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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

school suspension

39 replies

BreakfastMuffin · 21/03/2016 19:04

Just wondering what people think. If a child is suspended from school for a couple of days would you expect the rest of the class/school to be told by the teacher? Wouldn't it be a confidentiality issue?

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Cutecat78 · 21/03/2016 19:06

No it's a punishment and the child is probably being used as an example to the others.

cardibach · 21/03/2016 19:07

Not confidential at all. The reason might be, but not the suspension itself. Why do you think it might be?

ctjoy103 · 21/03/2016 19:08

Why should it be a confidentiality issue. He did something wrong to be suspended so no need to protect him from that.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 21/03/2016 19:09

I would imagine it would be, but, With best will in the world. The school can't the children talking amongest themselves. Gossip spreads like wild fire amongst friends.

noblegiraffe · 21/03/2016 19:10

The kids are more likely to tell me that a kid has been suspended as my school is poor at communicating this sort of thing to teachers.

No, not a confidentiality issue, quite the opposite. Students should be told of the punishment to show them that stuff is taken seriously.

EverySongbirdSays · 21/03/2016 19:14

Even if it isn't ANNOUNCED - and it rarely is, these things go round. Gossip travels massively fast in schools and the teachers are as bad for spreading it as the kids. If your DC has been suspended, it will be widespread knowledge already, sorry.

QueenofLouisiana · 21/03/2016 19:17

Most of the kids will know why someone has been suspended- gossip travels fast. I'd never talk about it beyond "X has been told not to come in". However, children are told that "someone" has had to stay at home because of their behaviour at times.

TBH it's rarely a step taken lightly- using it as a warning seems reasonable.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 21/03/2016 19:19

The reason, possibly depending on the situation but the fact of the suspension, no not confidential

I wouldn't expect an official announcement as I don't think it's fair to use one child to make an example, but certainly if questions are asked. Although if for example they're suspended for bullying I would want the victims to know so they knew it was being taken seriously

BreakfastMuffin · 21/03/2016 19:22

I was asking if it's appropriate for the teachers to announce it to the class and ask the students to not tell the child. Not about gossip going round etc. In my case, my child has been bullied extensively and the school did nothing about it. He retaliated on one occasion in a non violent way and got suspended. So to me the school is saying to the bullies it's OK to do it as they didn't admit to it or got caught. Was just wondering what the people on here thought.

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ihateminecraft · 21/03/2016 19:22

In DC'S school they disappear from the register for a few days so the kids put 2 & 2 together.

Floggingmolly · 21/03/2016 19:22

How on earth could this be a confidential piece of information??

TooAswellAlso · 21/03/2016 19:23

Depends on the age of the children.

DS was year four with his suspensions, and nothing was said to the other students. He just wasn't there for two days a couple of times.

His last two dayer was last September (whoooooop, touch wood) in year five and the school didn't tell the class or students again - but this time DS did

clam · 21/03/2016 19:24

I know of a case whereby a child was suspended for a racial incident. None of the other children realised. Not only did this miss an opportunity for others to know how unacceptable the behaviour was, and that a serious sanction had been applied, but there was another similar incident a few months later, involving different students. They pleaded ignorance that their behaviour was out-of-line, and they had no idea that the previous child had been punished for something similar.

clam · 21/03/2016 19:26

And I would also expect the parents of the suspended child to be more concerned with ensuring s/he knew how serious/wrong their behaviour had been, rather than fussing about whether the school should have taken steps to keep it all secret.

Buzzardbird · 21/03/2016 19:28

What was the retaliation that warranted suspension?

Eebahgum · 21/03/2016 19:31

I'm thinking the school is very strict to implement a 2 day suspension for a non-violent act of retaliation. If you genuinely think they are not supporting you & ds re bullying I would be considering a move of schools.

bearleftmonkeyright · 21/03/2016 19:32

I am a LSA and have dealt with children who have been excluded. No, it wouldn't be announced to the class. If this were my child I would be talking to the head and ensuring there was a long term solution to the problems you are experiencing. I keep a very close eye on the children i work with to make sure they are not being scapegoats if trouble occurs at break time. Could that be a solution for your child? Maybe ask if there is a member of staff who could work with you child.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 21/03/2016 19:33

What non-violent act would warrant a suspension?! I thought schools were really, really careful about issuing them nowadays.

BreakfastMuffin · 21/03/2016 19:34

Can't say as it would make it too obvious but it wasn't violence or theft. I didn't say it warranted suspension but it's what happened.

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Ceeceecee · 21/03/2016 19:35

I think one thing that is useful to communicate to your kid is that this is how the real world works too. If you do something wrong and end up in court, nobody cares much that you are an all/round good person or if you had provocation. They judge the incident not your whole life.

That's what I've told two of my kids recently when they got in trouble. First time for them both and much shock at the unfairness and harshness of the punishments.

I've been really sympathetic and looked after them but do think there's a lesson to be learned too.

bearleftmonkeyright · 21/03/2016 19:39

It doesn't have to be a violent act to warrant a suspension. Just a thought op but does your child generally cope with school?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 21/03/2016 19:40

No but the school obviously thought it did, that's what I meant.

frumpet · 21/03/2016 19:40

How do you know what actually happened in the classroom ? As other's have said gossip spreads and maybe the teacher was simply putting the children straight as to the reason for your child's absence ?

bearleftmonkeyright · 21/03/2016 19:42

Sorry Paulanka I think I misunderstood.

BreakfastMuffin · 21/03/2016 19:42

Thanks for your comments, just to add when he came back to school the bullies emptied a trash can into his locker, they did it after they were told in class along with the other kids that he was suspended.
Eebahgum - yes we are.

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