect what are termed breakthrough seizures at some point (at which point we'll rebalance his meds).

I genuinely don't know if I'm over-reacting to something that happened last weekend because, frankly, I'm struggling to see any good in anything STBXH does at present. I'd really appreciate the view of the MN on this.

Last weekend, STBXH took the DCs to a theme park. The DCs seem to have had a brilliant time, which is great. From their excited descriptions, I understand that for most of the rides DC1 was tall/old enough to go on unaccompanied, and that STBXH was able to accompany both DC2 and DC3 at the same time - so all four of them were able ride together.

However, there was one rollercoaster that DC3 was too small/young to go on at all, and DC2 could only ride with one-on-one adult supervision. STBXH queued with all three, then let DC1 ride unaccompanied while he waited to with DC2 and DC3. I''m OK with that.

The part I'm not comfortable with is that STBXH then went on the ride with DC2, leaving DC1 in charge of DC3. I think for around 5 minutes. They weren't in a special family area, as far as I can tell, they were at the side of the ride. DC1 says that DC3 tried to run away (which I can completely believe of DC3, who would have thought it was funny) and DC1 had to 'hurt him a little bit to make him stop'.

None of the DCs can recite STBXH's phone number; what if DC3 had succeeded in running away? What if DC1 had run after him and they'd both got lost? What if DC1 had had a seizure (far less likely, but possible)? What if DC1 had hurt DC3 more seriously to make him stop running away?

So - MN jury - am I over-reacting?

no because my four year old is bonkers and would in no way listen to his sibling. However could ex have asked ride operator to keep an eye?

It was LegoLand. He might have asked the ride operator to keep an eye, I don't know.

Thank you all for your help with this one. I'm going to let it go, as a grey area.

I don't know exactly how the 8 year old hurt the 4 year old, but most likely he held him tight to stop him running.

TBF to STBXH - he's only been drunk once and it was just after I'd told him it was over; I think he'd gone on a bender and misjudged it. And the 4 year old isn't reliably a bolter, it's just when he gets into a silly mood.

Parent swap at theme parks is for an adult to stay with the younger child while the other parent rides. Not to leave young kids waiting alone!
That really interesting as it completely contradicts a face book post a couple of weeks ago on Legoland Facebook page where it recommended taking turns with each child

I bet the Facebook post was wrong

Ds and I go to legal and a lot! My bet it was the Knights roller coaster. There's always children waiting there. The pre are seats for them to wait at and its behind the gates for queing with staff right there and there is no way through to where the actual track is - or no way to bolt out of there.

And there is no way I'd allow an epileptic child to ride that ride unaccompanied by an adult.

I hope your 8 year old at least has a medi alert of some kind, like a wrist band, if he is going to be unattended in public?

Sylviawrath - ask that question to the father as it's the father who is leaving the child alone in public.

It does't sound like something he would be arsed to do, so his mother has to do it if she is going to let the father take him places when she knows he does things like this.

Its not about whose job it is or who should, its about keeping the child safe.

I think this may sound worse than it really was.

I've been to Legoland loads. If you do parent swap, you all queue up together, parent goes one with one child at a time whilst the other(s) wait(s) at the side of the ride. They are inside a gated area, they can't leave without undoing the gate (not impossible but makes it less likely). None of the relevant rides last 5 mins. More like 1-2mins. Many of them you can actually see the waiting child whilst you're riding. It is really not the same as just abandoning them in the middle of a crowded theme park.

Having said that, I would definitely not have left the 8yo feeling they were in charge of the 4yo if that 4yo was a runner - pretty unfair on the older child.

Yes, it was the Knights rollercoaster.

Yes, our 8 year old does have a medi-alert wrist band. But it doesn't have STBXH's number on it (there was only space for 2 numbers and so we decided to put on mine and our nanny's). Still, at least one of us would have been alerted and then we could have got hold of STBXH.

I don't think he has done something lots of other parents do...

In your case yes pick your battles .. This wouldn't be one of them... It sounds like he was trying..

Do any of those saying its ok or, pick your battles etc have a child with epilepsy? I very much doubt it, because no way would you say that if you did.

I think some people are being very harsh on STBXH. Most men I know struggle with going out with 1 kid and he has tried his best to give all 3 kids a lovely day out. He did his best in a difficult situation and could have madw worse decisions! It sounds like yout child's epilepsy is currently under control. The man is not perfect but I think it is too easy to overlook that he tried his best.