Aibu not wanting to look after DH'S grandson.

[warriorwoman]

Aibu to not want to look after DH'S granddaughter, age 8? We have been together for 20 years and I get on ok with his DD, but we are not close & she can be very selfish and ungrateful. I've looked after her in the past, but she is very spoilt and a bit of a brat, so I am reluctant to anymore. My DD is working, so has asked me, but I have said no. Aibu?

Eva My dad's fiancé considers my children her grandchildren too. I would never expect her to provide childcare for me though. Mind you I don't expect my dad to either. Of course I do ask my dad from time to time and he is more than happy to if it's convenient for him. If it isn't then it's tough. I don't expect him to as he has his own life and my children aren't his responsibility just because they're my responsibility. I definitely wouldn't go and ask his fiancé.
He offers to have them a lot though, offers to do the school runs etc... They both look after them together often as well. Again only if it's convenient for them. I certainly would feel very uncomfortable if my dad agreed to have them and then asked his fiancé instead and it wasn't convenient for her or she didn't want to. I'd want him to tell me that he can't look after them instead.

I think the Op's DH should tell his DD that he can no longer look after his granddaughter. If the Op doesn't want to look after the child then that's her choice and she's not mean for saying no. This has happened with my dad in the past where he could no longer look after my children and I didn't kick up a stink about it. Neither should the Op's Dsd.