AIBU to think its become shameful to admit to getting tax credits?

[smallspikyleaves]

it certainly is in my circle

I have had mine reduced recently and was moaning about it only for most of my friends to be kind of like, oh we don't get any anymore. when I would actually put money on that they actually do

It just used to be a given that most people with families got some. and people used to openly discuss it in my experience. now its all hush hush and taboo I think

I work full time but no chance of progression really in my job. Essential service worker, people keep saying Oooh don't you want children? Yes. But I don't see how I can ever afford a child. By the time I can, I will be too old to have any!

Yes, fair enough. They didn't really "get by" at all though - in poor families with many kids, a lot of children died before they reached adulthood. My grandmother was one of 9 or 10, of whom I met two ...

Oh, absolutely, but still family sizes averaged out at about six children, although the woman would probably have given birth more than six times.

My grandparents both had seven children in their families (born 1910 and 1912.) I know two children didn't survive infancy in my grandmothers family so originally nine - not sure about grandfathers.

You have to account for the fact that tax credits has almost caused a circular argument wrt cost of living. The minute banks starting accounting tax credits for mortgage affordability the natural consequence is that house prices would rise as there is more liquidity in the market.

It was an ill conceived idea at conception that many labour, conservative back benchers and economists warned brown about.

Never needed tax credits, but I don't look down on people who do. I just get annoyed that the cost of living is so high that people requite in - work top ups to survive.

Shazza if you're talking turn of the (last) century 10+ child families then it's not the case that only the man would work. Often the wife / mother would do what work they could too - with older children bringing younger ones up, and children left home alone (whilst both parents worked) at much younger ages than we would accept now.

The poorest people have never afforded to have only one parent in work.

I think the idea that women in years gone by didn't work is a bit of a myth in many places. My Nana and grandad had 9 children, 7 of whom survived and if you just look at the big picture then after she married she "didn't have a job". However when you listen to stories you heard about when she had a wee cleaning job, or a job doing some ironing or something that brought in money that wasn't seen as having an actual job.

In terms of the big family their living costs were considerably lower. They lived in a 2 bedroom flat. It's a beautiful big old building, but it's still only 2 bedrooms. The only heated room was the kitchen. The children all had wee jobs as soon as they were old enough and the spread of children also spread the cost - by the time my father was born three of his siblings were working (2 still at home paying keep). Their flat was originally rented from the council and was only bought after the kids all left home.

Housing costs and childcare costs are considerably higher now.

Also with tax credits and childcare it's worth remembering that although they pay a percentage they also only pay up to £122.50 a week for one child. Some of the nurseries around here charge £50/55 a day do you've still got £150 a week coming out of income - which if it's low is a fair chunk.

You have to account for the fact that tax credits has almost caused a circular argument wrt cost of living. The minute banks starting accounting tax credits for mortgage affordability the natural consequence is that house prices would rise as there is more liquidity in the market

yeah definitely agree

I could not believe it when we got our mortgage and the bank took my tax credits in to account ...ridiculous really as they have gone down so much yet our mortgage repayment is still the same, I would imagine this will stop now and quite rightly

I think the idea that women in years gone by didn't work is a bit of a myth in many places

I don't agree - my dh is 10 years older than me and was married before, in the mid 90's. from when they got married to when the oldest dc were teens his dw stayed at home, so, for 10 - 15 years?. he was only on about 15 - 20k and they had a mortgage and they had 3 dc that lived with them. but their house (which was a decent one) was about 20k to buy so mortgage was v cheap ...its not like that "these days"

its mostly housing costs that force both mum and dad to work

I also think car insurance etc has a lot to answer for, dh and I sat down and worked out our incomings and outgoings and our car insurance is nearly 100 quid a month alone!! its a joke I have been driving since 17 as has dh and never once had an accident or claim they simply charge what the fuck they want because its a legal requirement

gas and electric costs is a joke as well our spend on that is 50 a week and we only have a 3 bed semi

So your husband has 6 kids now and you wonder why you're skint?

Assuming of course he pays for them which I'm guessing not given your stance that the tax payer should be propping up your lifestyle and that you fully intend not to declare your husband's future SE earnings for tax purposes.

our car insurance is nearly 100 quid a month alone!!

What kind of car do you have??? There's no way that is normal. As a "young" driver (between 20-25) me and xh only paid 400per year per car with both of us insured for both cars - that was with xh having 2 write offs! Last year once we were 25 it was 300 each per year.

Also there is no way gas and electric costs on a 3bed semi should come to £50per week either. I have a single glazed good sized 3bed detached and only spend 100 per month. Also as I'm currently not working we have heating on throughout the day and have things like TV on in the background most of the day. How on earth can you use 100 per week on gas and electric?

Oh FFS.
Well it's clear now why you have no money
Your husband already had 3 kids so I presume didn't have the opportunity to save much before churning out another 3.
Have as many kids as you like - but don't then expect sympathy for not being able to afford a £200 cubs trip.

Your car insurance is ridiculous. The fact that you only seem to realise this after going through your in/outs suggests that you don't budget and don't control your money at all. Mine is £30 a month. And even though I can easily afford it, I can still tell you the amount. (I think it £28-something, but £30 will do) I can tell you to within £5 all of the regular outgoings. You need to know that. Have you just kept accepting renewals? Or do you shop around each time? Sort your car insurance out and job done - you can pay your own weekly cubs subs instead of asking your mum.

I can't believe you have the cheek to moan about tax credits when your husband has had SIX lots of child benefit!!!

we don't have anything special a people carrier (15 years old) and a mondeo (10 years old) and the gas and elec is 50 a week for both not 50 each

and as for namechaging not that I need to explain myself to anyone but dh exw 2 oldest were from her 1st marriage and supported by their own dad. and the one dh had with her is 20 and been working nearly 2 years. so no more csa which he paid regularly from when they split up (over and above csa rates as well) for him till he left school. plus regular pocket money, holiday money, school trips, clothes etc and we bought him a car when he turned 17 and have helped with him when he left home and started renting his first house with deposit and first months rent. so trust me he doesn't go without and never has. so have your biscuit right back and stick it up your arse along with your judgement cos I don't give a flying one what people like you think

go and cry over amazon / starbucks / vodafone not paying millions in tax not me and dh sticking a few quid cash in our back pocket which a) haven't yet even done and b) prob wont even dare if it comes to it :D

lol

and the gas and elec is 50 a week for both not 50 each yes 50 per week for both of them is ridiculous. My 100 per month is for both, not individually. And like I said I live in a single glazed good sized 3bed detached and have my heating on through the day and things like TV on through the day for background noise. I really cannot comprehend how you can use that much gas and electric - your using over 200 per calendar month!!

Sorry just realised my typo at the end of my post saying 100per week not 50 (must have been thinking about my monthly amount).

Out come the judgy pants.

FFS

Out come the judgy pants.FFS

lol I know

it just makes me laugh though tbh

actually makes me glad that I make / would make certain choices as it pisses off the stick up their arse brigade so much

PS and to the judgy ones even if dh HAD fathered all 3 kids with his ex we would STILL have had our 3. sorry actually our TWO as my oldest is from my previous marriage! and my ex (ds dad) has 2 more as well lmao so check out our jezza family and all the child benefit. and we haven't ruled out dc4 either, and imagine if we did go for #4 and it was TWINS gets on it before the no more benefits for more than 2 cut off date

The sad thing is OP if you did have no4 which I'm sure you will a lot of people will be cheerleading you on. Meanwhile I've yet to have one as I just can't afford it.

I was quite clear that you can have as many kids as you like without me judging.
What I judge is you moaning you don't get enough money in tax credits, when you've chosen to have those children.
And despite who the fathers are, you have, as a couple, decided to have six children in your family between you.
So - stop ducking moaning about having no money

So yeah - I'm judging you.
And back to your original AIBU - is it shameful to admit to getting tax credits?
Shameful is a strong word, but yeah - I think you should be ashamed to not rule out a fourth child when you're moaning about tax credits and letting your mum pay for stuff for you.
Cut your cloth love!

I agree, it feels like you should be somehow ashamed to be receiving any kind of benefit these days. I said something about tax credits once at work in a convo with colleagues and this one woman piped up and basically said something along the lines of that I shouldn't have had as many children as I do if I would need to rely on the state to help with childcare fees. Made me feel really embarrassed for bringing it up at all and I've never spoken about tax credits there since.

Christ knows how much 6 children must cost to the taxpayer, before even thinking about tax credits & child benefit. Do you think that doctors, teachers etc grow on trees? Even the Beckhams stopped at 4 and I don't suppose they use the NHS or non-private education. If I had 6 children I wouldn't expect to have holidays abroad or any luxuries unless I had a serious amount of money (millions).

The Olivers are about to have no. 5

Are they getting tax credits then?

Are they getting tax credits then?

Exactly. Although I don't agree with anyone having more than 2 or 3 children no matter how much money they have due to the massive population crisis that the world is facing.