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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you were served by a customer assistant with no make up on

112 replies

FlyRussianUnicorn · 19/03/2016 00:09

If you would be bothered?

Say for example a shop worker or a waitress. Would you be bothered if they werent wearing makeup?

OP posts:
Ginkypig · 19/03/2016 02:03

Obviously makeup is up to the person and shouldn't even be a consideration!

I very rarely wear makeup.

I have noticed though with women who wear makeup very regularly that on the odd occasion when they don't it's quite noticeable, the difference can be quite stark, Not necessarily in a bad way but I think it would be the same as somone wearing contacts then suddenly seeing them in glasses

Ginkypig · 19/03/2016 02:05

In your circumstances you should absolutely not feel you should wear it unless you want to!

cranberryx · 19/03/2016 02:09

Maybe she felt that she could ask because you usually wear make up? Hugely insensitive though! It is no one's prerogative to decide how you present your face to the world but your own.

I once got asked at work if I planned to brush my hair, as it needed it.
I had spent an hour curling it artfully for a date after work (afternoon shift). Hmm
That stung. Sad

RockUnit · 19/03/2016 02:13

No, of course not. Makeup-free is the default for a human. Makeup is fine if you've chosen to wear it, but no way should it be compulsory.

noeffingidea · 19/03/2016 07:06

I wouldn't notice. I don't wear it myself and don't expect anyone else to.
Having said that, I used to, and there was a slight transition phase when I stopped wearing it. I looked slightly different, even though I didn't wear much, and I was prepared for the possibility of people noticing or thinking I looked worse. After all, the purpose of makeup is to enhance the appearance.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/03/2016 07:18

I wouldn't go to boss's boss. Given that you usually wear make up and you didn't that day and she accepted your answer, i don't think it was a big problem. It was tactless and a bit rude, but not terrible behaviour. It's possible that if I saw mil or my friend C bare faced, both of whom always wear make up, I might query it.

Boredworkingmum020 · 19/03/2016 07:20

Probably wouldn't notice tbh. Rather that tgan loads of slap. It's amazing what attitudes are out there. I can remember a colleague going out on an audit and tge client specified all women should wear skirts. We were also told at induction to wear makeup, skirts no higher than knee and no sleeves less tops with no cleavage on show. Ironically this was closely followed by a piece on diveersity.

londonrach · 19/03/2016 07:24

Never notice tbh.

curren · 19/03/2016 07:27

I don't care.

I don't care if a man serves me wearing make up. Don't are if a women with no make up on serves me.

LaContessaDiPlump · 19/03/2016 07:33

As a general rule I wouldn't notice. However if I went to a shop which I regularly attended and a person who usually wore makeup wasn't wearing any, I might notice as they would look different to how they normally appear.

That is the only possible reason a manager could have for asking about it - maintain a steady look so as not to confuse easily-confused customers. It is a very weak reason IMO, so I think your manager is clearly more concerned with you maintaining THEIR version of a 'professional' appearance. Since that mandates a woman wearing makeup but the same rule does not apply to men, it's sexist.

Sorry op, sounds like it was a bit rubbish Flowers

TheKingSits · 19/03/2016 07:33

I feel for you OP, having acne as an adult is horrendous enough without that kind of comment. Flowers If she is normally a nice manager she probably just had an insensitive moment and didn't realise the impact of the question. Maybe you just looked different and she was clumsily finding out why.

Vedamakesthebesttoast · 19/03/2016 07:39

Wtf? I was about to give you a roasting till I read your second post that it was actually your manager that had implied you should put some on. its totally your personal choice and I'd be incredibly offended if I was asked to wear more makeup. People shouldn't be judged on their appearance and its offensive to be expected to conform to other people's opinions on acceptable appearance if it involves anything other than hygienic and functional for the task at hand. If he or she asked again I'd be inclined to say, why? Does my appearance bother you?

Dadinator · 19/03/2016 07:39

This reply has been deleted

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msrisotto · 19/03/2016 07:40

Sigh. Men don't have to put up with this shit.

LaContessaDiPlump · 19/03/2016 07:42

Could you explain what you mean please, Dadinator?

The op was spoken to by her manager at work about her appearance, with manager giving the impression that they were unhappy she didn't cover her face in makeup. Op is not impressed. Why is that shallow?

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 19/03/2016 07:43

OP that is terrible! No wonder you are upset, aside from being sexist that is also really insensitive. And I bet none of your customers even noticed.

Bohemond · 19/03/2016 07:44

I wouldn't care either way.
What would bother me is you putting make up on in the car - assuming you are the driver, concentrate on the road woman.

ArmchairTraveller · 19/03/2016 07:45

So, you didn't bother reading more than the first post Dadinator, but just decided to give us your invaluable opinion anyway?
OP, most people just want good service. Only the shallow ones would fuss about make-up.
I don't wear make-up or dye my hair. Some people think I should, but it's my choice.
It should always be your choice too, without being ashamed or worried about others.

RubbleBubble00 · 19/03/2016 07:46

I had acne and scars - used to look very very different without a bit of slap as no one knew acne was so bad until I left it off. Very rude of her to comment though.

flanjabelle · 19/03/2016 07:48

And the most irrelevant post award goes to..... dadinator! Please collect your douchebag award at the end of the thread.

KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth · 19/03/2016 07:56

I was thinking about make up the other day (I rarely wear any and was wondering if I should) and I thought Ooh I'll have a look at work tomorrow see which of my colleagues wear make up. After work I thought, doh I forgot to look! And I couldn't remember if anyone was or not, I just don't notice.

I wouldn't notice. I don't care what someone looks like if they are doing their job properly.

And it is outrageous if you would be expected to wear make up at work. I don't know what your job is, OP but I can't think of many where what your face looks like is more important than how you do your job.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 19/03/2016 07:57

I would notice. It wouldn't bother me but I would be able to tell!

I work with a woman who wears no make up, I always think I wish I had the courage to do the same!

AuldYow · 19/03/2016 08:01

I have only noticed if they have those ridiculous caterpillar eyebrows which I just can't take my eyes off. I think I'm willing them to start crawling of their face. I was also once served by a lady with a full on beard, I noticed more as she was incredibly rude and dismissive of me.

I would only expect staff to be made up if they worked on make up counters and that's only because I'm impressed it stays on but I guess they have several layers.

OverAndAbove · 19/03/2016 08:04

Yep, Dadinator has definitely claimed the RTFT prize!

ScarlettDarling · 19/03/2016 08:05

Dadinator ...Ridiculous comment.

Op presumably you are clean and smart. They are the only things your boss would have any right to comment on. Make up is your choice and she was out of order.