To hate how everything has to be an experience

[ConfuciousSayWhat]

And not just an experience or an event but one at the outer reaches of emotion. Nothing is every just alright or fine, or a good day out.

Bob and I had the most amazingly uplifting experience of our lives today when we took the kids to the park. Such an incredibly proud moment getting to see these precious people grow

I like that people try to keep the bright side showing. Esp on fb where it mostly acquaintances not proper friends. I like the old fashioned trying to be respectable aspect of it. Good show, I say.

The last thing I posted on fb was a picture of my cat with lots of cat toys on her back. The caption was: Cat Buckaroo.

I have a few acquaintances who do the hashtag thing and the whole 'feeling blessed'. I just scroll past because I can't be arsed. Lovely that they're having a fine time but I'd be more likely to engage if their posts didn't have all the added cheesiness.

bloodyebay, in my defence I was in an antenatal clinic and reading material was scarce.

Ah bollocks! You've just reminded me that we had parents evening last week and I didn't post a pack of lies summing up of the conversation!

So no-one knows that DS is a genius and top on everything or exceeding expectations in all areas- or that, in fact, he needs to shut up sometimes and crack on with the work. How can I call myself a decent mother??

#motherguilt #getalife

I've backed right off FB since the New Year and I feel a million times better about myself and my life. I actually feel like I'm able to just enjoy things now I'm not scrambling to update my status or check in somewhere or post a picture of how great a time I'm having. It suddenly dawned on me over Christmas how fucking ridiculous the whole charade is and I'm pissed off that I allowed myself to get suckered in for a while!

The thing that makes my eye twitch above everything else though has to be #the #people #who #feel #the #need #to #bloody #hashtag #every #fucking #thing #all #the #goddamn #time.

It gives me the rage.

I'm involved in dog showing, and you should see the sheer amount of wankery on there about bragging.

"So proud of my precious Fluffy today. In a strong lineup under renowned international breed specialist Mr I-Know-A-Good-One she got a good look at for the Group. I'm so thrilled with this little girl from my spectacular mating of Fluffyballs and Mrs Drools-a-lot."

Translation: "Judge is from some country no one has ever heard of, but because they are from overseas people think they know everything even though he's not actually licensed to judge our breed and in fact he asked the steward if cross-breeds were allowed in the ring in this country. Fluffy was actually the only one in her class so won by default, and in fact couldn't win third prize in an egg and spoon race. I only used Mr Fluffyballs because any decent breeder wouldn't let me use their dog, and let's face it, it's probably the best thing I'll ever manage to breed."

Haha at last I've found a mumsnet thread where I have something in common with people, thought I was just grumpy! Bloody hate them all, nobody's life is that perfect, drive me bonkers. I have on particular fekwit friend on my fb who puts all these things daily, she is so blessed with her cheating husband, loves her feral children more than breathing and her life is apparently perfect, and I so enjoy that she asks our opinion on lunch every damn day. #feelingbetterforventingthankyoumumsnet !!

This is why I've given up posting on fb.

My status would be
After 45 minutes of nagging ds finally got his shoes on to go out. He then had a tantrum because he'd left the right football at school and bone of 5

Oops feeding baby

NONE OF THE other 17 football's would do. I froze my tits off watching him do various tricks, dd tried to do cartwheels and landed on her bum in the mud sea. Ds nutmegged me and I nearly landed on my bum in the mud. The baby cried for much of the walk, puked down my cleavage and had a poo explosion which escaped nappy, babygrow and sling to cover me.

Ds then had another tantrum because I wouldn't go to the extortionate ice cream shop and said he could have ice cream at home.

I then refused to let him have ice cream at home because he'd had a tantrum

Some people I know would manage to make that sound idyllic

I think this is my thread.

I like to see photos of my friends and their families on Facebook.

I can't stand the cheesy comments that some of them make, or all the hashtags. What are all the hashtags for anyway? I thought that was a twitter thing (I'm not on Twitter).

When my DC were in primary school, it was always the same parents who would post gushing comments after parents' evening. And it was always the children who were unlikely to be praised for their 'wonderful behaviour'.

I have one friend who goes out for the day, and then posts 30 photos on FB. I think to myself that that's quite a lot of photos for one day, but okay. Then I scroll down, and there are another 30 photos, and another 30 after that. Seriously? It's one day! They must have spent far more time posing for photos than actually having fun!

The same person goes on holiday to the same place every year, and posts around 300 photos. The photos are the same each year, it's just that the kids are a little bit taller.

I'd prefer to see a handful of nice photos instead of every single one. Quality over quantity.

My exH has photos and video clips of him and DD all over social media, big smiles and artfully posed doing cultural activities.

No mention that his treatment to her is so problematic that a court has recently massively reduced his contact with her (5 hrs per fortnight, no overnights), and that he has successfully evaded paying child support for the last 5 months.

Forgive me for being jaundiced about it. Do Not Believe Social Media.

What irritates me is that everything has to be magical. "Have a magical day out at X place" or create "magical memories" or "have a magical experience". Nowhere's ever described as "not too bad as a way of spending a couple of hours on Sunday if you need some fresh air".

m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10156742774075245&id=819560244

This made me cringe.

If I had my way, anyone who used the words "scrummy" or "yummy" would be suffocated in a Waitrose bag and pelted with their DCs' (Jacintha and Josh, probably) wooden toys until all the quinoa burst out.

Not that I've got a chip on my shoulder or anything...

My DD has "experiences" all the time. She experiences being hollered at for weeing on her slippers, experiences having a DVD shoved on to keep her quiet for half an hour, experiences oven chips.... MAKING MEMORIES, PEOPLE, MAKING MEMORIES.

I've got divorced friends who are out memory-ing each other with their child in the middle.

Depending on whose weekend it is, the child is either climbing mountains, jumping in puddles and then putting on a pretty frock, or making crafts and baking dressed in her tomboy outfits.

As Harry Enfield would put it, Hashtag considerably more blessed than yow.

Making memories is a good one. Even though I have taken DD (7) to Paris, she recently went up the Shard, we've been on (not v exotic but whatever) foreign holidays etc etc etc, the memories she's always making are things like 'remember when we went to that cafe and you wouldn't let me have a chocolate brownie?' and 'remember when I fell flat on my face when you made me go on that really long bike ride?'

Shame you don't get to pick the memories they make.

I do actually try and have Enriching Experiences with my DC's in the holidays. Palaces, Museums. That kind of thing.

However, when I read DD's 'what I did in the holidays' bit at parents evening, it said 'I went to McDonalds and I did buy a Shopkin'. (She's five).

Those are her memories.

Maybe we should let the kids post on Facebook, for honesty's sake.

That's really cute, Booboobedoo.

Last year we went on holiday to England from australia over Christmas and did all sorts of fun and out of the ordinary things.

When I saw my (5yo) son's "what we did in the holidays" it was " we went to Andrew's house and ate nuggets and chips it was brilliant".

Andrew is our next door neighbour.

m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10156742774075245&id=819560244

Oh dear.

I'm absolutely all for 'smelling the roses', I'm a chipper and lively type you'd all hate me but I have no need whatsoever to market myself, that's what it is, to friends and family or bore them rigid. I post an average of 2-3 updates monthly and never add any twee smuggery.

Posted too soon. In my experience its the people who are definitely NOT happy that tend to go this.

Go this? Do this by god. #feckingfatloserfingers