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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How would you react to this?

54 replies

bollocksontheinternet · 18/03/2016 09:53

If your twelve year old was put on after school detention for forgetting his cooking ingredients? Detention one hour after school.

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 18/03/2016 09:54

Suck it up. DD's school would do this.

19lottie82 · 18/03/2016 09:54

Seems fair enough to me. What's the problem?

SaucyJack · 18/03/2016 09:54

Say "I told you so?"

Is there a backstory to this non-event?

firesidechat · 18/03/2016 09:54

I would be fine about.

bollocksontheinternet · 18/03/2016 09:56

Yes, I was thinking that would be the normal reaction - probably to laugh at them and say 'serves you right?'
Just thinking about something that happened once.

OP posts:
Imnotaslimjim · 18/03/2016 09:56

Did they forget them? Or did you not supply them? If the former, the detention is fair.

firesidechat · 18/03/2016 09:56

What do you think?

I'm guessing, not so fine.

firesidechat · 18/03/2016 09:57

Just thinking about something that happened once.

You can't leave it there. We need to know.

MartinaJ · 18/03/2016 09:58

They were supposed to bring them. They didn't. At 12, they are old enough to be able to note it down and not forget. Sounds OK.

Brightnorthernlights · 18/03/2016 09:59

Pretty normal round here. Comes under the 'not being prepared for or forgetting equipment for a lesson'.

Must be frustrating for the teacher, the practical is missed, homework, which is usually how I could have achieved a better result, is missed and subsequent theory incomplete.

bollocksontheinternet · 18/03/2016 10:00

Sorry fireside, I probably should have expanded more in my op! Just worried now people are going to get a bit funny about it. It wasn't even me, it was my sibling and just our mum went berserk about it, screaming and shrieking 'oh no, no no no no!' for ages.

I have pretty much concluded my parents were mad Hmm but when it's your only yardstick it's hard to really process if in terms of your own family.

OP posts:
DawnOfTheDoggers · 18/03/2016 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

firesidechat · 18/03/2016 10:04

Yes a definite over reaction from your mum and a bit bonkers. I hope that helps.

Arfarfanarf · 18/03/2016 10:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

firesidechat · 18/03/2016 10:07

Really Dawn?

Detention is such a minor punishment and it might teach the child to be more careful in future. As long as the punishment is not OTT I think it's a good idea to support the school in maintaining discipline.

Bunbaker · 18/03/2016 10:07

DawnOfTheDoggers

Good luck with that then. If your child(ren) ever get a detention and you refuse it they will be put into isolation during the day, thus impacting on their learning.

They had better make sure they don't do anything to earn a detention then.

Pollyputhtekettleon · 18/03/2016 10:13

Dawn I think it would be much better for your children to learn consequences than for you to teach them your 'them and us' attitude about authority. It won't help them in their future workplaces or frankly with their attitude in general. These situations are so important for a child's learning. Whether it's about responsibility, respect or even (un)fairness.

gamerchick · 18/03/2016 10:14

Really dawn ? You would be ok with them being put into isolation for a whole day for refusing a detention?

curren · 18/03/2016 10:16

As a parent I would be very 'me about it. She forgot it, not the end of the world. Not like they tried to burn the school down.

My mum however would have gone mad.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 18/03/2016 10:54

So far as I am aware, the requirement is for parents to be informed of the detention, but it is not a choice.

Dawn I think that you are teaching your children that there are no consequences to their actions and as gamer says, the consequence will take place during the school day. An after school detention although a relatively minor thing, has more impact because it interferes with their free time. Rights come with responsibilities.

ctjoy103 · 18/03/2016 10:59

Dawn that's being a bad parent. So basically you are teaching them there's no consequences and mummy will make it ok? Good luck to that.

QuiteLikely5 · 18/03/2016 11:01

School prepares for adulthood.

Don't do what you should = punishment

Support the school

VocationalGoat · 18/03/2016 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shovetheholly · 18/03/2016 11:27

You got me thinking bollocks - I think it used to be more of a kind of moral judgement than maybe it is now. My Mum went mental the first time I got a detention. She got over it and soon got used to my school day lasting til 5 Grin

WorraLiberty · 18/03/2016 11:30

Really Dawn?

Well if your children value their 'our time', they'll learn to remember their cookery items.

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